Read Online We Shouldn't and Yet... by Stephanie Witter - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Stephanie Witter
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kiss isn’t just in my imagination.
Jensen marked me and I have no idea of what will come out of everything. And I don’t know if what I now feel is fear or excitement.
My life is changing and it’s going a lot faster and very differently from what I anticipated. But there’s one thing for sure; I really need out of Jensen’s house.
AIDEEN
I put away my last piece of clothing in the dresser of the small bedroom and glance at Hal sitting on the bed. He jumped at the chance to help me unpack when I sent him a text an hour ago. He was just about to leave the rec center.
Of course, I’ve waited a few hours before texting him. It has actually taken me hours to cool off after Jensen’s kiss. Just thinking about the way his whiskers felt on my skin, the way his skillful lips played with mine, I’m clenching down below.
“Ready to order pizza?’’ Hal asks me, already dialing the phone to place an order.
I chuckle and gesture for him to follow me back to the small living room. I turn on the TV and give him the remote. I don’t really care what we’re going to watch. I just like it when there’s background noise. It makes it a bit easier to stop my mind from wandering to bad places.
“Thirty minutes to wait.’’ He channel surfs for a couple of minutes and settles on a re-run of a blockbuster before he focuses back on me. “Are you okay? Since you’ve been here you’ve been…’’
“Weird?’’
“No, more like not exactly yourself.’’
I shrug and take a deep breath. For once, I’m letting the emotions linked to my past rush in. “I’m fine. It’s just that I’m worried for my mother and I keep thinking about Yann. I don’t know, maybe the change of scenery is harder than I thought it’d be.’’
He puts an arm around me and pulls me closer until I put my head on his shoulder. It feels safe, easy. I bring a hand to his strong thigh and enjoy the proximity. Sometimes it’s good to be in someone’s arms and it doesn’t have to be sexual. It’s about comfort and Hal is that for me. I smile and sigh contentedly when his warmth seeps into me.
“Do you want to talk about him?’’
“No. There’s nothing to talk about, really.’’
“You always say that, Aideen.’’
I pull away and look at his somber face and furrowed brow. “Does that bother you?’’
“A little. I mean, I’m your best friend and you know pretty much everything about me.’’ He tugs a few strands of hair behind my ear. “You keep so much of yourself locked away.’’
I look away and hug myself. “You know how it ended with Yann. It’s more than most people know, Hal. And being best friends doesn’t mean we have to share everything. I have some things I’m still trying to overcome and talking isn’t… It’s not me. I’m not one to wallow.’’
“It’s not wallowing but talking . I’m not going to judge or say anything.’’
“Stop. Please.’’ I bring my legs to my chest and wrap my arms around my knees, head resting on them to keep an eye on my pushy best friend.
He nods and lets it go, but somehow there’s a distance between us now. I’m aware that he wants me to open up more to him, but I hate talking about the mess that is part of my past. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but talking makes it harder to breathe and I don’t want to break down in front of him, or in front of anybody for that matter.
“You mind if I ask my father to come? I ordered too much food for the two of us.’’ He grabs his cell from the small coffee table made of light-colored teakwood and quickly glances at me.
I stiffen at Jensen’s mention. I don’t know what I want more; him in my apartment or him far away from me. Instead, I tell Hal I don’t mind if his father joins us. Though, I’m pretty sure he’s got plans for the evening. A man like him must not spend a Friday night on his own very often.
“Jensen, it’s Hal.’’ He chuckles and runs a hand along his jaw, like I’ve
Jensen marked me and I have no idea of what will come out of everything. And I don’t know if what I now feel is fear or excitement.
My life is changing and it’s going a lot faster and very differently from what I anticipated. But there’s one thing for sure; I really need out of Jensen’s house.
AIDEEN
I put away my last piece of clothing in the dresser of the small bedroom and glance at Hal sitting on the bed. He jumped at the chance to help me unpack when I sent him a text an hour ago. He was just about to leave the rec center.
Of course, I’ve waited a few hours before texting him. It has actually taken me hours to cool off after Jensen’s kiss. Just thinking about the way his whiskers felt on my skin, the way his skillful lips played with mine, I’m clenching down below.
“Ready to order pizza?’’ Hal asks me, already dialing the phone to place an order.
I chuckle and gesture for him to follow me back to the small living room. I turn on the TV and give him the remote. I don’t really care what we’re going to watch. I just like it when there’s background noise. It makes it a bit easier to stop my mind from wandering to bad places.
“Thirty minutes to wait.’’ He channel surfs for a couple of minutes and settles on a re-run of a blockbuster before he focuses back on me. “Are you okay? Since you’ve been here you’ve been…’’
“Weird?’’
“No, more like not exactly yourself.’’
I shrug and take a deep breath. For once, I’m letting the emotions linked to my past rush in. “I’m fine. It’s just that I’m worried for my mother and I keep thinking about Yann. I don’t know, maybe the change of scenery is harder than I thought it’d be.’’
He puts an arm around me and pulls me closer until I put my head on his shoulder. It feels safe, easy. I bring a hand to his strong thigh and enjoy the proximity. Sometimes it’s good to be in someone’s arms and it doesn’t have to be sexual. It’s about comfort and Hal is that for me. I smile and sigh contentedly when his warmth seeps into me.
“Do you want to talk about him?’’
“No. There’s nothing to talk about, really.’’
“You always say that, Aideen.’’
I pull away and look at his somber face and furrowed brow. “Does that bother you?’’
“A little. I mean, I’m your best friend and you know pretty much everything about me.’’ He tugs a few strands of hair behind my ear. “You keep so much of yourself locked away.’’
I look away and hug myself. “You know how it ended with Yann. It’s more than most people know, Hal. And being best friends doesn’t mean we have to share everything. I have some things I’m still trying to overcome and talking isn’t… It’s not me. I’m not one to wallow.’’
“It’s not wallowing but talking . I’m not going to judge or say anything.’’
“Stop. Please.’’ I bring my legs to my chest and wrap my arms around my knees, head resting on them to keep an eye on my pushy best friend.
He nods and lets it go, but somehow there’s a distance between us now. I’m aware that he wants me to open up more to him, but I hate talking about the mess that is part of my past. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but talking makes it harder to breathe and I don’t want to break down in front of him, or in front of anybody for that matter.
“You mind if I ask my father to come? I ordered too much food for the two of us.’’ He grabs his cell from the small coffee table made of light-colored teakwood and quickly glances at me.
I stiffen at Jensen’s mention. I don’t know what I want more; him in my apartment or him far away from me. Instead, I tell Hal I don’t mind if his father joins us. Though, I’m pretty sure he’s got plans for the evening. A man like him must not spend a Friday night on his own very often.
“Jensen, it’s Hal.’’ He chuckles and runs a hand along his jaw, like I’ve
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