Read Online War Woman by Rachel Hanna - Free Book Online Page B

against her core where he longed to be. She answered in kind, her hands skimming down his back to grasp his buttocks and pull him closer to her. “Atsila…” his voice was ragged as he spoke, “you have no idea how much I have dreamed of a moment like this. I was bound to you from the moment I saw you.”
    The words spoken out loud seemed to grant him a temporary reprieve from the almost overwhelming need that engulfed his body. Pausing, he became dimly aware of something blunt and hard pressing into his chest. Leaning back slightly he reached between them and pressed gently on her chest, his fingers molding around something that felt like rock beneath her clothing.
    “What’s this?”
    “It’s a pouch containing my divining crystals.”
    “Divining crystals?”
    “Yes. They provide guidance in times of need.”
    “Really? What kind of guidance?”
    “Whether we will have victory in a battle…where to find something that is stolen or lost…how long someone will live. It varies.” She smiled seductively at him. “Do you really want to discuss crystals right now?”
    It was only then that Jonathan seemed to fully grasp their situation. Atsila was wedged firmly between his body and the rock and though her face was flushed with desire, he was ashamed at how he had lost control. He stepped back, though his body screamed silently in protest, and drew her gently away from the rock surface before letting his arms drop to his sides. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
    Atsila stared back at him. “I’m not sorry,” she replied honestly. “If you remember, I kissed you first.”
    “How could I forget.” He looked at her longingly and the desire to reach out and pull her back to him was so potent that it was a real struggle to maintain his self-control. Drawing on all his military discipline, however, he refrained from doing so.
    “Atsila, there’s something I need to tell you. I wasn’t going to but now…well, let’s just say living in your village, where everyone has such a passion for life, it’s inspired me to go after the things I truly want. I want you, Atsila, but not just for a couple of hours or a night or even a few weeks. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be only mine and for me to be only yours. I love you.”
    He paused briefly, trying to assess her reaction, before he continued. “I want you to be my wife and I won’t lie with you if we are not married. It’s part of my moral values but in all honesty it’s more a means of holding onto my sanity. You’re already under my skin, in my thoughts day and night. If I lay with you and you left me I would be tormented by the knowledge of what I’d had and lost. Better that I remain in ignorance than to know the taste of you and then be denied it forever more. If you don’t feel the same way about me then I understand but if that’s the case then please tell me now. In the end, it’s kinder that way.”
    It was evident that she was considering his words and formulating a reply but her expression was impossible to read. Though every part of him protested the thought, he braced himself for her refusal.
    “How do you see our life together?”
    The question surprised him as he had expected a flat out denial. “I’ll leave the army. I want to fight for the things I believe in. We would live together following the Cherokee customs, as if I were a Cherokee man. I don’t want or expect you to change and adapt to a foreigner’s way of life. I don’t want ownership of your land or your possessions. All I want is a promise of fidelity on both sides. You would of course be free to leave me at any point if that’s what you wanted…though if it ever gets to that, I would prefer you let me get mauled by a bear.” He shrugged and smiled.
    Atsila laughed at his words. However, her expression was neutral with her next words. “What about the forced removals?”
    “If the village has to move then we’ll move