confused.”
“Does it have something to do with Alek? Did you guys have a
fight?”
“I wish it was so simple, because then at least I would know
where I stood. No, it’s something else entirely. I think he’s distancing
himself. He’s different when we’re together now, which, by the way, is becoming
less and less frequent.”
“Well, didn’t you say he was stressed out over a new building issue?
Maybe it’s why he’s not been around as much. It’s possible that’s all it is,
Sara.”
“You don’t see it. You don’t feel it like I do. Like the other night,
for example, when he came here drunk. He was rambling on about how he would
always love me no matter what, and he needs to protect me but can’t do it when
he’s so close to me. It was weird. He was not acting like himself, drunk or not.” For as much as I tried to hold back, I
failed. A lone tear escaped and ran down my cheek. I wiped it away quickly, not
wanting any more of them to fall and halt my conversation with my best friend.
“Is he the reason we’re now down one table lamp?” she teased.
“Yeah, sorry. He must have bumped into it when he came in. I’ll
pick up another one.”
“Don’t worry about it. I think you have enough on your plate.” She
finished her glass and poured another.
“Thirsty, are we?” I asked as she took a few sips of the cool
liquid.
“No, simply trying to squash my raging hormones.” She took another
sip, swallowed and said, “He practically attacked me in the hallway, whispering
all sorts of dirty things in my ear before letting me go. Then he simply
saunters down the hallway like nothing happened.”
I didn’t want to be the reason she wasn’t spending time with her
man. “You can call him back, Lex, seriously. I don’t mind at all.”
“I wouldn’t even think about it. You need me more than I need to
have sex.” She tipped her head to the side as if she was contemplating the two.
“Yeah, you need me more,” she repeated. “End of story. I need more wine, that’s
all.” She laughed. We sat in comfortable silence. That was the great thing about
having a friend like Alexa. We can just be. We can sit together and not speak,
all while still supporting each other.
Finally, I broke the silence. “Maybe he’s having a tougher time
with killing Samuel than he even realizes.” Simply saying those words made me
shudder. “I can’t even imagine being responsible for taking another person’s
life, no matter what the circumstances. The guilt I have for putting him in
that situation will always be there, but he must be dealing with something
unimaginable.”
“Have you tried to talk to him about it?”
“Yeah, but all he does is shut down. He won’t talk to me, or
anyone else.” After some contemplation, I nodded slowly. “Maybe that’s what the
issue is.” I figured if I said it aloud I could make it true, although the
uneasy feeling never wavered.
“I bet it is, Sara,” she said
comfortingly. Poor Lex. She looked as hopeful as I was. She truly was a great
friend.
“When was the last time you saw him, or even spoke to him?”
“The last time I saw him was when he came by drunk. But the last time I spoke to him was this
morning. He’s been busy all day in meetings and hasn’t had much time to talk.”
I missed him.
I missed talking to him on the phone.
I missed his arms wrapped around me, holding me tight.
I missed his lips on mine.
I even missed arguing with him.
After another hour of talking, we decided to call it a night. The
fact the bottle of wine was empty probably had a little something to do with
our persistent yawning. At least I felt better having had the chance to talk to
someone about what was weighing on my mind.
~13~
Sara
“Hey, watch yourself,” Matt called out as he came up behind me. He
was carrying a breathtaking bouquet of white and burgundy calla lilies, and my
distractedness almost made him drop them all over the floor.
“Wow, Matt,
“Does it have something to do with Alek? Did you guys have a
fight?”
“I wish it was so simple, because then at least I would know
where I stood. No, it’s something else entirely. I think he’s distancing
himself. He’s different when we’re together now, which, by the way, is becoming
less and less frequent.”
“Well, didn’t you say he was stressed out over a new building issue?
Maybe it’s why he’s not been around as much. It’s possible that’s all it is,
Sara.”
“You don’t see it. You don’t feel it like I do. Like the other night,
for example, when he came here drunk. He was rambling on about how he would
always love me no matter what, and he needs to protect me but can’t do it when
he’s so close to me. It was weird. He was not acting like himself, drunk or not.” For as much as I tried to hold back, I
failed. A lone tear escaped and ran down my cheek. I wiped it away quickly, not
wanting any more of them to fall and halt my conversation with my best friend.
“Is he the reason we’re now down one table lamp?” she teased.
“Yeah, sorry. He must have bumped into it when he came in. I’ll
pick up another one.”
“Don’t worry about it. I think you have enough on your plate.” She
finished her glass and poured another.
“Thirsty, are we?” I asked as she took a few sips of the cool
liquid.
“No, simply trying to squash my raging hormones.” She took another
sip, swallowed and said, “He practically attacked me in the hallway, whispering
all sorts of dirty things in my ear before letting me go. Then he simply
saunters down the hallway like nothing happened.”
I didn’t want to be the reason she wasn’t spending time with her
man. “You can call him back, Lex, seriously. I don’t mind at all.”
“I wouldn’t even think about it. You need me more than I need to
have sex.” She tipped her head to the side as if she was contemplating the two.
“Yeah, you need me more,” she repeated. “End of story. I need more wine, that’s
all.” She laughed. We sat in comfortable silence. That was the great thing about
having a friend like Alexa. We can just be. We can sit together and not speak,
all while still supporting each other.
Finally, I broke the silence. “Maybe he’s having a tougher time
with killing Samuel than he even realizes.” Simply saying those words made me
shudder. “I can’t even imagine being responsible for taking another person’s
life, no matter what the circumstances. The guilt I have for putting him in
that situation will always be there, but he must be dealing with something
unimaginable.”
“Have you tried to talk to him about it?”
“Yeah, but all he does is shut down. He won’t talk to me, or
anyone else.” After some contemplation, I nodded slowly. “Maybe that’s what the
issue is.” I figured if I said it aloud I could make it true, although the
uneasy feeling never wavered.
“I bet it is, Sara,” she said
comfortingly. Poor Lex. She looked as hopeful as I was. She truly was a great
friend.
“When was the last time you saw him, or even spoke to him?”
“The last time I saw him was when he came by drunk. But the last time I spoke to him was this
morning. He’s been busy all day in meetings and hasn’t had much time to talk.”
I missed him.
I missed talking to him on the phone.
I missed his arms wrapped around me, holding me tight.
I missed his lips on mine.
I even missed arguing with him.
After another hour of talking, we decided to call it a night. The
fact the bottle of wine was empty probably had a little something to do with
our persistent yawning. At least I felt better having had the chance to talk to
someone about what was weighing on my mind.
~13~
Sara
“Hey, watch yourself,” Matt called out as he came up behind me. He
was carrying a breathtaking bouquet of white and burgundy calla lilies, and my
distractedness almost made him drop them all over the floor.
“Wow, Matt,
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