'So I tried the infra-red scanner. Nothing. Look.'
He flicked a free-floating switch and the Earth suddenly looked as if it was bathed in blood.
'Satisfied?' said Apollo. 'Nothing. Nor has he borrowed a Cloak of Invisibility, wandered into another dimension or disguised himself in a false beard and a raincoat. He's just gone. Phut!'
Diana set her lips in a thin line. Bing she could just about handle, but phut! was something else. 'Don't be so feeble, Pol,' she said. 'Send a messenger or something.'
Apollo grinned at her. 'I did,' he said. 'I've had Sleep, Death, Thought, Time and Indigestion flying backwards and forwards over the Caucasus for the last twenty minutes. Nothing. Except; he added, 'a bloody great big chit for mileage allowance, which someone isn't going to be too pleased about...'
Diana sagged slightly. 'Perhaps they didn't look properly,' she ventured. Minerva gave her a look.
'All right,' said Minerva, 'but he must be somewhere. Everyone always is. Have you spoken to his driver?'
'George,' said Apollo, 'is at this very moment trying to convince thirty-two very irritable Thessalian Centaurs that his master has just had to pop back for a pair of winged sandals and will be along in a minute. He's-as baffled as the rest of us.'
Minerva bit her lip. On her right shoulder, her owl shifted from leg to leg nervously.
'Well,' she said, 'obviously he's out there somewhere, but...'
'Look,' said Apollo, 'didn't I just...'
'Let me finish, will you? But,' Minerva went on, 'all reasonable and diligent enquiries...'
'Thank you.'
'... have failed to reveal exactly where,' Minerva said.
'We are gods, and nothing can be hidden from us. Except,' she went on, 'by other gods.'
There was a short pause.
'Oh,' Demeter said, 'I see what you're driving at. You think one of us...'
Minerva breathed in in the manner she usually reserved for her male relatives. 'No, dear,' she said, 'Not one of us here now, because none of us, not even Pol, would be so very childish. One of us gods, on the other hand, as opposed to the mortals or the Tooth Fairy, yes. That, I would suggest, narrows the field down a bit, wouldn't you think?'
Demeter blinked. 'Does it?' she asked.
Minerva smiled terribly. 'Apollo, dear,' she said, 'why don't you take Demeter away and find her something to grow? I'm sure we needn't detain her further, and perhaps we'd all get on that bit faster if...'
'Oh do shut up, Mm,' Demeter said. 'And get to the point, if you've got one.'
'Very well, then,' Minerva said. 'What I'm trying to suggest to you is this. A Hero has disappeared. He must be out there somewhere. Therefore a god must have hidden him. Now, don't you think that points rather at Someone in Particular?'
Even Demeter couldn't fail to catch her drift. The poet Homer describes Jupiter as He Whose Delight Is In Thunder, but poets have to be polite. His fellow gods prefer to describe him as He Whose Delight Is In Being Bloody Difficult.
'He wouldn't,' Diana said, 'would he? I mean, why?'
Minerva smiled. 'Bonus points,' she said.
'Bonus points?'
'Precisely,' Minerva replied. 'Typical underhand cheating.'
Gods, it should be explained, have no objection to overhand cheating, which they prefer to call Fate. Overhand cheating consists of wiping out whole cities with the plague or flattening your opponent's best Hero with a thunderbolt. Anything that is devious, however, or smacks of low cunning, they regard with great distaste, largely because it's usually too clever for them to follow.
'What he's done,' Minerva went on, 'is to magic this Jason away for three or four moves, and then he'll pop him back in when we least expect it. Then one of us'll be left with a headless dragon or a defeated army and absolutely nothing at all we can do about it. Well, I for one...'
'I'm not so sure,' said Apollo.
Minerva turned and looked at him. 'Well,' she said, 'if you have an alternative explanation, I'm sure we'd all be only too pleased...'
'No,' Apollo
He flicked a free-floating switch and the Earth suddenly looked as if it was bathed in blood.
'Satisfied?' said Apollo. 'Nothing. Nor has he borrowed a Cloak of Invisibility, wandered into another dimension or disguised himself in a false beard and a raincoat. He's just gone. Phut!'
Diana set her lips in a thin line. Bing she could just about handle, but phut! was something else. 'Don't be so feeble, Pol,' she said. 'Send a messenger or something.'
Apollo grinned at her. 'I did,' he said. 'I've had Sleep, Death, Thought, Time and Indigestion flying backwards and forwards over the Caucasus for the last twenty minutes. Nothing. Except; he added, 'a bloody great big chit for mileage allowance, which someone isn't going to be too pleased about...'
Diana sagged slightly. 'Perhaps they didn't look properly,' she ventured. Minerva gave her a look.
'All right,' said Minerva, 'but he must be somewhere. Everyone always is. Have you spoken to his driver?'
'George,' said Apollo, 'is at this very moment trying to convince thirty-two very irritable Thessalian Centaurs that his master has just had to pop back for a pair of winged sandals and will be along in a minute. He's-as baffled as the rest of us.'
Minerva bit her lip. On her right shoulder, her owl shifted from leg to leg nervously.
'Well,' she said, 'obviously he's out there somewhere, but...'
'Look,' said Apollo, 'didn't I just...'
'Let me finish, will you? But,' Minerva went on, 'all reasonable and diligent enquiries...'
'Thank you.'
'... have failed to reveal exactly where,' Minerva said.
'We are gods, and nothing can be hidden from us. Except,' she went on, 'by other gods.'
There was a short pause.
'Oh,' Demeter said, 'I see what you're driving at. You think one of us...'
Minerva breathed in in the manner she usually reserved for her male relatives. 'No, dear,' she said, 'Not one of us here now, because none of us, not even Pol, would be so very childish. One of us gods, on the other hand, as opposed to the mortals or the Tooth Fairy, yes. That, I would suggest, narrows the field down a bit, wouldn't you think?'
Demeter blinked. 'Does it?' she asked.
Minerva smiled terribly. 'Apollo, dear,' she said, 'why don't you take Demeter away and find her something to grow? I'm sure we needn't detain her further, and perhaps we'd all get on that bit faster if...'
'Oh do shut up, Mm,' Demeter said. 'And get to the point, if you've got one.'
'Very well, then,' Minerva said. 'What I'm trying to suggest to you is this. A Hero has disappeared. He must be out there somewhere. Therefore a god must have hidden him. Now, don't you think that points rather at Someone in Particular?'
Even Demeter couldn't fail to catch her drift. The poet Homer describes Jupiter as He Whose Delight Is In Thunder, but poets have to be polite. His fellow gods prefer to describe him as He Whose Delight Is In Being Bloody Difficult.
'He wouldn't,' Diana said, 'would he? I mean, why?'
Minerva smiled. 'Bonus points,' she said.
'Bonus points?'
'Precisely,' Minerva replied. 'Typical underhand cheating.'
Gods, it should be explained, have no objection to overhand cheating, which they prefer to call Fate. Overhand cheating consists of wiping out whole cities with the plague or flattening your opponent's best Hero with a thunderbolt. Anything that is devious, however, or smacks of low cunning, they regard with great distaste, largely because it's usually too clever for them to follow.
'What he's done,' Minerva went on, 'is to magic this Jason away for three or four moves, and then he'll pop him back in when we least expect it. Then one of us'll be left with a headless dragon or a defeated army and absolutely nothing at all we can do about it. Well, I for one...'
'I'm not so sure,' said Apollo.
Minerva turned and looked at him. 'Well,' she said, 'if you have an alternative explanation, I'm sure we'd all be only too pleased...'
'No,' Apollo
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