that doesn’t change what it is.” She smiles at me like a total b-word.
“Get out of my way,” I say, pushing past her. I briefly consider leaving the apartment, but it’s really hot outside and I’m exhausted. I wouldn’t make it a mile. So instead, I go to the bathroom.
“Where are you going?” Teagan asks, following Quin who’s following me.
I get inside the bathroom and slam the door shut, locking it before Quin can follow me in.
The door handle jiggles. “Open up,” Quin demands.
“Go to H-E-double-hockey-sticks!” I yell, sitting down on the closed toilet.
“She just cussed at me. Did you hear it?” Quin doesn’t sound very mad about that fact. In fact, I think I hear her giggling.
“Good for you, Alissa!” Teagan says, definitely happy. “Let it all out! Just say what you’re thinking!”
“I’m thinking you two need to get psychological help. Now leave me alone.” I sit on the toilet and stare at the wall in front of me. I have to open my legs a little so my belly can hang between them. I am the grossest girl on the entire planet, I’m sure of it.
“Actually, this is perfect,” Quin says, her voice coming easily through the thin door. “You go ahead and sit right there and we’ll do the talking.”
“I’m plugging my ears,” I say. “I won’t hear a word of it.” My fingers begin to rise, but just before they get to the sides of my head, Teagan speaks and I do hear it. My hands freeze in midair.
“Better not. You won’t want to miss this. Trust me.” Her words give me a chill. She is my landlord in a way, and if I make her angry enough, I don’t doubt that she’ll show me to the door. She’s a nice person, but she’s no saint. There’s a toughness to her that is undeniable. Maybe that’s how she was able to pick herself up and dust herself off after her father died and her stepmother put a knife in her back.
My hands lace themselves over my belly and I lean against the toilet tank while I listen to Teagan speak. Her tone is all very reasonable, even while her words cut me open.
“We guessed that you haven’t told the father of your baby that he got you pregnant. And since you’re the ultra-responsible type and totally uptight about everything, and your parents are religious wack-a-dongs, we figure you getting pregnant wasn’t exactly planned. Beyond that, we were thinking maybe it was more than that. You’re too sensitive about it. So some guy did you really wrong. Either you told him and he basically told you to eff off, or you’re too scared to tell him for another reason. Either way, you need to come out and face the music. The moving truck will be here in a few days and we need to know if your stuff is going to be on it or if you’re on your way out of here.”
I tap my finger on the toilet paper roll, slowly, slowly unraveling it. The first square hits the floor and then the second joins it, folding over on top and then flopping in another direction. The pile builds as my mind swirls and my finger keeps tapping, tapping, tapping.
Charlie. Charlie. Charlie . Charlie the golden boy. Charlie, the guy who could do no wrong. My future. My everything.
And now, my nightmare. Charlie .
How much have they guessed about him?
“Alissa!” Quin’s angry voice comes through the door next. “You’d better not have your stupid fingers in your ears, you pregnant …”
“Shhh, don’t say it.” Teagan is putting on the brakes. That’s a new one.
“I was just going to call her a …”
“Don’t. She’s freaking out. Just give her a minute.”
I almost want to stay in the bathroom so I can hear Teagan being the voice of reason some more. Being with Rebel has completely changed her as a person. She’s so much calmer. Wiser. I guess I can appreciate that. Being with Charlie has changed me. I’m not calmer,
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