Read Online To Love a Way of Life by Natalie Hart - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Natalie Hart
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your life to only one thing.”
“I’d have to dedicate my life to a child if I had one,” she said.
“You won’t dedicate anything to a child, they become part of your life. And it’s not the 70s, you can have a job, and children, and hobbies,” Sandra said. “And nights out with me.” Sandra scooted over to Emma on the couch and put her arm around her. Emma started to feel tears in her eyes.
“I never thought this would happen,” she said. “I’m not ready for it.”
“You have been thinking about it, you just said. And it’s accepting it that’s getting you like this. Not that you don’t think you’re capable, or that it’s wrong for you.” Sandra squeezed Emma’s shoulders. “You’ll make a great mother, and you’ll have your work, and you’ll have me, and your mother, and all those other friends you have who aren’t as important as me.”
Emma laughed, “Can you imagine having this conversation with Amy?”
“She’d need a Valium,” Sandra said. “But she’d make do with a double vodka and a jaeger bomb.”
“We’re too old for that,” Emma said.
“So you’re ready to settle down?” Emma saw the look in Sandra’s eye as she asked that. If she said ‘yes’ to this it would settle the matter for Sandra. She knew how she answered this would determine how Sandra treated her whenever it came up. She knew Sandra would support her no matter what.
“I am, I think so anyway,” she said. “But Patrick.”
“You like Patrick,” Sandra said.
“We’ve only just kissed. I haven’t even seen him with his top off, never mind sex. And to be thinking about a family?”
“He’s an older man, maybe he’s ready for this?”
“How do I even bring it up? ‘Hi, we just kissed but do you want to father my child?’”
“That’s what the next few months are for,” Sandra said. “Try not to think about it constantly, but you keep in the back of your mind that little question, ‘Will he be a father to my child?’”
“I think that’s what set this off for me,” Emma said. “When we talked over that dinner I kept thinking he’s the type of man I would have wanted for a father.”
“Jason wasn’t the type of man I wanted to be a father.”
Emma squeezed Sandra’s knee. She knew it was hard for Sandra to even mention this. She only brought it up when she was really upset, which was so rare. She kept everything on such an even keel.
“You’ll find him,” Emma said.
“I know, girl,” Sandra said. “We both will.”
***
E mma packed up her car ready to go in the morning. Her talk with Sandra had set her at ease. She’d try it with Patrick. If it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out. If he wasn’t right for her it’s better to find out sooner rather than later. If the business side of things worked out but the relationship didn’t she’d be mature enough to set things aside for the sake of her clients, and she really believed Patrick could do the same.
She didn’t know how things stood between them. He hadn’t called or even texted since she left Ballyhane on Sunday. It didn’t bother Emma, but she did realise it was different to all the boyfriends she had had before. Maybe he was different, and maybe that’s why a relationship would work with him. Emma fell asleep thinking of a relationship that meant something; a relationship with Patrick, and a daughter of her own.
Chapter 6
A s Emma rose she was disgusted by her thoughts from the night before. She couldn’t believe how fantastical her thoughts became of her and Patrick starting a family. She had been imagining rising next to him on a sunny Sunday morning, drinking coffee in their dressing gowns in his kitchen while their daughter painted on the well-worn wooden table. They’d get dressed and they’d all take Stan for a walk to the lake, then have a little picnic.
Emma had just gotten to know Patrick and she was already imagining them having a child, and family days in the countryside. How
“I’d have to dedicate my life to a child if I had one,” she said.
“You won’t dedicate anything to a child, they become part of your life. And it’s not the 70s, you can have a job, and children, and hobbies,” Sandra said. “And nights out with me.” Sandra scooted over to Emma on the couch and put her arm around her. Emma started to feel tears in her eyes.
“I never thought this would happen,” she said. “I’m not ready for it.”
“You have been thinking about it, you just said. And it’s accepting it that’s getting you like this. Not that you don’t think you’re capable, or that it’s wrong for you.” Sandra squeezed Emma’s shoulders. “You’ll make a great mother, and you’ll have your work, and you’ll have me, and your mother, and all those other friends you have who aren’t as important as me.”
Emma laughed, “Can you imagine having this conversation with Amy?”
“She’d need a Valium,” Sandra said. “But she’d make do with a double vodka and a jaeger bomb.”
“We’re too old for that,” Emma said.
“So you’re ready to settle down?” Emma saw the look in Sandra’s eye as she asked that. If she said ‘yes’ to this it would settle the matter for Sandra. She knew how she answered this would determine how Sandra treated her whenever it came up. She knew Sandra would support her no matter what.
“I am, I think so anyway,” she said. “But Patrick.”
“You like Patrick,” Sandra said.
“We’ve only just kissed. I haven’t even seen him with his top off, never mind sex. And to be thinking about a family?”
“He’s an older man, maybe he’s ready for this?”
“How do I even bring it up? ‘Hi, we just kissed but do you want to father my child?’”
“That’s what the next few months are for,” Sandra said. “Try not to think about it constantly, but you keep in the back of your mind that little question, ‘Will he be a father to my child?’”
“I think that’s what set this off for me,” Emma said. “When we talked over that dinner I kept thinking he’s the type of man I would have wanted for a father.”
“Jason wasn’t the type of man I wanted to be a father.”
Emma squeezed Sandra’s knee. She knew it was hard for Sandra to even mention this. She only brought it up when she was really upset, which was so rare. She kept everything on such an even keel.
“You’ll find him,” Emma said.
“I know, girl,” Sandra said. “We both will.”
***
E mma packed up her car ready to go in the morning. Her talk with Sandra had set her at ease. She’d try it with Patrick. If it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out. If he wasn’t right for her it’s better to find out sooner rather than later. If the business side of things worked out but the relationship didn’t she’d be mature enough to set things aside for the sake of her clients, and she really believed Patrick could do the same.
She didn’t know how things stood between them. He hadn’t called or even texted since she left Ballyhane on Sunday. It didn’t bother Emma, but she did realise it was different to all the boyfriends she had had before. Maybe he was different, and maybe that’s why a relationship would work with him. Emma fell asleep thinking of a relationship that meant something; a relationship with Patrick, and a daughter of her own.
Chapter 6
A s Emma rose she was disgusted by her thoughts from the night before. She couldn’t believe how fantastical her thoughts became of her and Patrick starting a family. She had been imagining rising next to him on a sunny Sunday morning, drinking coffee in their dressing gowns in his kitchen while their daughter painted on the well-worn wooden table. They’d get dressed and they’d all take Stan for a walk to the lake, then have a little picnic.
Emma had just gotten to know Patrick and she was already imagining them having a child, and family days in the countryside. How
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