I continued to walk, I passed by a
phone and suddenly had an idea.
My pace had quickened and my adrenaline rushed as I approached a
flight agent behind the desk.
"Excuse me please," I said with urgency, desperately
hoping she could speak English. "Do you by chance know how much it costs
to make a phone call to this number?"
I handed her the purple card so she could read it herself, as I
wasn't quite sure how to pronounce his home town.
She handed it back to me along with a coin, and said, "Here,
just use this,"
It was German currency and I thanked her profusely and attempted
to pay her the exchange.
She
smiled and refused and I smiled right back and hurried to make my call.
The phone rang once. Then twice. After the third ring I heard a
click and an answering machine went on. As I listened to the voice that was
unfamiliar and foreign, it was hard to determine if it was him. After all, I
had only known him a short time. Maybe it was a roommate. I wasn't even sure
if he lived alone. Too many unknown variables. But the real problem was, the
message on the machine was spoken in German language. Something I had never
even anticipated. As I tried to detect if the voice was his, I knew that I had
to think quickly. There was nothing to lose if it wasn't him and at the moment
I saw no other options. The message finished, I heard the beep and I took the
opportunity to speak.
"Hi, Tristan, or should I say I hope this is you. If it
isn't, please give him this message and if it is, well it is high time you
leave your answering machine message in English," I said playfully.
"I'll give you one guess who this is. If you can't already tell from my
American accent, I left you in Indonesia yesterday and will hopefully see you
sometime in New York. But you'll never guess where I am now. Believe it or
not, I'm in Frankfurt. Yes, it was a surprise to me too. Anyway, my plane is
boarding so I really must run but I would love to speak to you soon. If you
call me at work I can easily call you back as I realize it's a long distance
call. 'Hope the rest of your stay in Bali was great. By the way, what does
your message actually say? Talk to you soon. Bye-Bye."
My heart raced as I hung up the phone because I knew I had taken
the initiative. But I also knew that the point still remained that Tristan had
met me with Jordan. I knew Tristan cared, but because of Jordan, when he went
home, he may have thought better of it. So I took the risk of being rejected
but I knew that it was my place to do it.
CHAPTER THREE
********
New York greeted me warmly. The night I returned my family came
to visit as I filled them in on my journeys. After they left I heard from Jordan
who had also arrived that day. It was good to hear from him despite my
confusion and we planned to get together the next day.
When I saw Jordan's face the following day, I was pulled in a
million directions. It had finally become clear, definitively clear. The passion
I needed and desperately longed for was something we just didn't share. But it
was extraordinary. I still couldn't let go of him. Not yet. I knew it was
fear of being alone or fear of having failed on my part. I questioned myself
again and again, and asked if I had actually tried hard enough. But then I
told myself that it shouldn't have to be such hard work. Yet, I cared for him
in a special way and that made it difficult too. Either way, I still wasn't
ready to give up. I knew in my heart that I already had but somehow I still
had to try.
We had looked through our pictures from our entire trip and
enjoyed them together with pride. We had both photographed well with some
decent results and captured a lot on film. Jordan hadn't raised the subject of
Christmas since we had both returned from Southeast Asia. I wondered if he
thought that I decided not to go, but it was suddenly clear that he hadn't.
"So what do you
phone and suddenly had an idea.
My pace had quickened and my adrenaline rushed as I approached a
flight agent behind the desk.
"Excuse me please," I said with urgency, desperately
hoping she could speak English. "Do you by chance know how much it costs
to make a phone call to this number?"
I handed her the purple card so she could read it herself, as I
wasn't quite sure how to pronounce his home town.
She handed it back to me along with a coin, and said, "Here,
just use this,"
It was German currency and I thanked her profusely and attempted
to pay her the exchange.
She
smiled and refused and I smiled right back and hurried to make my call.
The phone rang once. Then twice. After the third ring I heard a
click and an answering machine went on. As I listened to the voice that was
unfamiliar and foreign, it was hard to determine if it was him. After all, I
had only known him a short time. Maybe it was a roommate. I wasn't even sure
if he lived alone. Too many unknown variables. But the real problem was, the
message on the machine was spoken in German language. Something I had never
even anticipated. As I tried to detect if the voice was his, I knew that I had
to think quickly. There was nothing to lose if it wasn't him and at the moment
I saw no other options. The message finished, I heard the beep and I took the
opportunity to speak.
"Hi, Tristan, or should I say I hope this is you. If it
isn't, please give him this message and if it is, well it is high time you
leave your answering machine message in English," I said playfully.
"I'll give you one guess who this is. If you can't already tell from my
American accent, I left you in Indonesia yesterday and will hopefully see you
sometime in New York. But you'll never guess where I am now. Believe it or
not, I'm in Frankfurt. Yes, it was a surprise to me too. Anyway, my plane is
boarding so I really must run but I would love to speak to you soon. If you
call me at work I can easily call you back as I realize it's a long distance
call. 'Hope the rest of your stay in Bali was great. By the way, what does
your message actually say? Talk to you soon. Bye-Bye."
My heart raced as I hung up the phone because I knew I had taken
the initiative. But I also knew that the point still remained that Tristan had
met me with Jordan. I knew Tristan cared, but because of Jordan, when he went
home, he may have thought better of it. So I took the risk of being rejected
but I knew that it was my place to do it.
CHAPTER THREE
********
New York greeted me warmly. The night I returned my family came
to visit as I filled them in on my journeys. After they left I heard from Jordan
who had also arrived that day. It was good to hear from him despite my
confusion and we planned to get together the next day.
When I saw Jordan's face the following day, I was pulled in a
million directions. It had finally become clear, definitively clear. The passion
I needed and desperately longed for was something we just didn't share. But it
was extraordinary. I still couldn't let go of him. Not yet. I knew it was
fear of being alone or fear of having failed on my part. I questioned myself
again and again, and asked if I had actually tried hard enough. But then I
told myself that it shouldn't have to be such hard work. Yet, I cared for him
in a special way and that made it difficult too. Either way, I still wasn't
ready to give up. I knew in my heart that I already had but somehow I still
had to try.
We had looked through our pictures from our entire trip and
enjoyed them together with pride. We had both photographed well with some
decent results and captured a lot on film. Jordan hadn't raised the subject of
Christmas since we had both returned from Southeast Asia. I wondered if he
thought that I decided not to go, but it was suddenly clear that he hadn't.
"So what do you
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