Read Online Victoria Confesses (9781442422469) by Carolyn Meyer - Free Book Online Page B

and for good reason. I’m sure they’ll send her away, just as they did Späth. I worry every night that I’ll awaken the next morning and find our dear Daisy packing her bags for Germany.”
    â€œI must confess that it has been to my great benefit, and surely my children’s, that Späth was dismissed,” Fidi said. “She came to me straightaway, and I don’t know what I would do without her! My children adore her. But for your sake, we must do everything we can to keep Lehzen with you.”
    â€œBut what can be done?” I asked anxiously.
    â€œI don’t know,” she admitted. “But I’ll try to think of something.” Just then Fidi happened to glance over her shoulder and observed Lady Flora and another lady trotting behind us in an open carriage and closing the gap. “Speak of the devil,” she said, “and she doth appear.”
    Fidi urged her horse into a gallop, and I followed, laughing immoderately.

    Soon after the arrival of my sister and her family, we all set out for Windsor to attend the Ascot races. King William andQueen Adelaide were warmly attentive to me and to Feodore. “I’ve been hearing about your precious little ones,” said dear Aunt Adelaide to Fidi. “I do so look forward to meeting them.”
    Fidi assured the poor queen, whose own babies had died in the cradle, that she would bring little Carl and darling Elise to visit her. The loss of a child happened so very often, and it always brought heartbreak. Just two months earlier we had mourned the loss of the first-born of my uncle Leopold and his wife, Queen Louise. Little Louis-Philippe—his parents called him Babychou—had died in May before reaching his first birthday.
    Queen Adelaide behaved graciously to Mamma, despite Mamma’s rude conduct during my cousins’ visit the previous summer. Uncle William ignored her. None of les bâtards were in evidence, and so Mamma was not encouraged to make one of her embarrassing exits.
    In a caravan of nine open carriages we drove to Ascot and down the racecourse to the royal box, waving greetings to all those who craned for a look at us. King William later offered to make what he called “a friendly little wager” with me on the winner of the Gold Cup, the most important of the races. The stakes were high—one of my ponies for one of his. I had no idea which horse to bet on, but I did like the look of a stallion named Glencoe and placed my bet on him. When Glencoe took the cup, I discovered that I had won the king’s beautiful little chestnut mare, named Taglioni for the dancer. I was VERY MUCH AMUSED!
    We returned to Kensington. I contrived to spend every possible moment with Fidi. She and Lehzen and I often went out riding together, and it was so much like the old days when Fidiwas living here that I often felt VERY sad, missing what I no longer had.
    â€œIt’s a mistake to yearn for what is past,” Fidi warned me.
    I felt my eyes filling with tears. “Is that what you did?”
    â€œYes, for a short time. Then I started to realize that I was married to a man who cares deeply for me. And when the children began to arrive, I realized that I care deeply for Ernst as well. And I regret nothing.” She hesitated, gazing at me thoughtfully. “Have they begun speaking about a future husband for you?” she asked. I shook my head. “No? Well, they’re certainly thinking about it, I promise you. Rumors have been flying since the day you were born. It’s a favorite topic of newspaper writers.”
    â€œI’m not allowed to see any newspapers.”
    â€œI know. And you’re just fifteen, so there’s still time. Of course, it’s better if you make the choice yourself, rather than having it made for you. I worry about that, for Sir John seems determined to make every decision for you. In three years you’ll be of age, and you won’t