Read Online Unashamed by Emma Janson - Free Book Online Page B

pulling the bottom of my t-shirt, and, although I was covered, he knew I was panty-less. “Go put some pants on,” he demanded as he looked at me with disgust.
    My eyes tried to adjust to the lights from the hall, but they burned from secondhand smoke and smeared makeup. “I’m just having fun. Relax, Frankie. You should join us,” I invited and tried to pull him into the room despite his protest.
    “You are drunk.” He broke free from my grasp and rebalanced himself in the doorway as he crossed his arms.
    “I’m not that drunk. I know what I am doing and I want you, so let’s do it.” I didn’t want him, per se. I wanted to feel like someone desired me, and he was my only option.
    “I’m not going in. You know the door has been open this whole time?” He was right, but Rick had strategically placed his wall lockers just beyond the entrance so he could get some privacy should his roommate need to leave while he was changing. Sure, it was open, but unless you walked in and around the locker, you couldn’t see the shenanigans behind it.
    In slurred speech I asked him if he had been watching as I giggled and reiterated how bad I wanted sex.
    Truth was, I couldn’t handle his rejection, so I begged him a bit more before kissing him in the open doorway, caught between the light of the hallway and the darkness of the room. It was familiar and comforting. He pushed away and looked at me intently, even held my head still for a moment as he stared into my glazed eyes, almost romantically. It was the only time he ever looked into me and connected on a level beyond sex. The kiss was amazing, too; the passion behind it surprised me, and it allowed me to enjoy, for the first time, his thick smooth lips.
    I wish I knew what he was thinking in the second before he unzipped his pants and fucked me where we stood. Before there was time to be appalled, he finished and tucked himself back into his jeans. He turned and walked straight to his room, never looking back as he yelled, “Go to bed, Emma.”

 
     
     
     
    Chapter 5
     
     
    The Sunday afternoon light beamed through my window just as Annica’s lighter flicked two or three times. She inhaled, exhaled, and looked over to see my discomfort from the interruption of sleep. The sun peeked around my blinds, misting the room with a cheerful afternoon glow, yet, somehow, managing an intensified stream of light over my eye, searing it right through the eyelid. I struggled to shift my head on the pillow to capture an inch of shade. My attempt was unsuccessful.
    Annica hummed that infamous three-note wordless phrase: tsk-tsk-tsk. Almost everything that needs to be said about disappointment can be grunted or hummed in this way. It means “damn, dirty shame” or “no, you didn’t” without articulation. I looked over to her smoking in her twin bed without glasses, which had been slapped to the floor in an effort to find the pack of smokes and lighter on her nightstand.
    I grimaced in disgust, moaned, and threw the covers over my head. Annica repeated those little notes, accompanied by a synchronized headshake. This was one of the few times where she didn’t need to say anything to be loud and clear. She simply inhaled, then exhaled, and tsked me with squinted eyes. I knew what the fuck it meant.
    “I know! Shiiit!!” My voice, still scratchy and dry, popped as it tried to kickstart itself with the morning. I pulled the covers tighter over my head and faced the wall in shame. Annica laughed and puffed away until she was finished with the cigarette and lit a second one. She enjoyed it slowly as sleep overwhelmed me and carried me off into another dream. The plan for more people to lessen the chances of a guilty hookup was a bullshit strategy that worked about as well as a broken condom. Little attention was given to the rumors of an orgy in the barracks; in fact, I didn’t entertain the idea, I dismissed it all together when Steven and I talked of marriage. We just wanted