spinning around because you’re excited. Yeah, I was doing the OMG dance.
How can I respond to that? For once I didn’t over think it. I went with my heart and what I wanted to say. My hands were shaking as I typed back what I was feeling, throwing myself out there and hoping like hell he was going to catch me.
All in is proving to be the best damn decision I have made in a long time. I really like you Chad, even more- I want to be your girl. You terrify me and excite me at the same time and I don’t know what to say or do. I’m scared that it’s all a stage and before long you’ll move on to more experienced and desirable girls.
I had no choice but to wait for his reply, a reply that so far had taken fifty-three minutes almost fifty-four. I know this because I have looked at my sent screen on my phone a gazillion times, checking the time I sent it, re-reading it and yelling at myself for saying anything in the first place.
Why couldn’t I just be one of those go with the flow chicks? I had always been the type to get it all out and dealt with. I decided to blame Noah because had he not taught me to refrain from keeping things inside and bottled up safely away I wouldn’t be second guessing my fucking existence right now.
I wanted to call Candy and have her pull me from the ledge, but I was not touching that phone. Right now I had full service, all five bars in bright white on the screen of my phone. The volume was on and I wasn’t messing with a thing in case he responded to tell me I was becoming a clingy fangirl, or worse, tell me he wants to move on, I was fun and blah-fucking-blah.
I just wanted it to ring, anything. I glared at my iPhone with death in my eyes and waited…waited… waiting.
Nothing.
*
It was after one in the morning when I was pulled from blissful dreams of life pre-text disaster when my phone started chirping like crazy.
I looked at the screen and saw five missed calls and four texts, all from Chad.
Holy fuck !
I now dreaded those messages as much as I had anticipated them earlier. With no clue what to expect I checked the messages first. I started with the oldest one first. It had been sent just before midnight.
The night got slamming busy. A group of bikers came in all wanting commemorative pieces for a fallen friend. We had a waiting list like never before and I didn’t want to send some lame message in response to yours. Call me baby we need to talk- x
So…what? I didn’t know what to think so I read the next message.
Haven’t heard from you yet, and I am not above blowing up your phone. Call me- x
And the next…
I don’t know what I was thinking not hitting you a text back but I will never do it again baby. I just wanted to tell you… I feel the same.
Oh my God!
No kiss after this one and that was when the calls had started coming in. I checked, but only had one voicemail. Knowing it was him and desperate to hear his voice, I dialed my voicemail and waited.
“Carrie… I … fuck, Carrie. I feel exactly like you baby. I wanted to tell you this, but not over text or the phone. I wanted to come to you tonight and lay myself at your mercy, but I got slammed at the tat shop and just got home. I was not ignoring you, Carrie. I wanted it in person, but I’ll say it now. I want you, only you, and without question I will do whatever you want at any pace… call me baby…
The message ended and like the mushy gooey girl that I am I wiped wet tears from my cheeks and listened like a million more times before I read the last text he sent.
Just called Noah and he said you were asleep. So I will say this… I am sorry if you fell asleep thinking I didn’t care or that you weren’t enough. Baby you are everything and it scares the fuck out of me in the most unbelievably wicked way… yours most definitely- Chad x
I checked the time on that last message and it was seven minutes ago so I sat up and wiped my eyes and dialed his number.
“Hey…” He said that
How can I respond to that? For once I didn’t over think it. I went with my heart and what I wanted to say. My hands were shaking as I typed back what I was feeling, throwing myself out there and hoping like hell he was going to catch me.
All in is proving to be the best damn decision I have made in a long time. I really like you Chad, even more- I want to be your girl. You terrify me and excite me at the same time and I don’t know what to say or do. I’m scared that it’s all a stage and before long you’ll move on to more experienced and desirable girls.
I had no choice but to wait for his reply, a reply that so far had taken fifty-three minutes almost fifty-four. I know this because I have looked at my sent screen on my phone a gazillion times, checking the time I sent it, re-reading it and yelling at myself for saying anything in the first place.
Why couldn’t I just be one of those go with the flow chicks? I had always been the type to get it all out and dealt with. I decided to blame Noah because had he not taught me to refrain from keeping things inside and bottled up safely away I wouldn’t be second guessing my fucking existence right now.
I wanted to call Candy and have her pull me from the ledge, but I was not touching that phone. Right now I had full service, all five bars in bright white on the screen of my phone. The volume was on and I wasn’t messing with a thing in case he responded to tell me I was becoming a clingy fangirl, or worse, tell me he wants to move on, I was fun and blah-fucking-blah.
I just wanted it to ring, anything. I glared at my iPhone with death in my eyes and waited…waited… waiting.
Nothing.
*
It was after one in the morning when I was pulled from blissful dreams of life pre-text disaster when my phone started chirping like crazy.
I looked at the screen and saw five missed calls and four texts, all from Chad.
Holy fuck !
I now dreaded those messages as much as I had anticipated them earlier. With no clue what to expect I checked the messages first. I started with the oldest one first. It had been sent just before midnight.
The night got slamming busy. A group of bikers came in all wanting commemorative pieces for a fallen friend. We had a waiting list like never before and I didn’t want to send some lame message in response to yours. Call me baby we need to talk- x
So…what? I didn’t know what to think so I read the next message.
Haven’t heard from you yet, and I am not above blowing up your phone. Call me- x
And the next…
I don’t know what I was thinking not hitting you a text back but I will never do it again baby. I just wanted to tell you… I feel the same.
Oh my God!
No kiss after this one and that was when the calls had started coming in. I checked, but only had one voicemail. Knowing it was him and desperate to hear his voice, I dialed my voicemail and waited.
“Carrie… I … fuck, Carrie. I feel exactly like you baby. I wanted to tell you this, but not over text or the phone. I wanted to come to you tonight and lay myself at your mercy, but I got slammed at the tat shop and just got home. I was not ignoring you, Carrie. I wanted it in person, but I’ll say it now. I want you, only you, and without question I will do whatever you want at any pace… call me baby…
The message ended and like the mushy gooey girl that I am I wiped wet tears from my cheeks and listened like a million more times before I read the last text he sent.
Just called Noah and he said you were asleep. So I will say this… I am sorry if you fell asleep thinking I didn’t care or that you weren’t enough. Baby you are everything and it scares the fuck out of me in the most unbelievably wicked way… yours most definitely- Chad x
I checked the time on that last message and it was seven minutes ago so I sat up and wiped my eyes and dialed his number.
“Hey…” He said that
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