Read Online Tuesday The Rabbi Saw Red by Harry Kemelman - Free Book Online Page A

I don’t feel as though I could,” he said. “So what have you been doing?”
    “So far, I’ve treated it as just another hour and given my regular lecture. Last week, as you know, I gave a quiz.”
    “I meant to ask you about that,” said Hendryx. “How many showed up?”
    “Only fifteen.”
    Hendryx chuckled. “Well, well, well. Only fifteen, eh? And for an hour exam? You handed back the books today? Tell me, how did your class react?”
    “That’s what bothers me,” confessed the rabbi. “Many of them seemed resentful and some appeared actually indignant, as though I had been unfair.”
    Hendryx nodded. “You know why they acted indignant. Rabbi? Because they were indignant, and they were indignant because you were unfair, at least according to their lights. You see, yours is traditionally a snap course, that’s why so many elected it. So why get yourself in a sweat. Rabbi, trying to change it? Why not do as the rest of us do and go along with things as they are?”
    “Because I’m a rabbi,” he said, and then added with obvious disparagement, “not a teacher.”
    Hendryx laughed uproariously in acknowledgment of the thrust. “But Rabbi. I thought that’s what a rabbi was. Isn’t that what the word means – teacher?”
    “Not that kind, a rabbi is one who is learned in the law by which we are expected to order our lives. His major traditional function is to judge, but he also expounds the law on occasion for the benefit of his congregation and community, the kind of teacher you have in mind, the kind that coaxes the young and immature to learn, a teacher of children – that’s something else. Him, we call a melamed, and the term has a derogatory connotation.”
    “Derogatory?”
    “That’s right. You see, since Jews have had practically one hundred percent literacy for centuries.” the rabbi said, enjoying this, “anyone can teach. Naturally., the social prestige or the financial reward for doing what everyone else can do is not great. So the melamedwas usually someone who had failed at everything else and finally had to fall back on teaching children to make a living.”
    “And you feel that by going easy with your class, you will be a melamedT Hendryx asked, interested in spite of himself. “Is that it?”
    “Oh, I’m not so much concerned about my status as I am about their attitude, we Jews expect to tease and coax children to learn, that’s why when a child starts school we give him cake and honey so he will associate learning with something sweet and desirable. But I don’t feel I should have to continue the treatment with adults. Of course, not all adults want to become scholars, but those who do and come to college should have an adult attitude toward instruction. I shouldn’t have to tease and coax them to learn.”
    “You don’t,” said Hendryx. “And neither do the rest of us, we give our lectures. Those who want to come, come; and those who don’t, stay away.”
    “And those who decide to stay away – do they pass?”
    “Well, of course –”
    “But that’s cheating!” he exclaimed.
    “I’m afraid I don’t follow you. Rabbi.”
    “Let me put it this way.” said David Small, searching for an analogy. “Traditionally, the way you become a rabbi is to present yourself to a rabbi for examination. If you pass his examination, he gives you what we call smicha, a seal of approval, ordination. Of course some rabbis were harder, more exacting, in their examination than others because they were themselves more subtle in their thinking and even more knowledgeable. But I expect they were all honest in their decisions, because in designating the candidate a rabbi they were certifying him capable of sitting in judgment throughout the Jewish world.
    “Now the degree granted here also has value and meaning throughout the world and the authority to grant it was conferred by the state, as I understand it, the college system calls for the candidate to accumulate credits toward