caresses and other gestures of affection as they communed. Two young women, one of them pregnant, stripped off their clothing and waded into the water, sculpting it into pillars. Brun sat down near the river and released Silla. The child wandered toward the women and solemnly started to imitate them, lifting the water into thin wavy pillars which quickly collapsed, drenching her.
Daiya sat next to her father, feeling the eyes of the Merging Ones on her. She turned. One of the old women was staring at her; an old man nodded. She threw up her wall, feeling as though they could see through her and know everything.
Brun pulled out the wineskin he had thrust in his belt earlier, took a swig, and handed it to Daiya. She sipped at it, tasting the slightly sour fruity liquid, then handed the skin back. Brun took another draught, then stared fixedly at her, drawing his brows together. He picked absently at an insect caught in his stiff, wooly black hair. Daiya, suddenly nervous, ran her fingers through her own hair, trying to untangle the snarls that always seemed hidden in the thick, dark curly mass.
—There is something inside you, a dark spot—her father said.—I didn't feel it right away when you first came home, maybe because you were with Harel, but I sensed it when he left and so did Anra. Those old ones yonder sensed it before you threw up your wall—
Daiya peered at the Merging Ones from the sides of her eyes. They were leaving, huddled together in a knot, arms entwined.—I don't know what it is—Brun continued.—I have never felt anything quite like it, not even in my mother Rilla, who was a very moody woman full of questions—
Daiya winced as he mentioned Rilla. She kept up her wall, even though she knew her father could tear it down if he felt he must for some reason. She had never known her grandmother, who had died when Daiya was very young. She had heard only a little about her: Rilla, who was moody, who kept too many thoughts to herself, who had somehow passed her ordeal but had been unable to become a Merging One after her children were grown. She had kept part of herself from Cerwen; she had kept too much of herself from others, and had not adjusted to the communal life she was expected to live with other older people. Her unhappiness had weakened her physically to the point where even Cerwen and the other Merging Selves had been unable to keep her alive. That was all Daiya knew about her grandmother Rilla. Brun did not think about her very much, though sometimes, when Daiya was in one of her moods, she caught a wisp of a thought in her father's mind: Is she another one like Rilla?
Daiya shuddered. But she wasn't like that, not at all, she did not hide thoughts for the sake of hiding them, but because she didn't want to disturb the others. It was a phase, that was all, the result of having humors inside her body that sometimes raged out of control, and that problem would disappear after more training. And there was Harel, who could see even her darkest thoughts and dismiss them, in whose mind she could lose herself.
—I'll tell you what happened—she thought, knowing she must tell him something.—I worked very hard at my exercises, too hard perhaps, and when I was coming back, I was very weak, so weak I was sure I could not make it to the village, so I stopped to rest and for a moment I wanted to stop altogether because of my fear of what lies ahead. I slowed my heart and my lungs. Harel found me and revived me—
Brun was obviously shocked. His eyes were large. He took another swig of wine—I sensed something in Harel this afternoon, a great relief. I didn't know about this, however. It is not right to release the body before the Merged One calls you, and I am certain you didn't hear such a call—
Daiya, knowing she had to do it, reluctantly dropped her wall. She felt Brun probing her mind, searching its channels and grooves.
He withdrew and frowned.—You are very strong, Daiya, and there is
Daiya sat next to her father, feeling the eyes of the Merging Ones on her. She turned. One of the old women was staring at her; an old man nodded. She threw up her wall, feeling as though they could see through her and know everything.
Brun pulled out the wineskin he had thrust in his belt earlier, took a swig, and handed it to Daiya. She sipped at it, tasting the slightly sour fruity liquid, then handed the skin back. Brun took another draught, then stared fixedly at her, drawing his brows together. He picked absently at an insect caught in his stiff, wooly black hair. Daiya, suddenly nervous, ran her fingers through her own hair, trying to untangle the snarls that always seemed hidden in the thick, dark curly mass.
—There is something inside you, a dark spot—her father said.—I didn't feel it right away when you first came home, maybe because you were with Harel, but I sensed it when he left and so did Anra. Those old ones yonder sensed it before you threw up your wall—
Daiya peered at the Merging Ones from the sides of her eyes. They were leaving, huddled together in a knot, arms entwined.—I don't know what it is—Brun continued.—I have never felt anything quite like it, not even in my mother Rilla, who was a very moody woman full of questions—
Daiya winced as he mentioned Rilla. She kept up her wall, even though she knew her father could tear it down if he felt he must for some reason. She had never known her grandmother, who had died when Daiya was very young. She had heard only a little about her: Rilla, who was moody, who kept too many thoughts to herself, who had somehow passed her ordeal but had been unable to become a Merging One after her children were grown. She had kept part of herself from Cerwen; she had kept too much of herself from others, and had not adjusted to the communal life she was expected to live with other older people. Her unhappiness had weakened her physically to the point where even Cerwen and the other Merging Selves had been unable to keep her alive. That was all Daiya knew about her grandmother Rilla. Brun did not think about her very much, though sometimes, when Daiya was in one of her moods, she caught a wisp of a thought in her father's mind: Is she another one like Rilla?
Daiya shuddered. But she wasn't like that, not at all, she did not hide thoughts for the sake of hiding them, but because she didn't want to disturb the others. It was a phase, that was all, the result of having humors inside her body that sometimes raged out of control, and that problem would disappear after more training. And there was Harel, who could see even her darkest thoughts and dismiss them, in whose mind she could lose herself.
—I'll tell you what happened—she thought, knowing she must tell him something.—I worked very hard at my exercises, too hard perhaps, and when I was coming back, I was very weak, so weak I was sure I could not make it to the village, so I stopped to rest and for a moment I wanted to stop altogether because of my fear of what lies ahead. I slowed my heart and my lungs. Harel found me and revived me—
Brun was obviously shocked. His eyes were large. He took another swig of wine—I sensed something in Harel this afternoon, a great relief. I didn't know about this, however. It is not right to release the body before the Merged One calls you, and I am certain you didn't hear such a call—
Daiya, knowing she had to do it, reluctantly dropped her wall. She felt Brun probing her mind, searching its channels and grooves.
He withdrew and frowned.—You are very strong, Daiya, and there is
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