Read Online Turtleface and Beyond by Arthur Bradford - Free Book Online Page A

the little plastic tube which held the all-powerful strip. I took it from her, trying to gauge the results by the look on her face. I couldn’t tell what was going on behind those pale eyes, though. I realized then, as I looked at her for an answer, that she really was crazy. By that I mean she wasn’t living in the same world as the rest of us. Something about her gaze suggested an irrational state of mind. And then, a minute later, I stood alone in an empty closet looking down at the strip of paper she had peed upon, and I saw the two red lines declaring she was pregnant with a child we had made together.
    I was terrified. I ran out of the closet and searched the hallways for Elsa. That crazy woman! We were going to have a crazy child! A nutcase baby! She was gone though, and people were staring at me running around like that. I left work early, without telling anyone, and I considered never going back.
    I returned to the hospital a few nights later though, and I had a talk with Elsa. She sat on the cement steps looking up at me with her wide, shaky eyes, smoking one cigarette after another.
    â€œI don’t think you should smoke now,” I told her.
    â€œIt calms my nerves,” she said.
    â€œIt’s bad for the baby.”
    â€œBabies don’t smoke,” she said, as if that somehow refuted the facts.
    I asked her if she would consider having an abortion.
    â€œNo. Never,” she said.
    I felt the blood rush from my head and had to sit down. I sat next to Elsa and put my head between my knees. I know they say it is a miracle, the act of creating life. I know they say it changes you forever, for the better, when you see your first child born into the world. But I felt only fear that night, fear and some kind of awful wrath unleashed upon me for the things I had done. I began to cry and Elsa rubbed my back with the heel of her hand. She hummed a song too, a strange song I’d never heard, and it made no sense at all.
    I wondered when the doctors would know about this. I wondered when I would get fired and if what I’d done was against the law and if so would I be put in jail. Over the next few weeks, as I watched Elsa walk around, I was sure I could see her belly growing. Other people must be noticing, I thought. I moped along thinking, When, finally, is the shit going to hit the fan?
    I had a strange moment though, when I was back in that drugstore. I walked by the shelf where I had picked up that little pregnancy test and I stared at all the different-colored boxes thinking how each one was a box full of fate. Next to the boxes was a row of plastic bottles and some of them were labeled “Prenatal Vitamins.” I grabbed one of those, stuffed it in my pocket, and left without paying.
    I gave the bottle to Elsa and told her to take one a day, like the directions said.
    â€œMore pills…” she said to me.
    â€œTake them,” I said. “And stop smoking.”
    It would be an exaggeration to say that I loved Elsa, a huge exaggeration, but I did feel affection for her. And on this day I felt responsibility too. It was a new feeling.
    It was during the night shift, a few days later, that I heard Elsa calling out my name. She wasn’t yelling, she was just repeating my name steadily and it echoed down the hallway.
    I ran to her room and saw that it was empty. She was in the bathroom down the hall. I tapped my fingers on the door.
    â€œIt’s me,” I said.
    â€œGo away,” she said.
    I stood outside the door for two hours. Other staff members came and looked at me and one of the nurses called security. I wasn’t supposed to be in the women’s wing at that hour. I wasn’t supposed to be standing outside the bathroom door like that, blocking the way, and not listening to anything anyone said.
    The security crew arrived and I stood my ground. They hauled me away and as they did Elsa came out of the bathroom, finally. Her face was white and drawn