Unconditionally Single

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Authors: Mary B. Morrison
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Fog crept up the windows, obstructed my view.
    “By the time anybody finds your body, I’ll be—”
    “Dead,” I said. My eyes fixed on his. I had no idea where Valentino and Benito were, but I’d find them after I dealt with this confused fool, whoever he was. He was wasting my time.
    Slap! His laugh was hearty, like he was a comedian laughing at his own joke as his backhand landed against my cheek. He pressed the knife under my chin. The tip pricked my skin. I felt blood trickle down my neck, which felt weird, like a bug crawling on me. I wanted to knock that motherfucker upside his head with my gun, but he was too close.
    Lifting my chin away from the knife, seductively, I paced my words. “You remind me of a love I once knew. Would you like me to suck your dick first, then ride you real good?”
    He paused, smiled. His raspy voice was deeper than before. “That’s what I want to hear. I done lucked up and found me a whore. Call me Ken.”
    If Ken was schizophrenic, he could snap. Kill me without realizing what he’d done. I licked my lips. Leaned over his lap. “Ken baby,” I whispered like I was back at the brothel talking to one of my johns, “let mama suck your big juicy dick. And you can drop those balls in my mouth too, daddy. You can cum as many times as you’d like.” Leaning toward him, I moaned, deep, long, then exhaled into his mouth.
    Ken dropped his knife on the floor between his leg and the door. Both hands on the side of his pants, anxiously Ken wiggled out of his jeans with anticipation, eased his pants and boxers down to his knees. His dick was hard, gigantic like a twelve-inch dildo.
    “Oo-wee! I’m ready when you are,” he said, chuckling.
    Why was this motherfucker wasting my damn time? How many women had he taken advantage of? In three seconds, I released the child protective lock, put my hand on the passenger latch, opened my door, got out the car, then… slam! I closed the door.
    Ken scrambled to pull up his boxers and pants.
    I had to get to him before he got out of the van. Racing to the driver’s side, I drew my .45. Arms straight. Both hands on my piece. I pointed between his long dark lashes. I had six bullets left. Wouldn’t need but one.
    “Bat your eyes, motherfucker, and you’re dead.”
    His eyes widened. His head rattled.
    “Yeah, you don’t seem so bad right now. Get out the car, motherfucker. Get out!”
    Ken held up his pants as he scrambled from the car. “You are a cop. You lied to me. Don’t shoot me. I’m on the list. I’m unarmed,” Ken said, holding up his hands. His pants and boxers fell, stopping at his calves. “I wasn’t going to hurt you. I just wanted to have a little fun. That’s all. I really am pre-op. I’m on the list for a sex change operation.” He looked at his dick and continued, “This old thing here is harmless. I just wanted to give him a farewell blow job.”
    “Liar. Shut the fuck up. You are a disgrace to women, men, transsexuals, your mama, everybody. Turn around, bend over, and hold your ankles.”
    He didn’t move. Ken stared at me like I’d done to him earlier.
    Click! I eased back the trigger.
    Ken jumped backward. “That’s what I get for trying to help you. Bitch, walk home.”
    Softly, I said, “Ken, call me a bitch again. I dare you. Let’s see how crazy you really are.” I paused, then said, “I’ma tell you one last time. Turn around, bend over, and hold your ankles.”
    Ken’s ass and legs had long deep scratches. His upside down face turned red, and his large dark brown eyes stared up at me. His wig fell on top of a flat tombstone revealing his bald head, now flushed too. His dangling nuts were my target.
    “How does it feel, Ken?”
    “What are you going to do to me? I told you I’d give you a ride and I will. Forget sucking my dick. How about I just drop you off for free, suga?”
    That wasn’t funny but definitely reminded me of something Benito would say. “I asked you a question. How does it

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