they knew and didn’t like. I felt as if we’d been taking little baby steps away from each other ever since I got back from Wisconsin, and now we’d each taken a giant step back and nothing could ever fix that.
Chris and Kevin were waiting for us when we got off the bus at school. Daria gave me a huffy disapprovinglook, as if she’d caught me being a total ho, when the truth is that Shakes and I had done nothing, nothing , compared to what people were saying she did with Chris.
“So…are you two, like…hooking up?” Kevin asked me and Shakes. “Are you guys, like…dating? And you didn’t bother to tell us?”
“Are you kidding?” I said. “That would be like dating your brother!”
Now Shakes was looking at me weirdly, too, and I knew I’d hurt his feelings. I wondered if he’d been thinking about me the way I’d been thinking about him. And now I’d gone and ruined it.
“Come on,” said Chris. “Don’t lie. Everybody saw the two of you making out in the back of the bus.”
“Man,” said Shakes, “I feel sorry for Daria if you don’t know the difference between sleeping and making out.”
What a brilliant answer! It shut them up for a moment, during which I started to wonder why Chris and Kevin cared so much about what Shakes and I were doing, even if there was something going on. Whichthere wasn’t. Chris had Daria, wasn’t that enough? But it was as if they thought we’d done something to them . As if we’d cheated on them with each other. As if I’d broken up the four-person gang we’d had since we were little. As if I’d chosen Shakes over them, and they would never forgive me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Nothing was ever the same after Kevin and Chris saw me and Shakes sleeping—or making out or whatever they thought we were doing—on the bus. The divide that had separated us when I came home from my year in Wisconsin had widened into the Grand Canyon.
Chris and Kevin acted as if I’d stolen their best friend. That didn’t seem right. Another unfair thing was that they seemed to blame me more than they blamedShakes. I guess that was sort of like everyone blaming Eve instead of Adam for eating the apple and getting kicked out of the Garden of Eden. I never understood that part of the Bible. Wasn’t it Adam’s fault, too? But she was the temptress, the evil woman who’d led the fool astray.
I knew it must have been hard for Shakes to be leading a double life. The sweet, tender guy he was with me when we were alone on the bus, and the silent kid who went along with his friends when they acted as if they hardly knew me. Every time I’d go up to Chris or Kevin at school, they’d turn and walk away. Or they’d look at me as if I’d just said the stupidest thing in the world, and then they’d act as if I wasn’t there. At first Shakes would seem as if he didn’t know what to do, and then he would do what they did. You’d think I would have got used to it after it happened often enough, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.
I kept trying to understand: Why couldn’t they handle it if Shakes and I fell asleep on each other’s shoulders? Sometimes I felt as if they blamed me personally for the fact that we all had to grow up and turn into men and women. That we couldn’t be little kids anymore. Which didn’t seem right, either. I mean, Peter Pan didn’tblame Wendy or Tinker Bell for the fact that most kids (except for him) wound up becoming grown-ups.
Sometimes I wondered what would happen if I told Shakes that he had to choose between them and me. Choose between what and what? We never talked about what we did on the bus, and we certainly didn’t talk about the freeze-out I was getting from Chris and Kevin. Or about the fact that Shakes ignored me when he was with them.
So of course I didn’t tell Shakes that he had to choose.
Which turned out to be the right move. I guess Shakes must have forgiven me for saying that dating him would be like dating my brother. Because our thing in
Chris and Kevin were waiting for us when we got off the bus at school. Daria gave me a huffy disapprovinglook, as if she’d caught me being a total ho, when the truth is that Shakes and I had done nothing, nothing , compared to what people were saying she did with Chris.
“So…are you two, like…hooking up?” Kevin asked me and Shakes. “Are you guys, like…dating? And you didn’t bother to tell us?”
“Are you kidding?” I said. “That would be like dating your brother!”
Now Shakes was looking at me weirdly, too, and I knew I’d hurt his feelings. I wondered if he’d been thinking about me the way I’d been thinking about him. And now I’d gone and ruined it.
“Come on,” said Chris. “Don’t lie. Everybody saw the two of you making out in the back of the bus.”
“Man,” said Shakes, “I feel sorry for Daria if you don’t know the difference between sleeping and making out.”
What a brilliant answer! It shut them up for a moment, during which I started to wonder why Chris and Kevin cared so much about what Shakes and I were doing, even if there was something going on. Whichthere wasn’t. Chris had Daria, wasn’t that enough? But it was as if they thought we’d done something to them . As if we’d cheated on them with each other. As if I’d broken up the four-person gang we’d had since we were little. As if I’d chosen Shakes over them, and they would never forgive me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Nothing was ever the same after Kevin and Chris saw me and Shakes sleeping—or making out or whatever they thought we were doing—on the bus. The divide that had separated us when I came home from my year in Wisconsin had widened into the Grand Canyon.
Chris and Kevin acted as if I’d stolen their best friend. That didn’t seem right. Another unfair thing was that they seemed to blame me more than they blamedShakes. I guess that was sort of like everyone blaming Eve instead of Adam for eating the apple and getting kicked out of the Garden of Eden. I never understood that part of the Bible. Wasn’t it Adam’s fault, too? But she was the temptress, the evil woman who’d led the fool astray.
I knew it must have been hard for Shakes to be leading a double life. The sweet, tender guy he was with me when we were alone on the bus, and the silent kid who went along with his friends when they acted as if they hardly knew me. Every time I’d go up to Chris or Kevin at school, they’d turn and walk away. Or they’d look at me as if I’d just said the stupidest thing in the world, and then they’d act as if I wasn’t there. At first Shakes would seem as if he didn’t know what to do, and then he would do what they did. You’d think I would have got used to it after it happened often enough, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.
I kept trying to understand: Why couldn’t they handle it if Shakes and I fell asleep on each other’s shoulders? Sometimes I felt as if they blamed me personally for the fact that we all had to grow up and turn into men and women. That we couldn’t be little kids anymore. Which didn’t seem right, either. I mean, Peter Pan didn’tblame Wendy or Tinker Bell for the fact that most kids (except for him) wound up becoming grown-ups.
Sometimes I wondered what would happen if I told Shakes that he had to choose between them and me. Choose between what and what? We never talked about what we did on the bus, and we certainly didn’t talk about the freeze-out I was getting from Chris and Kevin. Or about the fact that Shakes ignored me when he was with them.
So of course I didn’t tell Shakes that he had to choose.
Which turned out to be the right move. I guess Shakes must have forgiven me for saying that dating him would be like dating my brother. Because our thing in
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