She shouldn’t have given up so easily.
“That’s why you kept calling?”
“Yes.”
My anger starts to deflate, but is still very much present. “It wasn’t because you wanted me back?”
“No … I mean, I did, but I accepted you didn’t want me. I just wanted you to know about your son.”
I snort. Didn’t want her. If only she knew how wrong that was … is … was. I’m so confused right now.
“Dylan?”
“Yes, Dylan James Thorn.”
“James?” My middle name as well as her birth father’s name.
“Yes.”
Something about knowing that I’m represented in his name causes the rest of the anger to fall away. I’m still upset, but I’ve had nine months to process, to accept. I honestly wasted those months. I should have gone straight to her, but she was married and Dylan was happy. Even though, at first, I wanted to rip him away from her, I couldn’t do that. My siblings and mother made sure I didn’t do anything rash or stupid. I step out on my back porch and stare at the treehouse in the backyard of Shayla’s old home. A couple of kids, a boy and girl were playing, screaming, and chasing each other. They remind me of a more innocent time.
“The treehouse?” I ask, as the memory of us hits me.
“What?”
“It had to have been in the treehouse. That was the first time.”
“Yeah, I mean, there was only twice, but I figured the first. The math works.”
“Sorry I yelled.”
“Don’t be. I deserve it.”
I shake my head. She’s always taken the blame, even when we were kids. “Don’t do that. We’re both at fault. It’s overwhelming.” We’re both silent as the minute’s tick by. It’s uncomfortable at best. When I can’t take it anymore, I ask, “Does he know about me?”
“Yes. Gale sent me a yearbook so I could show him a picture. It’s black and white, but it’s all I have.”
I nod. We had tons of pictures, but they’re all at my mom’s.
“I want to talk to him.”
“Okay, let me talk to him and I’ll see what he wants to do.”
I snort, anger flaring again. “How about you let me talk to my son, because I have that right. You didn’t list me as the father, but I have blood right to him. I’m sure any judge would agree.”
“You’ll not take my son from me,” she snarls.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to get to know my child. You took what wasn’t just yours.”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t talk to him. I said I’d let him decide. He’s not a child. He’s fourteen.”
A knock on my car window startles me out of my thoughts. I was so horrible to Shay. I don’t know how she forgave me, but by the next phone call, I’d calmed down and we talked. She told me about her divorce and moving home. I decided to wait to talk to Dylan. I wanted to be sure I was calm. I didn’t want him to hate me if I was caught off guard and said something out of anger. I look up at my knocker and smile.
“Son, what are you doing?”
“You’ve been sitting in the car for over thirty minutes. I thought you were practicing with us today. The guys are getting restless. He pointed back to the field.”
“Sorry. Just thinking. Actually, I have to head to the station; I just stopped by to check on you. Is Matthews not here?”
“No, he’s here. He just thought you needed something. I’m still okay to ride with Ty, right?”
“Yeah, yeah. I told your mom. She said dinner’s at six.”
“Okay. I’ll be back. Practice is over at four.”
“Good. I’ll come to Monday’s practice. I have some paperwork to finish so I better get going.”
He nods. “You sure you’re okay? Mom’s okay?”
I smile. “We’re both fine, buddy. I’m just a little distracted, that’s all.”
“Okay. I’ll see you at home then.”
I nod, smiling, before backing out of the parking spot and heading to the station. I still can’t believe that I’m where I am now, my son in my life, Shay in my life again. I hate myself for not getting my act together sooner, but
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