Read Online To Have and to Hold by Jane Green - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jane Green
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world, is happy just to be by his side.
On a good day she thinks that daydreams are just that: daydreams. That if they were ever to come true they wouldn’t be nearly as wonderful as the fantasy.
On a bad day she wants to run away. Wonders whether she could make it on her own, thanks God there are no children as yet (again, that is Joe’s doing, Joe wanting to have at least five years together to enjoy themselves as a couple, to be able to take off to Italy, or Spain, or France whenever they feel like it, without having to worry about the responsibility of children).
T he five years is now up, and Alice is waiting for the right time to broach the subject of children, because thirty-five is already far older than she wanted to be as a first-time mother, and she knows that time is not on her side.
On a bad day Alice thinks about just upping and leaving, taking one suitcase with her, the barest essentials, and going to live in the country somewhere, getting as far away from this world as she possibly can.
She lies in bed those nights when Joe is absent, emotionally or physically, and dreams of divorce. She doesn’t cry, not anymore, just lies there thinking about another Alice, an Alice who isn’t a trophy wife.
When Joe first took her out, when he took her to the best restaurants, lavished her with presents, cuddled her in the mornings and told her she was cute, she felt as if she had stepped out of her rather dull life and into a movie.
Everything suddenly became so exciting that she left the old Alice behind without a second glance, didn’t think she needed the old Alice anymore, didn’t think she
was
the old Alice anymore.
“
J oe loves me.” Alice turns to Emily, trying to justify her marriage. “And I love him.”
“Is that enough?”
“I don’t know. But I think right now it has to be.”
Sometimes Emily knows she just has to back off, and this, quite clearly, is one of those times. She swiftly changes the subject. “So I can’t believe you’re going to meet Harry! I’m so nervous! Where do you think we should go for dinner?”
“Would you come into town even though it’s on a Saturday night? Should we go somewhere special?”
“Of course we’d come into town, just as long as it’s not too expensive. Dog trainers aren’t investment bankers, you know.”
“I know, I know. Of course it won’t be expensive. Let me have a think and I’ll let you know.”
“
H i, darling.” Joe phones while Alice is crawling along Baker Street, sitting in the car at a standstill while throngs of shoppers rush from Selfridges to Marks & Spencer, intent on a bargain. “Where are you?”
“Nearly home. I’ve been with Emily and Humphrey.”
“That’s nice. I’m just phoning to say that tonight’s canceled. Eddie’s got flu. Do you want to go anyway? Just the two of us?”
“You know what I’d really like? I’d really like it if we stayed home tonight. I’ll make something lovely for dinner and we can have an early night.”
“Sounds perfect,” Joe smiles. “There’s nothing I like more than an early night with my wife. I’ll be home by eight. I love you.”
“I love you the
most.
”
“I love
you
the most.” Alice smiles.
“Okay.”
Joe laughs, and puts the phone down, turning to watch a pair of long legs cross the office floor. A tall woman, perhaps in her early thirties, glides in front of his desk, golden hair in a tight chignon, voluptuous curves squeezed into a fitted chocolate-brown suit. She has a mixture of sensuality and confidence, and absolute knowledge that every man on the floor is watching her, given away only by the fact that she refuses to take her eyes off the middle distance as she disappears out of the double doors to the lifts.
“Je-sus.” Joe swivels round in his chair and lets out a long, low whistle. “Now who was that?”
Dave looks up from the phone just in time to see the back of the
On a good day she thinks that daydreams are just that: daydreams. That if they were ever to come true they wouldn’t be nearly as wonderful as the fantasy.
On a bad day she wants to run away. Wonders whether she could make it on her own, thanks God there are no children as yet (again, that is Joe’s doing, Joe wanting to have at least five years together to enjoy themselves as a couple, to be able to take off to Italy, or Spain, or France whenever they feel like it, without having to worry about the responsibility of children).
T he five years is now up, and Alice is waiting for the right time to broach the subject of children, because thirty-five is already far older than she wanted to be as a first-time mother, and she knows that time is not on her side.
On a bad day Alice thinks about just upping and leaving, taking one suitcase with her, the barest essentials, and going to live in the country somewhere, getting as far away from this world as she possibly can.
She lies in bed those nights when Joe is absent, emotionally or physically, and dreams of divorce. She doesn’t cry, not anymore, just lies there thinking about another Alice, an Alice who isn’t a trophy wife.
When Joe first took her out, when he took her to the best restaurants, lavished her with presents, cuddled her in the mornings and told her she was cute, she felt as if she had stepped out of her rather dull life and into a movie.
Everything suddenly became so exciting that she left the old Alice behind without a second glance, didn’t think she needed the old Alice anymore, didn’t think she
was
the old Alice anymore.
“
J oe loves me.” Alice turns to Emily, trying to justify her marriage. “And I love him.”
“Is that enough?”
“I don’t know. But I think right now it has to be.”
Sometimes Emily knows she just has to back off, and this, quite clearly, is one of those times. She swiftly changes the subject. “So I can’t believe you’re going to meet Harry! I’m so nervous! Where do you think we should go for dinner?”
“Would you come into town even though it’s on a Saturday night? Should we go somewhere special?”
“Of course we’d come into town, just as long as it’s not too expensive. Dog trainers aren’t investment bankers, you know.”
“I know, I know. Of course it won’t be expensive. Let me have a think and I’ll let you know.”
“
H i, darling.” Joe phones while Alice is crawling along Baker Street, sitting in the car at a standstill while throngs of shoppers rush from Selfridges to Marks & Spencer, intent on a bargain. “Where are you?”
“Nearly home. I’ve been with Emily and Humphrey.”
“That’s nice. I’m just phoning to say that tonight’s canceled. Eddie’s got flu. Do you want to go anyway? Just the two of us?”
“You know what I’d really like? I’d really like it if we stayed home tonight. I’ll make something lovely for dinner and we can have an early night.”
“Sounds perfect,” Joe smiles. “There’s nothing I like more than an early night with my wife. I’ll be home by eight. I love you.”
“I love you the
most.
”
“I love
you
the most.” Alice smiles.
“Okay.”
Joe laughs, and puts the phone down, turning to watch a pair of long legs cross the office floor. A tall woman, perhaps in her early thirties, glides in front of his desk, golden hair in a tight chignon, voluptuous curves squeezed into a fitted chocolate-brown suit. She has a mixture of sensuality and confidence, and absolute knowledge that every man on the floor is watching her, given away only by the fact that she refuses to take her eyes off the middle distance as she disappears out of the double doors to the lifts.
“Je-sus.” Joe swivels round in his chair and lets out a long, low whistle. “Now who was that?”
Dave looks up from the phone just in time to see the back of the
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