Read Online To Hell and Back by Leigha Taylor - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Leigha Taylor
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take care of myself.”
“Where will you go, Brie? If you don’t go home, where are you going to go?” He has stopped his pacing and is staring at me, waiting for my response.
“I haven’t figured that out yet,” I tell him in a tiny voice that I hardly recognize as my own.
Neither one of us says anything for a long moment. The silence in the room is heavy and I can hear his rapid breathing. He’s angry and scared for me, I know that, but this isn’t the time for me to worry about him. He has no place in my life right now. I have to worry about myself. This is all becoming too much.
Carson squats down at the side of the bed, the fire still raging in his eyes. He reaches toward my face and I flinch away from him. I’m not very comfortable with angry men near my head. The motion seems to jerk him out of his thoughts, a look of sadness replacing his anger.
“I was – I was just going to brush your hair back, Brie,” he whispers. “I would never hurt you. I would never touch you in anger. I’m angry at him, not at you. I’m angry at the situation. If I touch you, it will be to care for you and to make you happy, never to cause you pain. Never.”
In my heart, I know he means what he is saying. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t know what comes next, and I can’t drag someone else into this mess.
“Carson, you should go. I need this time to think. I’m working on a way to get myself out of here. I am supposed to go home the day after tomorrow. I…”
“Fuck that, Brie!” His exclamation interrupts me and I’m stunned into silence. “I’m sorry, I really am, but this is crazy. He could have killed you. If you think I’m going to stand here and watch someone I care about suffer alone, then you’re wrong. I am not leaving; I am not letting go of you. I’m taking you with me. Come stay with me, Brie. Let me help you. Let’s do this together.”
I just lie there on the stark white hospital bed and stare at my hands. He can’t mean it. He barely knows me. But the smallest flicker of hope sparks somewhere in my heart and that’s more than I’ve had in the longest time. I find myself wanting to agree to his crazy idea.
“I wish we could, but…”
“No, Brie. No more telling me it’s complicated. No more pushing me away. This, whatever this is, might be new and it might be scary but it’s real. I’m connected to you in a way that extends to the core of my soul and that means something. It means you’re mine and I’m yours and it means I’m going to take care of you while you get better and we figure out a way for you to take care of yourself. It means you have a friend, a boyfriend, hell, a brother if that’s what you need. But you have me, Brie. You have all of me. I’m in.”
I start to cry; everything he says is like a light in my dark, lonely heart. I am so overwhelmed that I actually giggle at him, saying the first thing that pops into my head.
“Carson, I could never think of you as my brother!”
He smiles and the air feels a little lighter in the room. “Thank God for that, Brie. I have had a lot of thoughts about you, and hell, I’ve even had dreams about you. But I’m telling you right now that there wasn’t a single one of them where you were my sister .”
We talk a while longer before a nurse comes in and tells us it’s time for him to leave. He gently kisses my forehead and tells me he will see me in the morning. I’m scared and excited along with a million other emotions I can’t separate from each other. I don’t know how this will work or if it’s even a good idea, but it’s the only chance I have and I’m going to take it. Tomorrow morning I will sign myself out of this place and leave with Carson. I’m through with slowly dying in hell and I’m going to fight my way back to reclaim my life.
Chapter Eight
Brielle
It’s ten in the morning and Doctor Stevens has already
“Where will you go, Brie? If you don’t go home, where are you going to go?” He has stopped his pacing and is staring at me, waiting for my response.
“I haven’t figured that out yet,” I tell him in a tiny voice that I hardly recognize as my own.
Neither one of us says anything for a long moment. The silence in the room is heavy and I can hear his rapid breathing. He’s angry and scared for me, I know that, but this isn’t the time for me to worry about him. He has no place in my life right now. I have to worry about myself. This is all becoming too much.
Carson squats down at the side of the bed, the fire still raging in his eyes. He reaches toward my face and I flinch away from him. I’m not very comfortable with angry men near my head. The motion seems to jerk him out of his thoughts, a look of sadness replacing his anger.
“I was – I was just going to brush your hair back, Brie,” he whispers. “I would never hurt you. I would never touch you in anger. I’m angry at him, not at you. I’m angry at the situation. If I touch you, it will be to care for you and to make you happy, never to cause you pain. Never.”
In my heart, I know he means what he is saying. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t know what comes next, and I can’t drag someone else into this mess.
“Carson, you should go. I need this time to think. I’m working on a way to get myself out of here. I am supposed to go home the day after tomorrow. I…”
“Fuck that, Brie!” His exclamation interrupts me and I’m stunned into silence. “I’m sorry, I really am, but this is crazy. He could have killed you. If you think I’m going to stand here and watch someone I care about suffer alone, then you’re wrong. I am not leaving; I am not letting go of you. I’m taking you with me. Come stay with me, Brie. Let me help you. Let’s do this together.”
I just lie there on the stark white hospital bed and stare at my hands. He can’t mean it. He barely knows me. But the smallest flicker of hope sparks somewhere in my heart and that’s more than I’ve had in the longest time. I find myself wanting to agree to his crazy idea.
“I wish we could, but…”
“No, Brie. No more telling me it’s complicated. No more pushing me away. This, whatever this is, might be new and it might be scary but it’s real. I’m connected to you in a way that extends to the core of my soul and that means something. It means you’re mine and I’m yours and it means I’m going to take care of you while you get better and we figure out a way for you to take care of yourself. It means you have a friend, a boyfriend, hell, a brother if that’s what you need. But you have me, Brie. You have all of me. I’m in.”
I start to cry; everything he says is like a light in my dark, lonely heart. I am so overwhelmed that I actually giggle at him, saying the first thing that pops into my head.
“Carson, I could never think of you as my brother!”
He smiles and the air feels a little lighter in the room. “Thank God for that, Brie. I have had a lot of thoughts about you, and hell, I’ve even had dreams about you. But I’m telling you right now that there wasn’t a single one of them where you were my sister .”
We talk a while longer before a nurse comes in and tells us it’s time for him to leave. He gently kisses my forehead and tells me he will see me in the morning. I’m scared and excited along with a million other emotions I can’t separate from each other. I don’t know how this will work or if it’s even a good idea, but it’s the only chance I have and I’m going to take it. Tomorrow morning I will sign myself out of this place and leave with Carson. I’m through with slowly dying in hell and I’m going to fight my way back to reclaim my life.
Chapter Eight
Brielle
It’s ten in the morning and Doctor Stevens has already
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