Read Online Too Good to Be True: The Colossal Book of Urban Legends by Jan Harold Harold Brunvand - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Jan Harold Harold Brunvand
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group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake, and when she took it out of the oven, the center had dropped flat.
Oh dear, there was no time to bake another cake, so she looked around the house for something to build up the centre of the cake.
She found it in the bathroom, a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and covered it with icing. The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church.
She then gave her daughter some money and instructions to be at the sale the minute it opened and to buy that cake and bring it home.
When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold. The lady was beside herself.
A couple of days later the same lady was invited to a friend’s home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon.
After the game a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert.
After the lady saw the cake, she started to get off her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it. But before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, “What a beautiful cake!”
The first lady sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess say, “Thank you, I baked it myself.” [The same story was published around 1980 in the Sydney (Australia) Morning Herald.]
----
“The Loaded Dog”
It Just Goes to Show, There Are No Lifeguards at the Gene Pool
From a radio program, true report of a happening in Georgia.
Guy buys brand new Grand Cherokee for $30,000 and has $400+ monthly payments.
He and a friend go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen.
These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.
Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice-hole drill.
© Tribune Media Services, Inc.. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.
Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.
Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that if they place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the new Grand Cherokee), they take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. So, they decide to light this 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns, and the dog?
Yes, the dog: A highly trained black Lab used for retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner.
You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave arms, and wonder what to do now.
The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.
One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a black Lab. Dog stops for a moment, slightly confused but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course scared, thinking these two Nobel Prize winners have gone insane. He takes off to find cover (with the now really short fuse burning on the stick of dynamite)…under the brand new Cherokee.
BOOM!
Dog and Cherokee are blown to bits and sink to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two candidates for Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing there with this “I can’t believe this happened” look on their faces.
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not
Oh dear, there was no time to bake another cake, so she looked around the house for something to build up the centre of the cake.
She found it in the bathroom, a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and covered it with icing. The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church.
She then gave her daughter some money and instructions to be at the sale the minute it opened and to buy that cake and bring it home.
When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold. The lady was beside herself.
A couple of days later the same lady was invited to a friend’s home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon.
After the game a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert.
After the lady saw the cake, she started to get off her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it. But before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, “What a beautiful cake!”
The first lady sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess say, “Thank you, I baked it myself.” [The same story was published around 1980 in the Sydney (Australia) Morning Herald.]
----
“The Loaded Dog”
It Just Goes to Show, There Are No Lifeguards at the Gene Pool
From a radio program, true report of a happening in Georgia.
Guy buys brand new Grand Cherokee for $30,000 and has $400+ monthly payments.
He and a friend go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen.
These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.
Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice-hole drill.
© Tribune Media Services, Inc.. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.
Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.
Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that if they place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the new Grand Cherokee), they take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. So, they decide to light this 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns, and the dog?
Yes, the dog: A highly trained black Lab used for retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner.
You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave arms, and wonder what to do now.
The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.
One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a black Lab. Dog stops for a moment, slightly confused but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course scared, thinking these two Nobel Prize winners have gone insane. He takes off to find cover (with the now really short fuse burning on the stick of dynamite)…under the brand new Cherokee.
BOOM!
Dog and Cherokee are blown to bits and sink to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two candidates for Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing there with this “I can’t believe this happened” look on their faces.
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not
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