Read Online Void by Cassy Roop - Free Book Online Page A

deep blue of his eyes, noticing how vibrant they were up close. From far away, they looked dark and brooding, but up close, I could see the tiniest of gold flecks around his pupils.
    “I think it stopped.” He said, still standing dangerously close to me. It was the same surge of energy I felt when I was with him and my client last night. How was it that after nearly thirty years of vacancy, my emotions were beginning to open up and all because of two men; one I have seen, the other still mysterious and secret.
    “Keep this with you in case it starts again.”
    I felt drained as if my body had just run a marathon in a sprint. The new things that were taking place inside of me did something that I also wasn’t used to.
    Being overwhelmed.
    I watched Andris take a drink out of the coffee cup that sat on his desk before setting it down and reaching for a pen. He flipped open my folder and jotted down a few notes, all the while I was trying to bring my body back down to a level that wasn’t threatening to make me explode from the inside out.
    “So pleasure, you feel. Pleasure, you understand,” he stated just before leaning in and whispering like we were accompanied by other people in the room.
    “Is this why you do what you do? Is that why you are an escort?”
    “Yes.”
    “I see.” He seemed taken aback by my answer, an almost angry look in his eyes. “I have homework for you for our next session.”
    “What? I’m back in high school now?” I asked.
    “It is to help you, Nicola. That way you don’t have to sell your body in order to feel things.”
    “There is nothing wrong with what I do.”
    “Other people beg to differ.”
    “Well, I don’t care what others think.”
    He took a long breath, running his hands through both sides of his hair, leaving a messy, disheveled look in the wake of his actions.
    “I want you to keep a journal. Expressive writing can be beneficial in helping to stretch your ability to detect emotions. You need to do it every day, but write beyond just the events of the day. Include observations, things that you think you are feeling, even if you aren’t sure. It may be hard at first, but the overall goal is to broaden your observations within and outside of yourself.”
    He opened a drawer to his left and pulled out something wrapped in white tissue paper. Peeling it back, he revealed a beautiful leather bound journal. Reaching over, he handed it to me and I ran my hands along the smooth surface of the leather.
    “Use this.”
    I opened the pages to find them stark white, something ironic since on the inside, I was black. Vacant.
    “You don’t have to be a whore, Nicola. You can do this on your own, and I want to help you do it.”
    A stabbing pain hit me in the chest and gut and the journal fell from my hands and landed with a thump onto the dark hardwood of the floor. My breath temporarily left me in a rush as if I had been sucker punched, and as quickly as it appeared, it left me. Bending over, I reached for the journal and my purse before standing to my feet.
    What the hell was that? My blood felt like it was boiling in my veins, like a caldron sitting upon a fire. I didn’t say anything to Andris as I made my way over to his office door, afraid of the things that were happening to me. My legs wobbled slightly as I walked and I just prayed I had made it out the door before they gave way from underneath me.
    “Nicola?”
    I stopped in my tracks, my hand poised on the door knob, but I didn’t turn around to look at him.
    “In here, I am Dr. Andris Gunn.”
    I spun around and looked at him as I clutched the journal to my chest, like I was trying to hide behind it.
    “And you are Nicola Forbes. That doesn’t change. But out there?” He said, pointing to the window of his office and my gaze followed to where the sun was shining brightly outside.
    “Out there, I am Sinclaire and you are Jericho.”
    I didn’t say anything. Instead, I turned around and walked out of his