Read Online Walk Beside Me (Walk Series) by H.J. Bellus - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: H.J. Bellus
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Tommie.
“What are you about to do, Tess?”
I look up to see Tommie studying my face knowing all too well my telltale signs of being nervous. I can only chuckle back at her.
“You’re like a book, girl. Spill it already.”
“Tommie, I’ve made my mind up about my future. I don’t want to fight over it. You just need to accept it and move on.” I drag the bright orange fleece blanket up below my chin. “I’m leaving Christmas night. I want to spend it with you guys. I don’t feel ready to let you know where I’m going. I just need to start a new life for myself.”
Tears roll down Tommie’s face. “I thought you might stay.”
“I’m sorry, sissy.”
“But I need you in my life, Tessa.”
“It’s too painful to stay here any longer.”
“What about the baby and Finn?”
I crawl from the couch and settle in at Tommie’s feet leaning my head on her knees. I feel her free arm begin to brush through my hair and the action instantly soothes me.
“I’m looking into adoption. Finn and I won’t work out, and I want this baby to have everything we had growing up.”
That was the first time I said “this baby”. I’ve been rehearsing it over and over in my mind. It hurt just as bad as I thought it would not to claim him or her.
“Oh, Tess, we’ll be here for you. Please, just please, rethink your choices.”
I don’t respond and Tommie doesn’t speak another word. She knows my mind is made up and that I’m not staying. We sit together for a long time in silence listening to the sweet little breaths of baby Emma and even a couple of grunts that escape her. I bet this baby will be just as sweet. I have to keep practicing using those words as if they are a silent pray on my heart.
My tears lull me to sleep, and before I know it, I’ve dozed off on Tommie’s knee. By the time I wake up, I’m too stiff to move. Will is standing before the three of us snapping pictures with his cell phone.
“I didn’t mean to wake you, ladies.” He bends down placing his normal kiss on Tommie’s forehead and taking Emma from her arms.
“It’s okay,” I mumble through my haze of sleep.
“You alright, baby?” Will studies Tommie’s face.
“I’m fine. If you’ll excuse me I need to be alone for a while.”
Tommie leaves the room, and I follow her but take a right turn into my bedroom. I do know that I’ve just broken the heart of my only sibling and hate myself for doing it, but I just can’t see any other way around my situation. I find a pen and paper and let it all flow.
Finn,
When you get this note I’ll be gone. After Tommie had little Emma I just couldn’t convince myself to leave them. I know that I promised I’d never leave or walk away from you again. I’m breaking that promise. I begged you to stay with me after the night we shared together and you left. When I saw you with Kara I knew we’d never work out.
I love you, Finn, and always will. You’re the one person I never thought I could live without, but now life leaves me no choice. You saved me in my darkest hour and helped me live again. Our time together was short-lived but worth everything to me.
I truly feel like a foreign object is living inside of me right now. I know you shed tears over my belly and felt our baby kick, but you’ve done nothing else to fight for us. Your voice messages were simple pleas to see me again and not one mention about the baby growing inside of me.
I’ll forever be thankful for the memories you helped me make and the pain you blessed me with and my forever regret will be never being able to “Walk Beside You” as your wife.
I love you, Finn.
Tess-uh
My face is a mess with water and tears, but I continue to write. I write a letter to Will, Tommie, Scarlett, and to the baby in my womb. All emotions and harsh truths are poured into each letter. Life is not pretty, and I don’t disguise those facts with my words. The baby and my family member deserve to know the brutal truth of how
“What are you about to do, Tess?”
I look up to see Tommie studying my face knowing all too well my telltale signs of being nervous. I can only chuckle back at her.
“You’re like a book, girl. Spill it already.”
“Tommie, I’ve made my mind up about my future. I don’t want to fight over it. You just need to accept it and move on.” I drag the bright orange fleece blanket up below my chin. “I’m leaving Christmas night. I want to spend it with you guys. I don’t feel ready to let you know where I’m going. I just need to start a new life for myself.”
Tears roll down Tommie’s face. “I thought you might stay.”
“I’m sorry, sissy.”
“But I need you in my life, Tessa.”
“It’s too painful to stay here any longer.”
“What about the baby and Finn?”
I crawl from the couch and settle in at Tommie’s feet leaning my head on her knees. I feel her free arm begin to brush through my hair and the action instantly soothes me.
“I’m looking into adoption. Finn and I won’t work out, and I want this baby to have everything we had growing up.”
That was the first time I said “this baby”. I’ve been rehearsing it over and over in my mind. It hurt just as bad as I thought it would not to claim him or her.
“Oh, Tess, we’ll be here for you. Please, just please, rethink your choices.”
I don’t respond and Tommie doesn’t speak another word. She knows my mind is made up and that I’m not staying. We sit together for a long time in silence listening to the sweet little breaths of baby Emma and even a couple of grunts that escape her. I bet this baby will be just as sweet. I have to keep practicing using those words as if they are a silent pray on my heart.
My tears lull me to sleep, and before I know it, I’ve dozed off on Tommie’s knee. By the time I wake up, I’m too stiff to move. Will is standing before the three of us snapping pictures with his cell phone.
“I didn’t mean to wake you, ladies.” He bends down placing his normal kiss on Tommie’s forehead and taking Emma from her arms.
“It’s okay,” I mumble through my haze of sleep.
“You alright, baby?” Will studies Tommie’s face.
“I’m fine. If you’ll excuse me I need to be alone for a while.”
Tommie leaves the room, and I follow her but take a right turn into my bedroom. I do know that I’ve just broken the heart of my only sibling and hate myself for doing it, but I just can’t see any other way around my situation. I find a pen and paper and let it all flow.
Finn,
When you get this note I’ll be gone. After Tommie had little Emma I just couldn’t convince myself to leave them. I know that I promised I’d never leave or walk away from you again. I’m breaking that promise. I begged you to stay with me after the night we shared together and you left. When I saw you with Kara I knew we’d never work out.
I love you, Finn, and always will. You’re the one person I never thought I could live without, but now life leaves me no choice. You saved me in my darkest hour and helped me live again. Our time together was short-lived but worth everything to me.
I truly feel like a foreign object is living inside of me right now. I know you shed tears over my belly and felt our baby kick, but you’ve done nothing else to fight for us. Your voice messages were simple pleas to see me again and not one mention about the baby growing inside of me.
I’ll forever be thankful for the memories you helped me make and the pain you blessed me with and my forever regret will be never being able to “Walk Beside You” as your wife.
I love you, Finn.
Tess-uh
My face is a mess with water and tears, but I continue to write. I write a letter to Will, Tommie, Scarlett, and to the baby in my womb. All emotions and harsh truths are poured into each letter. Life is not pretty, and I don’t disguise those facts with my words. The baby and my family member deserve to know the brutal truth of how
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