Read Online Torment by Lindsey Anne Kendal - Free Book Online Page A

eyes welled up. I wiped them quickly and was about to say something, but before I got chance to, his lips were on mine. Part of me wanted to push him away, but not because I didn’t like him; instead, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back. My head was screaming at me the whole time I was kissing him; he didn’t know how different I was, and how I would never be able to be with him. How could I tell him? He would blame himself; I knew he would. I couldn’t do that to him, not now, not after everything that had happened.
    When the kiss ended he kept his face close to mine.
    “I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he breathed.
    “Tyler, I don't think I can do this.”
    “Why?”
    “Because you’re human; I’m not.”
    “I don't care,” he said before kissing my cheek.
    “You don't know how different I am now.”
    “I don't care, Keira. I wouldn’t care if you were a zombie; I’d still want you.”
    “Tyler, I…”
    I didn’t get to finish my sentence; he kissed me again, this time backing me up against the wall. He was an amazing kisser. His lips were soft and warm against mine and he held me so close to him, I could feel the warmth of his skin through my top. I realized he hadn't put his shirt back on yet. Even though I’d had my arms around him, I hadn't realized until that point. I ended the kiss and looked at him.
    “Tyler, put your shirt on.”
    “Why? Is it bothering you?” he said, putting his arms out so his hands were against the wall either side of me.
    “Yeah, but not in a bad way; that's…that’s the bad thing.”
    “Why bad?”
    “Because I can’t be with you” I whispered, ducking under his arm and moving away.
    “Is it because of Lucian?”
    “No, it’s nothing to do with Lucian,” I told him.
    “It’s Eligos, isn’t it? You want him, don't you?” he asked, putting his shirt on.
    “I like him, yes, but it’s not him that’s…”
    “What’s stopping us then?”
    “I am, Tyler. You’re not ready to hear how I’m different yet, not after everything you’ve just been through.”
    “Try me,” he said seriously.
    “No, not yet; I’m not ready to tell you either.”
    “What can be so bad? I’ve told you already, nothing would stop me wanting to be with you.”
    “It may not stop you wanting, but it will make you understand why we can’t be together,” I told him. “Tyler, I like you a lot, I always have, and I think after recent events you know how much I care about you. But I can’t do this, no matter how much I may want to. I can’t be with any of you, please, just…just try to understand.”
    “How can I understand when you haven’t told me why?” he asked.
    “You always said you trusted me, well trust me now.”
    “Will it ever change?”
    “I don't know, I don't think so,” I told him. “I’m sorry.”
    “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
    “Don’t be! I don't regret anything that just happened. I just don't want to give you false hope.”
    “Can we still be friends, as close we used to be? I couldn’t cope not having you close to me at all.”
    “Of course,” I said, walking up to him and hugging him. “I’ll always be your friend, always.”
    “Promise me if anything changes you’ll tell me.”
    “I promise.”
    When we let go of each other we walked into the kitchen and I made us both coffee. He looked sad but not heartbroken. I think it was the not knowing why we couldn’t be together that was bothering him, more than us not actually being together. We spent the afternoon together, sprawled out on one of the sofas in the chill-out room watching horror films. The curtains in there were really thick and blocked out most of the light, so it was nice and dark in there. We took loads of snacks in with us and in the end we opened a bottle of wine too. It was nice spending time on our own; I’d missed it a lot. I always felt comfortable around Tyler; he never judged me or argued with me, well, not unless we