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Authors: C.M. Stunich
Tags: Romance
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myself. When I open them, I light up and suck in a drag. Lola studies me carefully, almost too carefully. I wonder what her secret is. Everyone has one, a skeleton in the closet just waiting for a necromancer. I'd rather not have my shit lifted up from the grave and sicced on the world, but it looks like it's happening whether I want it to or not. I have to make those calls.
“Lydia still thinks Turner's her dad. She doesn't give a rat's ass about me. But that's to be expected.”
Lola scowls and snorts, shaking her head like I've disgusted her. She sweeps some of her dark hair back and looks up at me. Thank God the stupid shades are stuck in her pocket. I can actually see her eyes now; they're almost as big and round as the glasses but a hell of a lot prettier. I try to think of something to compare the blue of her eyes to, and all I can come up with are alcoholic beverages. Sad. That's just sad.
“You've gotta stop that self-deprecating crap, Ronnie, ” she snaps, standing up and pointing her nail at my chest. “I told you last night, if you don't care about yourself, who the hell else is going to? Pull your head out of your ass and just stop.” Lola steps up so close to me her heels crush my toes, grabbing my face and shoving her tongue down my throat. For once in my life, I'm too shocked to do anything but stand there with my mouth hanging open, the world's hottest chick pressed up on me. Second hottest chick, my brain automatically corrects thinking of Asuka.
And that's why, even though I want to fall in love again, I don't know if I can.
I reach out and grab Lola's upper arms, pushing her back a step.
She stares at me for a moment and shakes her head, grabbing her sunglasses and putting them back on her face. Before she goes, she slips the cigarette out from between my fingers and puts it in her mouth.
“Nice to meet you, Ronnie,” she says and slams the door behind her.
I don't know why I get so upset at Ronnie. I'm not here to be his mentor or his girlfriend or anything like that. I'm here to kick his ass and take his name. I'm here to knock him down, so I can climb up.
I pause and put my hand on the wall, taking slow, deep breaths while I try to get ahold of myself. I can't stop thinking about what a terrible person I am. And then Ronnie goes and talks shit about himself, and fuck, but he's so sad and all that. I don't know what to do. This whole time, I've been following orders and doing generic sorts of shit, like finding that baseball cap and mailing it off. I've never actually done anything personal to anyone.
I stare at the floor, at the hideous carpeting, and think about Ronnie's daughter. Her mum is dead because of me. Well, maybe not me personally, but us. Us. Us.
I clap my other hand to my forehead.
“Get yourself together, Lola, for fuck's sake.”
“Hey, you.”
I look up and glance over my shoulder to find Naomi Knox standing behind me, a bandage on her forehead, blonde hair swept up into a ponytail on the top of her head. I've done everything I could during this tour to stay out of her way. She scares me, I'll be honest. That, and I feel like she'll sense that I know her brother somehow. Don't know how, but wouldn't that just be a Goddam drag? Bitch looks like she could take care of herself.
“Yeah?” I ask, feeling the rush I was looking for when I grabbed that needle. I had a hard night last night. Cohen wouldn't leave me alone, banging on the door all damn night. That, and somehow, whenever I tried to go to sleep, all I could see was Ronnie's sad smile in my head. I stand up and turn around, doing my best not to stumble. I drank a lot before I went over to see him. Doubt he noticed. He was too preoccupied with his own shit. Naomi though, God, Naomi looks like she's hyper aware of the world right now.
Her orange-brown eyes bore into me, making me fidget. I sniffle and keep a hand on the wall for support. I try not to compare myself to her, but she's so tall and pretty, like a
“Lydia still thinks Turner's her dad. She doesn't give a rat's ass about me. But that's to be expected.”
Lola scowls and snorts, shaking her head like I've disgusted her. She sweeps some of her dark hair back and looks up at me. Thank God the stupid shades are stuck in her pocket. I can actually see her eyes now; they're almost as big and round as the glasses but a hell of a lot prettier. I try to think of something to compare the blue of her eyes to, and all I can come up with are alcoholic beverages. Sad. That's just sad.
“You've gotta stop that self-deprecating crap, Ronnie, ” she snaps, standing up and pointing her nail at my chest. “I told you last night, if you don't care about yourself, who the hell else is going to? Pull your head out of your ass and just stop.” Lola steps up so close to me her heels crush my toes, grabbing my face and shoving her tongue down my throat. For once in my life, I'm too shocked to do anything but stand there with my mouth hanging open, the world's hottest chick pressed up on me. Second hottest chick, my brain automatically corrects thinking of Asuka.
And that's why, even though I want to fall in love again, I don't know if I can.
I reach out and grab Lola's upper arms, pushing her back a step.
She stares at me for a moment and shakes her head, grabbing her sunglasses and putting them back on her face. Before she goes, she slips the cigarette out from between my fingers and puts it in her mouth.
“Nice to meet you, Ronnie,” she says and slams the door behind her.
I don't know why I get so upset at Ronnie. I'm not here to be his mentor or his girlfriend or anything like that. I'm here to kick his ass and take his name. I'm here to knock him down, so I can climb up.
I pause and put my hand on the wall, taking slow, deep breaths while I try to get ahold of myself. I can't stop thinking about what a terrible person I am. And then Ronnie goes and talks shit about himself, and fuck, but he's so sad and all that. I don't know what to do. This whole time, I've been following orders and doing generic sorts of shit, like finding that baseball cap and mailing it off. I've never actually done anything personal to anyone.
I stare at the floor, at the hideous carpeting, and think about Ronnie's daughter. Her mum is dead because of me. Well, maybe not me personally, but us. Us. Us.
I clap my other hand to my forehead.
“Get yourself together, Lola, for fuck's sake.”
“Hey, you.”
I look up and glance over my shoulder to find Naomi Knox standing behind me, a bandage on her forehead, blonde hair swept up into a ponytail on the top of her head. I've done everything I could during this tour to stay out of her way. She scares me, I'll be honest. That, and I feel like she'll sense that I know her brother somehow. Don't know how, but wouldn't that just be a Goddam drag? Bitch looks like she could take care of herself.
“Yeah?” I ask, feeling the rush I was looking for when I grabbed that needle. I had a hard night last night. Cohen wouldn't leave me alone, banging on the door all damn night. That, and somehow, whenever I tried to go to sleep, all I could see was Ronnie's sad smile in my head. I stand up and turn around, doing my best not to stumble. I drank a lot before I went over to see him. Doubt he noticed. He was too preoccupied with his own shit. Naomi though, God, Naomi looks like she's hyper aware of the world right now.
Her orange-brown eyes bore into me, making me fidget. I sniffle and keep a hand on the wall for support. I try not to compare myself to her, but she's so tall and pretty, like a
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