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Authors: Michael Brunsfeld
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forces, come into play. The ball will travel farther, and over an unfamiliar arc; one scenario outlined by Mr. Brancazio shows that a fly ball struck with enough backspin will rise and do a loop-de-loop before proceeding into the outfield. More generally, Mr. Brancazio said, consider a batted ball that rises at an angle of 40 degrees, travels 385 feet—a deep drive if not a home run—and stays aloft for 5 seconds on Earth. On the moon the same ball will go 890 feet and stay in the air for 21.1 seconds.
“This raises interesting questions,” Mr. Brancazio said. “Where do you put the fences? And where do you position the outfielders? They can’t run any faster, but the ball will stay in the air long enough for them to possibly make a play. So you’ll have a situation where the batter can hit the ball, circle the bases and go into the dugout and watch to see if he’s scored.”
HE TAKES ALL THE CREDIT
“Robert Meier of Tampa, Florida, was accused of marrying his comatose girlfriend, Constance Sewell, hours before she died, then running up $20,000 on her credit cards. He told police he knew it was wrong, but the woman’s dog told him to do it. However, the investigator who searched the apartment said, ‘The dog was in the garage and didn’t say anything.’ ”
— Strange Days #2
The Arctic is classified as a desert…annual precipitation is less than 4 inches a year.
WILL’S WISECRACKS
Thoughts and observations from political humorist Will Durst.
“[George W. Bush] said there was no room in the Republican Party for racists. Boy, I knew there were a lot of them; I didn’t think all the slots were full.”
“The federal government announced it was worried about the long-term effects of medical marijuana on the terminally ill.”
“In America, we’ll give you the shirt off our back, as long as there’s the off chance we can trap you in a blind alley and strip you naked.”
“Colleges are banning alcohol on campus, sending the message to kids, ‘If you want to drink, get a car.’ ”
“Guns don’t kill people. It’s those darn bullets that put the holes in that the blood leaks out of way too quick.”
“If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.”
“I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.”
“Hillary Clinton made a hundred thousand on a thousand-dollar investment. Forget the New York senatorship—put her in charge of Social Security!”
“Patrick Buchanan doesn’t believe in evolution and some say he is his own best argument.”
“Racism is so stupid. There’s more than enough reasons to dislike people on an individual basis.”
“I’m all in favor of billionaires running for president instead of politicians. That way we eliminate the middlemen.”
“Jesse Ventura refereed a WCW event and caused an outcry. The wrestlers were afraid the appearance of a politician would cheapen the sport.”
“To me, Las Vegas is America, because there’s money everywhere, and none of it is yours.”
“If God has cable, we are the 24-hour doofus network.”
The game Simon Says was originally called Do This, Do That.
Q & A: ASK THE EXPERTS
Kids always ask their parents questions like “Why is the sky blue?” Uncle John asks the experts. Here are some of their answers.
J UST BLOW IT OFF
Q:
How does blowing on food cool it off?
A: “When you see steam rising from hot food, it’s because heat is coming out. The steam acts like a blanket that helps keep the heat in. The faster you blow the blanket of steam away, the faster the heat can leave the food, and the faster the food cools down.” (From
Why Does Popcorn Pop?,
by Catherine Ripley)
PERCHANCE TO DREAM
Q:
Do insects sleep?
A: “Let’s put it this way. They get quiet and curl up and look like they’re sleeping. But what’s really going on inside those molecule-sized brains nobody knows.
“The one sure way to know if an animal is sleeping is to hook it up to a machine that measures
“This raises interesting questions,” Mr. Brancazio said. “Where do you put the fences? And where do you position the outfielders? They can’t run any faster, but the ball will stay in the air long enough for them to possibly make a play. So you’ll have a situation where the batter can hit the ball, circle the bases and go into the dugout and watch to see if he’s scored.”
HE TAKES ALL THE CREDIT
“Robert Meier of Tampa, Florida, was accused of marrying his comatose girlfriend, Constance Sewell, hours before she died, then running up $20,000 on her credit cards. He told police he knew it was wrong, but the woman’s dog told him to do it. However, the investigator who searched the apartment said, ‘The dog was in the garage and didn’t say anything.’ ”
— Strange Days #2
The Arctic is classified as a desert…annual precipitation is less than 4 inches a year.
WILL’S WISECRACKS
Thoughts and observations from political humorist Will Durst.
“[George W. Bush] said there was no room in the Republican Party for racists. Boy, I knew there were a lot of them; I didn’t think all the slots were full.”
“The federal government announced it was worried about the long-term effects of medical marijuana on the terminally ill.”
“In America, we’ll give you the shirt off our back, as long as there’s the off chance we can trap you in a blind alley and strip you naked.”
“Colleges are banning alcohol on campus, sending the message to kids, ‘If you want to drink, get a car.’ ”
“Guns don’t kill people. It’s those darn bullets that put the holes in that the blood leaks out of way too quick.”
“If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.”
“I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.”
“Hillary Clinton made a hundred thousand on a thousand-dollar investment. Forget the New York senatorship—put her in charge of Social Security!”
“Patrick Buchanan doesn’t believe in evolution and some say he is his own best argument.”
“Racism is so stupid. There’s more than enough reasons to dislike people on an individual basis.”
“I’m all in favor of billionaires running for president instead of politicians. That way we eliminate the middlemen.”
“Jesse Ventura refereed a WCW event and caused an outcry. The wrestlers were afraid the appearance of a politician would cheapen the sport.”
“To me, Las Vegas is America, because there’s money everywhere, and none of it is yours.”
“If God has cable, we are the 24-hour doofus network.”
The game Simon Says was originally called Do This, Do That.
Q & A: ASK THE EXPERTS
Kids always ask their parents questions like “Why is the sky blue?” Uncle John asks the experts. Here are some of their answers.
J UST BLOW IT OFF
Q:
How does blowing on food cool it off?
A: “When you see steam rising from hot food, it’s because heat is coming out. The steam acts like a blanket that helps keep the heat in. The faster you blow the blanket of steam away, the faster the heat can leave the food, and the faster the food cools down.” (From
Why Does Popcorn Pop?,
by Catherine Ripley)
PERCHANCE TO DREAM
Q:
Do insects sleep?
A: “Let’s put it this way. They get quiet and curl up and look like they’re sleeping. But what’s really going on inside those molecule-sized brains nobody knows.
“The one sure way to know if an animal is sleeping is to hook it up to a machine that measures
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