Read Online Undead and Unwary by MaryJanice Davidson - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: MaryJanice Davidson
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escapes me—ah! Helping the Antichrist run Hell.”
“That’s it. I’m out.” I sat bolt upright like Frankenstein’s monster coming alive on the table and started to swing my legs over the side. “I don’t have time to have this—unnff!”
Sinclair, the sneaky bastard, had snaked an arm around my waist and yanked me back before I could flee. “Stop wriggling. Are you frightened because you feel you must do this alone?”
No, I’m frightened because it’s fucking absurd I’m faced with this at all . Have any of you met me ? This whole thing was ridiculous from inception. I glared at the wall, since he had now spooned behind me and my glare of hate couldn’t reach him. Too bad my glares of hate didn’t ricochet. “I’m not frightened. Not exactly. Jeez. It’s not like that.”
“Because you know I stand ready to assist you in this, as in all things.”
I’ll bet .
I loved my husband, all right? I had killed and died for him. But he was not the king of the vampires by accident. He had grown up poor and loved, and he’d started over after he asked Tina to kill him. He never wasted an opportunity and he never backed off; he was like a pit bull, he never dropped a bite.
Sinclair did want to help me, I knew that. But he also wanted to get his fingers into the smoking hot Hell pie. (Oh God. Terrible metaphor.) And there was a good chance he would give in to his dark side, his Fred Flintstone side, and try and take over the place. All the while determining it was for my own good and that he was doing it for love.
And he wouldhave been. But. This was a man who forbade me to work. Before we were married. When I still loathed the sight of him. And then was mystified when I laughed my ass off. He was as modern a monarch as he knew how to be, but that didn’t mean we both didn’t still have some growing to do.
And something else—when did I turn into the mature, farseeing one? I didn’t approve of any of this.
“I know you want to help,” I said carefully, “but this is for Laura and me to figure out.”
“Ah.” He stayed relaxed behind me and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. At least he wasn’t hocking loogies into my hair. “And will you?”
“What?”
“Figure it out.”
“The minute I find out what’s wrong with Jessica and also plan Tina’s surprise party.”
He laughed. Sinclair didn’t do the ha-ha laugh thing. It was more like a deep chuckle that rumbled through his chest. You felt it more than you heard it. “Oh, a surprise party, now? Yes, that will certainly eat up still more of your time.”
I elbowed his arm off me and flopped over on my back and let his last comment go. “Something’s wrong, and I couldn’t get Jessica to tell me. And then she left again on another fake errand.”
“Jessica has many errands, none of them fake so far as I know. She keeps a close eye on her business,” he said approvingly. “I would have offered her some investment advice, except I have the niggling sensation that she may have more money than I. But if you were concerned, why didn’t you stop her?”
“Her bed ate me. And then you did.”
He shuddered. “I cannot imagine the crippling back pain they must awaken with.”
“Knock it off, farmer boy. We didn’t all grow up sleeping on two-by-fours.”
“Nor did I, but back support is a must.”
“It really isn’t, and come on! You could sleep on a bed of nails and wake up refreshed and ready to bang, and can we get back to my thing now?”
“You can only avoid this for so long.”
“That’s not the thing I wanted to get back to. And yeah. I know,” I replied glumly.
“At the risk of boring you with observations I have repeatedly shared with you—”
“Oh boy. Really hate when you start sentences with that.”
“—the longer you avoid your responsibilities, the more difficult it will be to perform them.”
“I know .” I did. But it was so hard to wrap my brain around. Five years ago I’d been an
“That’s it. I’m out.” I sat bolt upright like Frankenstein’s monster coming alive on the table and started to swing my legs over the side. “I don’t have time to have this—unnff!”
Sinclair, the sneaky bastard, had snaked an arm around my waist and yanked me back before I could flee. “Stop wriggling. Are you frightened because you feel you must do this alone?”
No, I’m frightened because it’s fucking absurd I’m faced with this at all . Have any of you met me ? This whole thing was ridiculous from inception. I glared at the wall, since he had now spooned behind me and my glare of hate couldn’t reach him. Too bad my glares of hate didn’t ricochet. “I’m not frightened. Not exactly. Jeez. It’s not like that.”
“Because you know I stand ready to assist you in this, as in all things.”
I’ll bet .
I loved my husband, all right? I had killed and died for him. But he was not the king of the vampires by accident. He had grown up poor and loved, and he’d started over after he asked Tina to kill him. He never wasted an opportunity and he never backed off; he was like a pit bull, he never dropped a bite.
Sinclair did want to help me, I knew that. But he also wanted to get his fingers into the smoking hot Hell pie. (Oh God. Terrible metaphor.) And there was a good chance he would give in to his dark side, his Fred Flintstone side, and try and take over the place. All the while determining it was for my own good and that he was doing it for love.
And he wouldhave been. But. This was a man who forbade me to work. Before we were married. When I still loathed the sight of him. And then was mystified when I laughed my ass off. He was as modern a monarch as he knew how to be, but that didn’t mean we both didn’t still have some growing to do.
And something else—when did I turn into the mature, farseeing one? I didn’t approve of any of this.
“I know you want to help,” I said carefully, “but this is for Laura and me to figure out.”
“Ah.” He stayed relaxed behind me and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. At least he wasn’t hocking loogies into my hair. “And will you?”
“What?”
“Figure it out.”
“The minute I find out what’s wrong with Jessica and also plan Tina’s surprise party.”
He laughed. Sinclair didn’t do the ha-ha laugh thing. It was more like a deep chuckle that rumbled through his chest. You felt it more than you heard it. “Oh, a surprise party, now? Yes, that will certainly eat up still more of your time.”
I elbowed his arm off me and flopped over on my back and let his last comment go. “Something’s wrong, and I couldn’t get Jessica to tell me. And then she left again on another fake errand.”
“Jessica has many errands, none of them fake so far as I know. She keeps a close eye on her business,” he said approvingly. “I would have offered her some investment advice, except I have the niggling sensation that she may have more money than I. But if you were concerned, why didn’t you stop her?”
“Her bed ate me. And then you did.”
He shuddered. “I cannot imagine the crippling back pain they must awaken with.”
“Knock it off, farmer boy. We didn’t all grow up sleeping on two-by-fours.”
“Nor did I, but back support is a must.”
“It really isn’t, and come on! You could sleep on a bed of nails and wake up refreshed and ready to bang, and can we get back to my thing now?”
“You can only avoid this for so long.”
“That’s not the thing I wanted to get back to. And yeah. I know,” I replied glumly.
“At the risk of boring you with observations I have repeatedly shared with you—”
“Oh boy. Really hate when you start sentences with that.”
“—the longer you avoid your responsibilities, the more difficult it will be to perform them.”
“I know .” I did. But it was so hard to wrap my brain around. Five years ago I’d been an
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