question. Though she had certainly asked it of herself repeatedly, she had never been asked it by anyone else. And she had never once thought of what the answer might be.
A thick cloud of humiliation enveloped Elizabeth. To answer truthfully, “Nothing. I do nothing,” in front of Max Whittaker would have taken far more courage than she had or ever expected to have.
It was Max himself who answered for her, but Elizabeth was unable to see his remark as any kind of rescue. Rather, when Max laughed lightly and said, “Oh, Elizabeth is engaged,” she only burned with further humiliation.
To make matters worse, Lily frowned again and asked, “Engaged? Yes, but what does she do ?” as if being engaged had nothing whatsoever to do with who Elizabeth was. The concept was directly the opposite of Elizabeth’s mother’s belief: that the engagement to Alan Reed had everything to do with who Elizabeth was and would be for the rest of her life.
Still, as mortifying as the conversation was, Elizabeth felt a pang of envy. This girl in the strange clothes and wild hair had always done as she wanted, even as a child, and she believed that other people, including Elizabeth, should do the same. “I would like to become a student,” she answered stiffly, desperately wanting both Lily and Max to see her as someone with ambition. “But my parents are against it.”
To her surprise, instead of Lily’s expression going blank, she nodded understandingly. But then she said, “And you are afraid to defy them.”
Though that was the truth, Elizabeth was angered. “I can’t afford to defy them. College is expensive. I have no money of my own.”
Below them, the tenders pulled away from the ship. Elizabeth heard the bubbling wash they made and thought again of the red-haired girl and her handsome companion. She wondered if that girl had had to defy her parents to leave Ireland for America. If so, she had clearly done it or she wouldn’t be on board the Titanic now.
“And do you have great affection for this man to whom you are engaged?” Lily had the effrontery to ask then. She smiled a mischievous grin. “This is a grand passion for you, Elizabeth?”
Elizabeth drew herself up to her full height, which still left her with the disadvantage of an inch or two below Max and Lily, and said coolly, “I really don’t want to talk about it.” And she turned and swept away with as much dignity as possible, though she nearly tripped over a deck chair in her haste to escape.
Behind her, she heard Lily say, “I did not mean to offend her.” Then, worst of all, Max’s deeper voice saying, “I think you struck a nerve with that last question.”
Elizabeth took refuge in the glassed-in promenade. How dare he? Suggesting to a perfect stranger that Elizabeth didn’t love the man she was engaged to! She had never told Max that. Couldn’t tell him that. Such an admission would be the most humiliating of all. She would never make it to someone she had just met.
Had she hinted at it, somehow, when they’d first talked? No, she wouldn’t have. But she couldn’t remember what she had said to Max, not exactly.
Even if she had said something, Max had no right to reveal that to Lily Costello.
I hate him, Elizabeth thought, not for the first time. And this time, she meant it.
Chapter 7
Thursday, April 11, 1912
“You look fetching in that middy,” Eileen told Katie as, with Bridey and Kevin in tow, they left the cabin to make their way up to the general room, “’Tis a fine collar.”
“Me ma made it.” A sudden, fierce pang of homesickness assaulted Katie. “She has a knack with the needle. Meself, I’m all thumbs.”
“I guess you’re not goin’ to be a seamstress in America, then? So many of our girls are. Workin’ with lace, especially, brings a fine penny, I hear.”
Katie laughed. “I’d starve if I ever tried to make me way by sewin’.” But she didn’t confess what her real goal was. If Eileen disapproved of
A thick cloud of humiliation enveloped Elizabeth. To answer truthfully, “Nothing. I do nothing,” in front of Max Whittaker would have taken far more courage than she had or ever expected to have.
It was Max himself who answered for her, but Elizabeth was unable to see his remark as any kind of rescue. Rather, when Max laughed lightly and said, “Oh, Elizabeth is engaged,” she only burned with further humiliation.
To make matters worse, Lily frowned again and asked, “Engaged? Yes, but what does she do ?” as if being engaged had nothing whatsoever to do with who Elizabeth was. The concept was directly the opposite of Elizabeth’s mother’s belief: that the engagement to Alan Reed had everything to do with who Elizabeth was and would be for the rest of her life.
Still, as mortifying as the conversation was, Elizabeth felt a pang of envy. This girl in the strange clothes and wild hair had always done as she wanted, even as a child, and she believed that other people, including Elizabeth, should do the same. “I would like to become a student,” she answered stiffly, desperately wanting both Lily and Max to see her as someone with ambition. “But my parents are against it.”
To her surprise, instead of Lily’s expression going blank, she nodded understandingly. But then she said, “And you are afraid to defy them.”
Though that was the truth, Elizabeth was angered. “I can’t afford to defy them. College is expensive. I have no money of my own.”
Below them, the tenders pulled away from the ship. Elizabeth heard the bubbling wash they made and thought again of the red-haired girl and her handsome companion. She wondered if that girl had had to defy her parents to leave Ireland for America. If so, she had clearly done it or she wouldn’t be on board the Titanic now.
“And do you have great affection for this man to whom you are engaged?” Lily had the effrontery to ask then. She smiled a mischievous grin. “This is a grand passion for you, Elizabeth?”
Elizabeth drew herself up to her full height, which still left her with the disadvantage of an inch or two below Max and Lily, and said coolly, “I really don’t want to talk about it.” And she turned and swept away with as much dignity as possible, though she nearly tripped over a deck chair in her haste to escape.
Behind her, she heard Lily say, “I did not mean to offend her.” Then, worst of all, Max’s deeper voice saying, “I think you struck a nerve with that last question.”
Elizabeth took refuge in the glassed-in promenade. How dare he? Suggesting to a perfect stranger that Elizabeth didn’t love the man she was engaged to! She had never told Max that. Couldn’t tell him that. Such an admission would be the most humiliating of all. She would never make it to someone she had just met.
Had she hinted at it, somehow, when they’d first talked? No, she wouldn’t have. But she couldn’t remember what she had said to Max, not exactly.
Even if she had said something, Max had no right to reveal that to Lily Costello.
I hate him, Elizabeth thought, not for the first time. And this time, she meant it.
Chapter 7
Thursday, April 11, 1912
“You look fetching in that middy,” Eileen told Katie as, with Bridey and Kevin in tow, they left the cabin to make their way up to the general room, “’Tis a fine collar.”
“Me ma made it.” A sudden, fierce pang of homesickness assaulted Katie. “She has a knack with the needle. Meself, I’m all thumbs.”
“I guess you’re not goin’ to be a seamstress in America, then? So many of our girls are. Workin’ with lace, especially, brings a fine penny, I hear.”
Katie laughed. “I’d starve if I ever tried to make me way by sewin’.” But she didn’t confess what her real goal was. If Eileen disapproved of
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