Mover, capital G God. All energy emanates from the Source. When it reaches Briah it divides into the thirty-six emanations, the decanic energies that mix to continually re-create Assiah , the world we eat and crap and get high in.
“Me? I saw it all . The Event greased me right through Yetzirah , through Briah , and right into Atziluth where I saw the freakin ’ face of God. And He spoke to me. Just three Words, three of the thirty-six Words used to speak the world into being, one for each decan .”
He popped an orange slice in his mouth, grinning maniacally.
“And you know what? I can’t forget them. Can’t say them, either, not one. Don’t know what would happen if I did—they’re realer than I am. And I can’t stop seeing the world for what it is. Except when I’m high of course.”
I didn’t know what to say. He shrugged, popping another orange slice.
“Is any of that real except to me? Don’t know, don’t care. Still think I can help the great Blackstone?”
----
With no reason to stay in LA, I retrieved my bag from Restormel and flew out. Shelly ghosted alongside me, but we didn’t talk much. She promised to look some more; maybe she’d missed something, another future lead we could pursue. I only half-listened. I hadn’t thought the trip through on the flight out—had kept myself from thinking about it, really. But now I detoured south of my LA-Chicago flight path, heading for the Bear River Mountains and Atlas’ cabin. When Shelly realized my destination she said goodnight and switched off.
In the middle of the cleanup from the Big One, just before the Whittier Base Attack, Atlas and I spent three nights there. I told his parents about it after the funeral, and I think it helped, a little, because they gave me the cabin. They had their ranch in Texas and had never been up there themselves; it had been John’s “Fortress of Solitude.” I’d thanked them, but hadn’t been able to go back.
Now I descended on the luxury-cabin, tucked in a mountain valley between ridges and surrounded by pine and aspen. Even without a moon, my super-sight let me see just fine by starlight. Finding the key, I unlocked the front door and dropped my bag in the entryway.
And took a deep breath. Now what?
“I could replay for you,” Shelly said quietly, popping in beside me.
I shrieked, spun around.
“Don’t do that!”
“Sorry! I just— Your neural implant was up and running by then, so there’s a complete recording of your trip in the Anarchist’s files. It’s locked, but if you want I can get it. You can see…”
“ No. ” I covered my eyes, light-headed. I wasn’t going to scream at Shelly. I wasn’t.
“No. That’s…nice, Shel . Maybe in fifty years.”
My breakthrough had forced me to abandon all my adult plans. I was still a college freshman, but I didn’t have time to experience college life. Instead of club and sorority activities, after-school parties and rooming with the Bees, I trained and patrolled. But I got Atlas. Trained as his sidekick for three months, fought beside him, fought with him. And made new plans. Until the attack.
I blinked determinedly.
“I’ll be okay, but thanks for the offer. See you at home?”
She nodded uncertainly and disappeared again.
I took another breath, and realized it didn’t hurt. I’d have to thank Shelly—she’d broken the moment, and now I knew what I’d come for. I stripped off my mask, gloves, and boots, then found the linen closet and pulled out the horse-blanket we’d used together the first night. Going back outside, I climbed to the elevated back porch, stripped the cover off the outdoor couch, and stretched out. The stars were different than the winter stars of January, but just as bright.
I could smell John in the blanket, and it got a little wet, but my dreams were beautiful.
Chapter Nine
Looking at the old comic-book
Harry Connolly
J.C. Isabella
Alessandro Baricco
S. M. Stirling
Anya Monroe
Tim Tigner
Christopher Nuttall
Samantha Price
Lisa Mondello, L. A. Mondello
Katherine Ramsland