Read Online Walking the Line by Nicola Marsh - Free Book Online Page B

terms.”
    He stared at me, beseeching me to understand,
while I remained clueless.
    “I don’t see what you finding a pair of balls
has anything to do with me.”
    His roguish smile alerted me to an incoming
zinger. “On the contrary, you seem to be very interested in my
balls.”
    For the first time in twenty-four hours, I
felt like laughing. But I didn’t, because making light of this
situation would do nothing to speed up the end goal: getting Finn
to leave once and for all.
    “Turf management was a stopgap for me. I can
see that now.” He reached for my hand and I snatched it away,
folding my arms and tucking my hands against my sides. “Honestly? I
don’t know what the hell I want to do career-wise, but I’m damn
sure who I want as my partner while I make important decisions, and
that’s you.”
    I hated how my heart leapt at his sincere
declaration. “Important decisions like how many kids to have?”
    He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve
never lied to you and I’m not about to start now. Yeah, I want
kids. But don’t you think we should have a real relationship
first?”
    “What’s the point, when I can’t give you what
you want—”
    “This is the point.”
    Before I could react he kissed me, hard and
fast and frantic. I should push him away, I knew that, but for a
few mindless moments I allowed myself to indulge in the firmness of
his lips, the talent of his tongue, and the sensations that flooded
my body whenever he did this.
    Surprisingly, he broke the kiss before I did,
holding me at arm’s length, his breathing ragged. “Tell me you
don’t want this.”
    I had to lie. It was my only option. But I’d
vowed to never be like my mum, who’d lived a lie before running
away without a second thought.
    “I don’t want us to start a relationship
that’s doomed from the start.” He opened his mouth to respond and I
rushed on. “I don’t want you to end up regretting our involvement
or worse, resenting me.”
    “But you’ve told me the truth upfront so I
know what I’m getting into,” he said, willing me to believe with
his persuasive tone. “Here are the facts. I’m staying in Sydney
because of you. Not because I need a visa. Not because I want
anything from you. But because I…care about you.”
    His quick look-away hinted at something more
than caring and knowing he may feel the same way I did made this
all the harder.
    “My folks had a massive age gap, fifteen
years, so mum got bored and ran away with a younger guy when I was
little,” I said, not surprised when his eyes widened. “I’m
reluctant to let history repeat.”
    “But you wouldn’t be running away from
anything.” He rubbed my upper arms and damned if I didn’t sway
toward him. “You’d be running toward something. Me.”
    He made it sound so simple, so logical. Yet
so insane.
    “Let me clue you in to what happens when a
relationship implodes. My Dad was left a shattered man incapable of
making an emotional connection, let alone caring for his daughter.
So I ended up wanting the one thing I didn’t have, a family, and
hooked up with the first guy who looked my way because of it.”
    The truth tumbled out of me in a rush and
once I started I couldn’t stop. “I moved in with Dougal the day I
turned eighteen, in a perfect cottage we could barely afford. But I
was starry-eyed and hopeful and in love. So in love I wanted to
start a family ASAP to make up for the family I’d never had.”
    Finn’s hands stilled, supporting my elbows,
solid. I saw the surprise in his eyes. Wait until he heard the
rest.
    “He proposed a month later. I accepted. We
wanted to have our kids young and close together.” I dragged in a
breath, the pain of the past making my lungs seize. “When it didn’t
happen for us, we went through investigations. I discovered I was
reproductively challenged and a month later Dougal left town.”
    Finn’s fingers dug into me. “I’m so
sorry—”
    “That’s the thing about being