âDonât leave your hockey gear in the hall.â Thatâs their idea of a heartfelt conversation. No wonder Mick always wants to hang out in our crappy little apartment instead of at his place.
When I realized that, I was all ready to call him and say how sorry I was for hurting his feelings, but then Gavin threw up and I didnât have the chance. Now Iâve changed my mind. I am sorryâbut I realize that even mentioning Mickâs feelings would be wounding him again. Heâs a guy. He doesnât want to look like a wuss.
So Iâm just going to let this go. Iâll give him a little space. Iâll act like we both need to chill out. I want him to be able to come back to me when heâs readyâand with his dignity intact. Too bad it wasnât intact tonight.
Oops. I didnât mean that. Neither of us behaved as well as we could have, and I know he feels badly for what he did to Gavin. Emotions were running highâand hey, we all have our bad days now and again.
Speaking of which, tomorrowâs going to be hell. Bio, Chemistry AND Math. Plus Iâm cleaning Mrs. Crespoâs apartment after school. Iâve GOT to go to sleep!
Note to Self
1. Iron pink shirt.
2. Talk to Mr. Panjvani about a reference letter.
3. Finish yearbook write-up.
Mick
Chapter Three
Quinn slams into the locker and slides onto the floor. Heâs supposedly laughing so hard, he canât stand up. I want to kill him.
I poke my head out from behind the pop machine and look down the hall. He goes âPeekaboo!â then chokes on his own hilariousness. He starts wheezing and hacking like heâs some eighty-year-old bingo player.
I make sure Jadeâs gone, then I swear at him and walk over to my locker. I know she saw me.
I shove him out of the way with my foot so I can get my stuff. âYou sat on some gum,â I say. He jumps up all indignant, like someone put it there on purpose. Iâd laugh, but Iâm still too pissed off.
A couple of kids walk by and do it for me. Quinn twists his head over his shoulder and starts picking the gum off his butt.
âYou know,â he says, âwhen you told me you broke up with Jade, I thought, All right. The manâs finally grown a pair. But no such luck. I mean, what is it nowâthree weeks later? Four? And youâre still playing hide-and-seek?â
I get out my World History books. He can talk all he wants. He doesnât know what itâs like.
He stretches the gum out into a long gray scuzzy string. Itâs gone from someoneâs mouth to the hall floor to Quinnâs ass. It grosses me out just looking at it.
He snaps it off. âEither go back to her or get over it,â he says, âbecause, frankly, this is pathetic.â
âYeah,â I say. âIt is.â I look at him rolling the gum in his hands as if thatâs what weâre talking about, then head down the hall without him.
I donât hear a thing Ms. Hamilton says all class. Iâve got to smarten up. I need a good mark in World History, but my mindâs not there today. I keep thinking about Jade. I know breaking up with her was the right thing to do. Itâs not that. We were too far gone to fix. But that doesnât mean I donât still care about her.
I hate running into her. She looks like hell. Sheâs so skinny and sad.
The worst thing, though, is she makes me think of Gavin. I keep picturing his face the last time I saw him. He was sobbing like Iâd drowned his dog or something.
But what can I do? I canât go back with Jade to make her little brother happy. I canât go back with her so she wonât lose any more weight. Iâve just got to tough it out. Weâll get over it.
The bell rings. Poli-sci is next. The fastest way there is by the east stairs, but thatâs the way Jade goes to French. I can handle being in English with her. I mean, itâs not like I have any
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