Read Online User Unfriendly by Vivian Vande Velde - Free Book Online Page B

dungeon," I said. "We walked into this one cell, and there was nothing there."
    "Nothing," Robin repeated for emphasis.
    I paused to let that sink in.
    Feordin looked from me, to Robin, to Cornelius.
    "Nothing," Robin said yet again.
    Cornelius shrugged. "Some kind of ... optical illusion—"
    "No," Robin and I chorused.
    "Or a spell—"
    "No." We got it in unison again.
    "Or a..." Obviously Cornelius couldn't think of any other explanation.
    "Hole," I suggested.
    "Hole," Robin said.
    Cornelius sighed.
    "You're missing a level," Robin told him. "You copied the program and you missed a whole stinking level. We're stuck here for what's going to feel like five days, and there's nonplayer characters looping, and gaping holes in the program, and ... and who knows what will go wrong next." He threw his arms up in disgust.
    "Shhh, keep it down," I warned, Thea's anxious face reminding me that we were in hostile territory. "1 don't think it's
that
bad."
    Robin gave this highly betrayed, I-can't-believe-you're-on-his-side glare.
    "Listen. How did we end up in that dungeon? Inept playing." Now they all looked ticked-off at me. "I mean, think about it: we were captured because we didn't fight off the ambush well enough—"
    "Well, excuse me," Marian cut in.
    I ignored her. I was already saying "we" to be polite. What more did she want? "Why didn't we fight off the ambush? Well, for one thing, we declared ourselves to be at much higher experience levels than we really are."
    "
That
—" Cornelius started.
    "And secondly," I talked over his objection, "we were short two players because we inadvertently got them looping."
    "Does all this have a point?" Robin asked me. Boy, he was OK alone, but get him near Marian and he turned into a real pain.
    "The point is, in normal circumstances we wouldn't even be here. There was nothing in that cell because Rasmussem didn't think we'd even see the fortress, much less go exploring in the lower levels. If—
if
—this were a regulation game"—I paused to let that sink in—"there'd have been someone monitoring, someone who would have switched us over to some subroutine."
    It took a moment for that to settle. Then Marian said, "But we are on our own, children." Tenth-graders. But she was right.
    We all looked at Cornelius. "Oops," he said. Then he grinned. "But think of all the money you saved."
    Everyone groaned.
    "Come on, let's get out of here," Thea said. "Before those creeps find us and drag us all in there and we all get to spend four days doing nothing."
    "What about," Feordin said, "my mace?"
    What was this, Riddle Time? "Ahh, I don't know," I said. "What about your mace?"
    Feordin gave me a dirty look. "I was using it back there, during the battle where we stopped for lunch. I killed three of our attackers, and then one of the miserable dogs knocked it out of my hand."
    "One of the ones you'd killed?" I asked.
    "Funny, Harek. For someone who wasn't even there. Where were you, by the way?" He gave me about half a second. "Never mind, tell me later. Anyway, we had to make a temporary retreat. Then, when we came back, my mace was gone. One of those louts must have taken it." He nodded toward the bandits' fortress. "It's got to be here."
    We all gave each other anxious looks.
    "We're not going back in there, Feordin," I said. "For all we know, that part of the program may dissolve while we're in there." All around me, our companions nodded.
    "That's my mace," Feordin cried.
    "Yes," I said.
    "Don't you remember my name?"
    "Ahh—"
    "I'm Feordin Macewielder—"
    "Yes, but—"
    "—son of Feordan Sturdyaxe"—Oh, no, he'd gone and started—"grandson of Feordane Boldheart, brother to Feordone the Fearless, great-grandson of Feordine Stoutarm who served under Graggaman Maximus."
    "Yes," I said, "but—"
    "Feordin
Mace
wielder," he repeated.
Not again,
I thought, but he left it at that. "
Mace
wielder. I'm Feordin Macewielder, and now I don't have a mace."
    "Well," I said hopefully, "maybe you can get