Read Online Too Jewish by Patty Friedmann - Free Book Online Page A

left her behind, that he was following the trajectory of the war on the European front, that he knew it was beyond urgent that I would want to help her escape. "So that was life and death," he said.
    "Yes," I said. "It was life and death."
    "I thought you had a gambling debt or something," he said.
    "Don't you know me better than that?" I said, and he laughed. I didn't say that the meaning of gambling debt could be inflated into my personal sphere, something I owed for having taken a terrible risk.
    Axel quickly got serious. "There's not much agencies can do from here now," he said. "Whatever would have happened would have happened from New York."
    "You know all these things?" I said, hoping he would tell me about his family.
    "Everyone in New York knows about these things," he said. "How much more do you need for your mother?"
    I did the arithmetic. With Ted, the gold coin, and my savings, it was less than 80 dollars. I wondered for a moment whether that would impress Letty's father. I gave the figure to Axel. He asked if my mother was still at our old address and told me to send what I had, and he would get the money to her.
    "But, you know, I haven't heard from her in two weeks," I said.
    "I'll send you my half. You take it to the Red Cross." I got the same sick feeling I'd had when Ted had mentioned going there.
    Before we hung up, before I fell to the bottom of the booth from the heat, I asked him about his family. His father was alive, so he had two parents left behind. He didn't get terse or angry. At least not terse or angry toward me. "That's something I would have to tell you in person," he said. "I'm willing to tell you anything, but I want to look in your face when I tell you that. Try to remember my mother." All I could remember of his mother was that she never encouraged me to eat.
    * * *
    My first visit to the Red Cross gave me the kind of relief that comes of having no way of knowing anything. I didn't have the money in hand. I wanted to know all the details first. The volunteer had been so kind. Her name had been Martha, and she had resembled Letty's mother, only she wasn't fancy. "There's no point sending money until we find your mother," she had said when I told her I hadn't heard from my mother in two weeks. She was leaving a lot unsaid, but she wasn't letting me come up to the surface with that realization. She told me to come back in two weeks.
    Ted went with me both times. The second time I knew that unless telegraphs didn't work, I was going to learn something. I was shaking so badly that Ted asked if I wanted to stop on the way and get a beer. I didn't think beer would do anything but make me nauseated, I told him. "Maybe they won't know anything," I said as we walked through the door.
    Martha remembered me before I opened my mouth. People often remembered me after I spoke; otherwise I was another American soldier in uniform. "But I don't recall your name," she said. "Except it's odd for some reason."
    "Cooper?" Ted said.
    "Oh, right," Martha said. "It's different in German."
    I spelled out my mother's name, Dora Kuper. "She lives in Stuttgart, and it's all right if you have no information," I said.
    "I understand," Martha said.
    She brought a cable from the back room. There was no mistaking it. News. She looked at me as neutrally as possible, but I didn't think the Red Cross carried good news. I handed it directly to Ted, who turned his back to me when he opened it and read it. Ted wasn't experienced in being neutral. He turned right around and said, "I am so sorry."
    "What," I said. She was dead. I felt the blood rushing out of my head. That really happens. Everything in my line of vision went light. I was not going to be able to keep standing.
    "Sit," Ted said. He grabbed my elbow with his free hand. I didn't know Ted was so strong. With one hand he guided me to a chair. "Hey, Bernie," I heard him say, "put your head between your knees."
    It was while I was sitting with my head between my knees,