ever told me he loved me.
“Boys, let’s get your stuff in your dad’s truck,” Christine said, walking toward the piles of luggage. “If I stay in here any longer, I’m going to stab your mom in the throat,” she mumbled so only I could hear her.
“Yeah Matt, let’s get the car packed. Christine and I have a long day and night of driving before our first stop,” I said, not wanting to be left alone with him.
I had no idea why I was so afraid to be alone with my husband, but I most certainly was. I was afraid of how I felt about him. But more importantly, I was afraid of how he didn’t feel about me.
After the truck was loaded and each boy ran back into the house for a charger or a forgotten iPod or to take “another wazz,” all the kids crammed into Matt’s truck and immediately started fighting and punching one another.
Christine was pretending to ignore us and grab something out of her van, but she was absolutely watching Matt’s every move and listening to his every word.
Grabbing my hand, Matt pulled me closer to him, until our bodies were only inches apart. Trapping my hand against his chest, I could feel the pound of his heart thudding against my hand. “Lou, listen to me, just say the word, tell me to stay, and I’ll stay. Tell me that you want to come with us, and Kevin can crawl in the back, and we can spend all summer in Michigan as a family—our family,” he pleaded, running his free hand through my hair. “Just say it—tell me you still want me—still want to be with me. Hell Lou, say the word, and I’ll even drop everything and make this trip to Vegas with you. Anything. Just say the word.”
“Make sure Evan takes his allergy medicine… and don’t let Kevin spend too much time on his phone,” I said, backing away from him and out of his reach.
“Angelisa please—”
“Oh and make sure they all get their sports physicals somewhere up in Michigan by the August 5 th deadline. They need to be done some time between June 30 th and August 5 th to count for this upcoming school year,” I reminded him, still stepping backward out of his reach.
Matt’s head dropped. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Looking back up at me, he nodded his head, and the corners of his mouth turned downward. “Okay Lou… okay.” He shook his head twice, looked at the boys in the car, and then back at me. “Okay then, you win. See you in August. It was nice to meet you, Christine. Take care of her this summer.”
Matt got into his truck, clicked on his seatbelt, and started the engine. He sat in the driveway for a few moments before he backed out and slowly drove away. I stood paralyzed in fear watching his car turn the corner at the end of our road—my road.
“Our” was gone.
It was only me.
Walking up behind me, Christine wrapped a single arm around me and said, “Where is the closest optometrist’s office?”
“About seven miles away,” I answered still staring at the empty street corner.
“Why? Do you need something there?”
“Because I think we need to stop there before we take this road trip. Otherwise, I’m not sure if I can let you drive,” she explained.
“What do you mean? My eyes are fine. I don’t wear glasses or anything like that.”
“Well you need some, because you, my dear, are blind as a freaking bat,” she said, shaking her head at me. “If you can’t see how in love that man is with you, then you are dumber than a box of freaking doorknobs.”
“Don’t. Don’t. I’m not ready to talk about this,” I explained, stepping away from the confrontation.
“Fine. I got you. You won’t hear another word from me about it, then,”
Christine said, walking toward my brother’s car.
“Ang, whose sports car is this, anyway?”
“My brother’s. He’s in Atlanta for work. Since I live so close to the airport, he parks it here, and I drive him to the airport. He’s getting a cab here at the end of the week when he gets back. It’s cheaper
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