useful, it would be a cinch.
I reached for the bottles once more and one of them fell to my lap.
"I'll let you get that," she stuttered.
Control yourself, Merrick.
Didn't help that I was almost completely naked in front of this woman. It also didn't help that her voice made it harder and harder to suppress my erection. No pun intended.
"Would you mind if I stayed in the bathroom while you showered? I want to be close by in case you need me this time," she declared, casually. Her tone was very clinical and I wondered how many people she had done this for already.
I nodded my permission and she turned the water back on. It was when I felt her step around me that I realized I was actually scared to do this alone. I wanted her close by, but no way I was going to admit that and scare her away. I settled for teasing instead. "You just want to make sure I get clean enough, don't you?"
She chuckled and her hand landed on my bare shoulder. "You caught me. I don't trust you enough to get rid of that awful stench without some kind of supervision."
I dropped my head and felt a full on smile stretch across my lips. My first full smile since that awful day. My cheeks ached. Seriously? Had it been that long since those muscles were used? Since I smiled enough to stretch them?
"That right there," Grace whispered. "That's the Merrick I like to see. He's very handsome."
Heat spread up my neck to my face, but I was still smiling. Strange since I knew she was lying out her ass.
"And he blushes, too? Careful, Merrick. You might make people fall for you."
With that, she exited the shower and shut the door tightly. The squeak of her shoes on the bathroom floor was the last thing I heard before I bathed myself for the first time in months.
Chapter Five
Grace
Why did I say that?
Why in the world did I even think that was appropriate to say?
"You might make people fall for you."
It was unprofessional, and it was foolish ... and it embarrassed Merrick. I was sure of it. He was in no position to be on the other end of my flirting, but it came so naturally. Flirting was never my strong point, but being with Merrick, it was more natural than it ever was with Jason, and I wasn't sleeping with Merrick. In fact, I was barely his friend. We argued more than anything and the times we weren't arguing, we weren't speaking.
Why, then, did I feel closer to him than I ever had to anyone else?
That first week was difficult with his constant grumbling and arguments. He refused to try anything new and refused to practice any sort of patience with me or himself. After a few days, it reached the point where quitting would have been a definite possibility and completely justified. I hadn't been able to get through to him and he didn't care if anyone did.
It was clear as day. Merrick didn't want to be fixed because in his mind, it just wasn't possible.
Then he opened up. What started as a minor argument – almost an insult to me – became something else entirely, whether it was intentional or not. We'd both experienced a horrible loss. It was a connection he didn't know we had and it changed everything.
I didn't pretend to understand the horrors he'd seen or the shit he'd been through, but I could connect to the feelings of loss that he dwelled on every day.
It had taken me months to finally be myself again. Even then, it wasn't real. Not until Mom said what she did and showed me that I was only hurting myself.
I didn't act as if I was all better, because I wasn't. I still hurt every day, but it was getting easier to handle. Easier to accept. Locking myself up with dark memories was not going to help me get what I wanted out of life.
The differences were vast when it came to Merrick and what had changed his life forever. I wasn't the one who saw my brothers fall all around me, and I hadn't experienced the kind of pain that leaves those deep scars, both physical and emotional.
I had never seen war so close, and I probably never would.
I reached for the bottles once more and one of them fell to my lap.
"I'll let you get that," she stuttered.
Control yourself, Merrick.
Didn't help that I was almost completely naked in front of this woman. It also didn't help that her voice made it harder and harder to suppress my erection. No pun intended.
"Would you mind if I stayed in the bathroom while you showered? I want to be close by in case you need me this time," she declared, casually. Her tone was very clinical and I wondered how many people she had done this for already.
I nodded my permission and she turned the water back on. It was when I felt her step around me that I realized I was actually scared to do this alone. I wanted her close by, but no way I was going to admit that and scare her away. I settled for teasing instead. "You just want to make sure I get clean enough, don't you?"
She chuckled and her hand landed on my bare shoulder. "You caught me. I don't trust you enough to get rid of that awful stench without some kind of supervision."
I dropped my head and felt a full on smile stretch across my lips. My first full smile since that awful day. My cheeks ached. Seriously? Had it been that long since those muscles were used? Since I smiled enough to stretch them?
"That right there," Grace whispered. "That's the Merrick I like to see. He's very handsome."
Heat spread up my neck to my face, but I was still smiling. Strange since I knew she was lying out her ass.
"And he blushes, too? Careful, Merrick. You might make people fall for you."
With that, she exited the shower and shut the door tightly. The squeak of her shoes on the bathroom floor was the last thing I heard before I bathed myself for the first time in months.
Chapter Five
Grace
Why did I say that?
Why in the world did I even think that was appropriate to say?
"You might make people fall for you."
It was unprofessional, and it was foolish ... and it embarrassed Merrick. I was sure of it. He was in no position to be on the other end of my flirting, but it came so naturally. Flirting was never my strong point, but being with Merrick, it was more natural than it ever was with Jason, and I wasn't sleeping with Merrick. In fact, I was barely his friend. We argued more than anything and the times we weren't arguing, we weren't speaking.
Why, then, did I feel closer to him than I ever had to anyone else?
That first week was difficult with his constant grumbling and arguments. He refused to try anything new and refused to practice any sort of patience with me or himself. After a few days, it reached the point where quitting would have been a definite possibility and completely justified. I hadn't been able to get through to him and he didn't care if anyone did.
It was clear as day. Merrick didn't want to be fixed because in his mind, it just wasn't possible.
Then he opened up. What started as a minor argument – almost an insult to me – became something else entirely, whether it was intentional or not. We'd both experienced a horrible loss. It was a connection he didn't know we had and it changed everything.
I didn't pretend to understand the horrors he'd seen or the shit he'd been through, but I could connect to the feelings of loss that he dwelled on every day.
It had taken me months to finally be myself again. Even then, it wasn't real. Not until Mom said what she did and showed me that I was only hurting myself.
I didn't act as if I was all better, because I wasn't. I still hurt every day, but it was getting easier to handle. Easier to accept. Locking myself up with dark memories was not going to help me get what I wanted out of life.
The differences were vast when it came to Merrick and what had changed his life forever. I wasn't the one who saw my brothers fall all around me, and I hadn't experienced the kind of pain that leaves those deep scars, both physical and emotional.
I had never seen war so close, and I probably never would.
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