as she saw the Captain grab a petite woman with longblack hair toward a shadowy corner at the top of the stairs. His third wife was a statuesque blonde. Something about the way the other woman moved reminded Rose of her …
Mom
.
Rose recognized Pilar the second the Captain tipped her face up toward the moonlight. His lips were on hers almost immediately. Rose’s stomach twisted. She couldn’t move, but she couldn’t look away. The Captain’s hands moved under her mom’s dress. She stared so long and so hard that some long defunct mother-daughter bond must have been activated, because all at once her mom froze and looked down to exactly where Rose was standing
.
She tried to duck into the shadows, but the look on her mom’s face told her it was too late. So, in the end, the choice was made for her. Rose squeezed the phone and walked into the party. The tears pricking her eyes only made her more determined to find James. She’d find him and ask him why the hell he’d invited her to a party when there were girls like Willa Ames-Rowan falling all over him. She pushed through the crush of teenagers dancing, drinking and laughing. Her eyes scoured the crowd for his shaggy blond hair, those dark blue eyes … for the one person who might actually be able to redeem this horrible night
.
And then she saw him
.
With Willa
.
She was on her tiptoes, her lips on his ear. James swayed uneasily on his feet, brown liquor sloshing dangerously in his glass. And then he wrapped his arms around her, wove his fingers through her perfect blonde hair, his mouth crashing down on hers
.
Rose wanted to be off that boat more than she’d ever wanted anything in her entire life. She looked out one of thecircular windows, to the water sloshing over the glass. And she debated. If the phone in her hand hadn’t vibrated, she would have climbed back up, jumped into the dark water, and swam back to shore
.
Harbinger’s Port in 10.
But instead Rose took a different leap. She grabbed an abandoned bottle of champagne on her way past the bar and took a long swallow. Staggering through an endless maze of narrow hallways, she ignored the noises that floated out from underneath the doors. Instead she focused on each room’s pretentious-sounding name. Mariner’s Cove, Caleb’s Corner, Lawrence Bay … By the time she came to the door with a shiny plaque engraved with Harbinger’s Port, she had finished off the bottle of champagne. Warmth slowly spread from her stomach out to her fingers and toes. It made her smile, made everything feel right. She abandoned the bottle beside the door and turned the handle
.
Rose slipped across the threshold, pressing her backside against the door to click it shut. She needed the darkness if she was going to go through with any of this. It snuffed out everything—inhibitions, fear, reality. Her eyes worked frantically to adjust before she moved forward. But she heard him breathing before she could even make out the outline of his body
.
He laughed quietly as she approached
.
“I was hoping it’d be you.”
He kissed her roughly on the mouth, and she kissed him back even harder. He pressed her down into the bed, and she raised her body to meet him, to feel him
.
She told herself it didn’t matter who it really was
.
She told herself she was ready even as Willa’s voice ran on repeat in her mind
. “Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Don’t do anything …”
She didn’t look back. Not even when the light from the large window overlooking the lake caught on his red hair and she recognized Trip Gregory. He was probably pretending she was someone else, but Rose didn’t care because she was pretending he was James
.
When it was over she couldn’t look at him, she just lay on her side, her eyes wide open drinking in the blackness of the room. Even after she heard him get dressed and quietly shut the door, she couldn’t force
Mom
.
Rose recognized Pilar the second the Captain tipped her face up toward the moonlight. His lips were on hers almost immediately. Rose’s stomach twisted. She couldn’t move, but she couldn’t look away. The Captain’s hands moved under her mom’s dress. She stared so long and so hard that some long defunct mother-daughter bond must have been activated, because all at once her mom froze and looked down to exactly where Rose was standing
.
She tried to duck into the shadows, but the look on her mom’s face told her it was too late. So, in the end, the choice was made for her. Rose squeezed the phone and walked into the party. The tears pricking her eyes only made her more determined to find James. She’d find him and ask him why the hell he’d invited her to a party when there were girls like Willa Ames-Rowan falling all over him. She pushed through the crush of teenagers dancing, drinking and laughing. Her eyes scoured the crowd for his shaggy blond hair, those dark blue eyes … for the one person who might actually be able to redeem this horrible night
.
And then she saw him
.
With Willa
.
She was on her tiptoes, her lips on his ear. James swayed uneasily on his feet, brown liquor sloshing dangerously in his glass. And then he wrapped his arms around her, wove his fingers through her perfect blonde hair, his mouth crashing down on hers
.
Rose wanted to be off that boat more than she’d ever wanted anything in her entire life. She looked out one of thecircular windows, to the water sloshing over the glass. And she debated. If the phone in her hand hadn’t vibrated, she would have climbed back up, jumped into the dark water, and swam back to shore
.
Harbinger’s Port in 10.
But instead Rose took a different leap. She grabbed an abandoned bottle of champagne on her way past the bar and took a long swallow. Staggering through an endless maze of narrow hallways, she ignored the noises that floated out from underneath the doors. Instead she focused on each room’s pretentious-sounding name. Mariner’s Cove, Caleb’s Corner, Lawrence Bay … By the time she came to the door with a shiny plaque engraved with Harbinger’s Port, she had finished off the bottle of champagne. Warmth slowly spread from her stomach out to her fingers and toes. It made her smile, made everything feel right. She abandoned the bottle beside the door and turned the handle
.
Rose slipped across the threshold, pressing her backside against the door to click it shut. She needed the darkness if she was going to go through with any of this. It snuffed out everything—inhibitions, fear, reality. Her eyes worked frantically to adjust before she moved forward. But she heard him breathing before she could even make out the outline of his body
.
He laughed quietly as she approached
.
“I was hoping it’d be you.”
He kissed her roughly on the mouth, and she kissed him back even harder. He pressed her down into the bed, and she raised her body to meet him, to feel him
.
She told herself it didn’t matter who it really was
.
She told herself she was ready even as Willa’s voice ran on repeat in her mind
. “Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Don’t do anything …”
She didn’t look back. Not even when the light from the large window overlooking the lake caught on his red hair and she recognized Trip Gregory. He was probably pretending she was someone else, but Rose didn’t care because she was pretending he was James
.
When it was over she couldn’t look at him, she just lay on her side, her eyes wide open drinking in the blackness of the room. Even after she heard him get dressed and quietly shut the door, she couldn’t force
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