forced herself not to answer. Turning out of the dining room, she told herself she was just tired; that was why she was seeing things that weren’t there. She moved through the stone doorway, heading for the circular stairs in the middle of the compound that led to freedom.
No, not freedom. A miniscule respite from hell. Something Nick would never have.
The suite was dim when she stepped inside and closed the door at her back, the only illumination from the underwater window casting that blue-green shimmer of light across the floor. Her room was one of the larger ones in the compound. It had the same rock walls and ceiling as every other room, but it was softer, more feminine, and she knew Zagreus went to great lengths to keep her well pampered.
A plush white carpet lay across the stone floor; a king-size, distressed, white four-poster bed sat along one wall. Her sitting area was comprised of two oversize chairs and a long couch—also done in white—and along the opposite wall were her books. Books from all over the world. Stories of adventures and romance and mysteries she often read to unwind. Stories that took her away from this nightmare and gave her something else to think about. To dream about. To want.
But that was all they were. Stories. They weren’t real. There was no such thing as happily ever after. She knew that better than anyone.
Pushing away from the door, she crossed the floor and turned into her closet. Like the rest of her suite, it was grand, rows and rows of clothes Zagreus rewarded her with for good behavior. Half of which she’d never worn. More corsets and slutty skirts and foot-cramping stiletto boots? No, thank you.
After unzipping her current torture shoes, she tossed them aside, tugged off her skirt, and managed to unlace the air-constricting high-necked corset enough so she could shimmy out of it. She ripped off the thick bracelets she’d worn to cover the marks on her wrists, kicked it all aside, not caring where it landed, then moved into her bathroom.
She flipped on the water and stepped under the shower spray. Closing her eyes, she drew in a deep breath, then let it out again as the hot water pounded her skin. Aside from her books, this was the only pleasure she got in this place. But even that tiny bit of relief was dimmed when she thought of Nick again in the dungeons. He had no relief there, no chance for respite, not even an ounce of hope to get him through to the next day.
Bracing her hand against the rock wall, she opened her eyes as water cascaded down her face, dragging her makeup with it. Hope was a dangerous thing. Hope had brought her to Zagreus. Hope had convinced her to accept his deal. And hope was keeping her alive, day after miserable day, because it gave her something to think about other than how wretched her life had become.
But that hope was fading. Zagreus wasn’t going to live up to his end of their bargain. She’d seen it in his eyes last night when she’d asked him how things were going on his end. She’d felt it with every strike of that flogger. But mostly she sensed it in what was left of her heart. And the longer she stayed here…the longer she did what he commanded without taking a stand, the more of herself she was going to lose until she really was nothing but a cold, black ember like the wood in his fireplace.
This wasn’t who she was supposed to be. This wasn’t the woman her mother had raised. And if either of her parents could see her now…
She closed her eyes, dropped her head under the spray again, and pursed her lips to hold back the groan from working its way up her throat. She’d done all this for them. But they wouldn’t want this. They wouldn’t understand. And every minute she stood here, bending to Zagreus’s will, was another minute she moved further away from what was left of their memory.
“What we did yesterday doesn’t matter. It’s what we do today that determines who we are.”
Her mother’s voice rolled
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