head toward the trail. Damn I haven’t been down this here in years.
Growing up Alexis and I spent so much time down here. It was a nice escape from being under the microscope of the lives we were supposed to live. Private school. Only the best of the best. That was our life. Although we were under a microscope our parents were constantly supportive and pushed us to greatness. Life was good, Jamie made it better and then Emma solidified the meaning of life. Even after losing Jamie it was hard, but I eventually got through it and things got easier.
“Nicky,” Alexis starts to talk interrupting my thoughts. “There are things about her you need to know.” I stop walking and turn to her. “Listen don’t get me wrong I love her and think she’s a great person, but she hasn’t had the best life. Be careful with her Nicky. She’s strong so strong, but also scared. When you’re together for almost ten hours a day, Monday through Friday, you get to know people. I got to know Karly and she got dealt a bad hand.” Alexis wipes away a tear and I can’t help to wonder what’s going on. “Karly’s parents died and her dad beat the shit out of her for almost two years. One night he,” she sighs, taking a shuddering breath, “Took a piece of glass to her face Nicky. I mean he almost killed her.” Ah, the scars on her face. I didn’t think anything about it. “Her mom shot him and then killed herself. She had everything, but once the media spread the news about her family everyone left her and she had to start over.”
“How?” I didn’t want to sound arrogant, but without money how do you start over?
“She was left with a huge trust fund and their insurance policy.”
“Oh.” I walk away and feel my heart breaking. Holy shit. This girl’s been through fucking hell. “I don’t know what to say. Do I help her?”
“Oh Nicky don’t do it because you feel bad for her! That’s not why I told you. I told you because…”
“Stop Lex. I want to be there for her. She’s a great person and I think I’m gonna ask her about being Emma’s nanny tomorrow. I want her to be Emma’s nanny,” I shrug my shoulder, “I only want the best.”
“Sure.”
What’s going on? Yes of course I want the best for Emma, but I don’t know this girl or what she’s capable of. I never thought to be in this position with anyone. Maybe her as Emma’s nanny will be a good thing. Everyone’s working and Emma needs a little more stability in her life.
If I ask her to be Emma’s nanny that means I’ll see more of her and I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Thoughts of her eyes and smile fill my mind. I shake off any feelings I have for her. Karly seems like the type of girl who wants the epic love story. What exactly is love? I’m not capable of understanding or giving love. It doesn’t matter that I’m attracted to her I’ve closed myself off to women and need to focus on my job and Emma. She’s my number one. I can’t leave her to find my own happiness. Things with Jamie and I didn’t work out and Emma’s suffering without her parents together. She deserves more. My daughter will never feel pain ever again. I’ll protect her until the day I die, because she’s my world and there’ll never be anything to hurt her. As much as I want Karly, I need to think of Emma and what’s best for her. “Don’t worry about anything. I’m fine.” I know I’m being rude, but I’m not good talking about my feelings and all that bullshit.
“Nicky,” Alexis takes my hand, “I know you’re still hurt, but when are you gonna live? Jamie’s out doing whatever she wants so why can’t you? When one door closes another one opens. I know you just met her, but trust me she’s so sweet and a great person inside and out.”
I let her words sink in. She’s interesting and fun to be around. She can make me laugh and smile and forget about the everyday bullshit that life likes to bring. “I know,” is all I’m able to
Growing up Alexis and I spent so much time down here. It was a nice escape from being under the microscope of the lives we were supposed to live. Private school. Only the best of the best. That was our life. Although we were under a microscope our parents were constantly supportive and pushed us to greatness. Life was good, Jamie made it better and then Emma solidified the meaning of life. Even after losing Jamie it was hard, but I eventually got through it and things got easier.
“Nicky,” Alexis starts to talk interrupting my thoughts. “There are things about her you need to know.” I stop walking and turn to her. “Listen don’t get me wrong I love her and think she’s a great person, but she hasn’t had the best life. Be careful with her Nicky. She’s strong so strong, but also scared. When you’re together for almost ten hours a day, Monday through Friday, you get to know people. I got to know Karly and she got dealt a bad hand.” Alexis wipes away a tear and I can’t help to wonder what’s going on. “Karly’s parents died and her dad beat the shit out of her for almost two years. One night he,” she sighs, taking a shuddering breath, “Took a piece of glass to her face Nicky. I mean he almost killed her.” Ah, the scars on her face. I didn’t think anything about it. “Her mom shot him and then killed herself. She had everything, but once the media spread the news about her family everyone left her and she had to start over.”
“How?” I didn’t want to sound arrogant, but without money how do you start over?
“She was left with a huge trust fund and their insurance policy.”
“Oh.” I walk away and feel my heart breaking. Holy shit. This girl’s been through fucking hell. “I don’t know what to say. Do I help her?”
“Oh Nicky don’t do it because you feel bad for her! That’s not why I told you. I told you because…”
“Stop Lex. I want to be there for her. She’s a great person and I think I’m gonna ask her about being Emma’s nanny tomorrow. I want her to be Emma’s nanny,” I shrug my shoulder, “I only want the best.”
“Sure.”
What’s going on? Yes of course I want the best for Emma, but I don’t know this girl or what she’s capable of. I never thought to be in this position with anyone. Maybe her as Emma’s nanny will be a good thing. Everyone’s working and Emma needs a little more stability in her life.
If I ask her to be Emma’s nanny that means I’ll see more of her and I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Thoughts of her eyes and smile fill my mind. I shake off any feelings I have for her. Karly seems like the type of girl who wants the epic love story. What exactly is love? I’m not capable of understanding or giving love. It doesn’t matter that I’m attracted to her I’ve closed myself off to women and need to focus on my job and Emma. She’s my number one. I can’t leave her to find my own happiness. Things with Jamie and I didn’t work out and Emma’s suffering without her parents together. She deserves more. My daughter will never feel pain ever again. I’ll protect her until the day I die, because she’s my world and there’ll never be anything to hurt her. As much as I want Karly, I need to think of Emma and what’s best for her. “Don’t worry about anything. I’m fine.” I know I’m being rude, but I’m not good talking about my feelings and all that bullshit.
“Nicky,” Alexis takes my hand, “I know you’re still hurt, but when are you gonna live? Jamie’s out doing whatever she wants so why can’t you? When one door closes another one opens. I know you just met her, but trust me she’s so sweet and a great person inside and out.”
I let her words sink in. She’s interesting and fun to be around. She can make me laugh and smile and forget about the everyday bullshit that life likes to bring. “I know,” is all I’m able to
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