Read Online Touching Smoke by Airicka Phoenix - Free Book Online Page B

reached for me, framing my face in her soft hands. She stroked my cheeks lightly, prolonging whatever she was about to say.
    “I love you,” she murmured finally. “I love you so much, Fallon. You are the one thing in my life that has ever meant anything. From the day you were born, I told myself that I would do anything and everything to keep you from getting hurt, even if it meant having you hate me in the end. I know things haven’t been easy for you and I’ve asked you to give up so much, but I promise it was all to keep you safe.”
    “Safe from what?” I asked softly.
    Her hands fell away from my face, leaving the abandoned area chilled. “I need you to understand one thing before I tell you,” her fingers twisted in front of her, knuckles popping. “I loved your father. I loved him more than I’ve loved anyone. He was everything to me. I would have done anything to be with him forever. But things change, people change and sometimes, it’s the people we love who change into something we can’t change back. Your father turned out not to be the man I thought he was. There were secrets in our relationship that I couldn’t overlook. When we had you, he swore that those secrets were over, that we would be a family. But secrets never just go away, Fallon. They will always be there, lurking in the shadows, biding their time.”
    “Is that what killed him?” I whispered, gut churning.
    She sucked in a breath. “Your father isn’t dead, Fallon.”
    A full heartbeat passed where I could only stare at her. The four little words I’d longed to hear my whole life echoed inside my skull, but not one registered through the crippling vice restraining my thought flow.
    “But you said…” I trailed off, choking on the rest of the words.
    “I know, sweetie, but I was trying—”
    “To protect me?” I grounded out, anger washing through the numbness and claiming my soul. “All these years… every time I asked you about my father, every time I begged you to tell me about him, anything about him… you lied to me!”
    She put her hands up, willing me to hear her out. “Let me explain.”
    “Explain what?” I moved away from her, not trusting myself when all I wanted to do was lash out. “That all this time I had a father somewhere out there? That you’ve been keeping him from me? What could you possibly say that will fix what you’ve done?”
    “I did it to keep you safe, Fallon!” she insisted. “You have no idea the sort of person he was and the things he was capable of doing.”
    “I had a right to find out for myself!” I retorted vehemently. “I had a right to know who my father was! I had a right to make that decision for myself.”
    “Fallon, please…”
    I shook my head, looking at anything but her, knowing I would explode if I saw the plea in her eyes, on her face the way it was dripping from her tongue. “You’re right, there’s no way I can understand why you would do something so selfish.”
    “Fallon!” I ignored her shout by throwing open the door and lunged out into the night.
    The streets were empty with the odd car passing by.  My sneakers splashed against the wet pavement as I ran down the first block and turned. Neon signs flashed all around me despite the late hour. Shops leered back at me with dark, gaping windows. I stopped running and just stood on the sidewalk staring out over the long stretch of concrete ahead of me. It didn’t take rocket science to know that I would find nothing at the end of this road. I could run forever and still have nowhere to go. I had no home, no family, and no friends. I was alone. And it was all because of her.
    She was the reason I had no one and nothing. She was the one who took me away from everything, kept me hidden and on the run. This was all her fault. I hated her so much at that moment, even when a small part of me insisted I didn’t, that I hated my situation, not my mother. But my situation was because of her. It didn’t matter