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periodically, seeking incriminating evidence of pot and pills. If she got caught snooping, she usually explained that she was “looking for a phone number.” This time she found something so shocking to her that she didn’t even bother to apologize for the search. It was an emotionalletter Gia had written to a girl. It didn’t take much reading between the lines to realize that Gia was upset because the girl had spurned her romantic advances.
    Kathleen, stunned, called her family doctor, who suggested Gia see some sort of counselor. It was, of course, impossible that Gia could be gay, as far as Kathleen was concerned. This was obviously a phase, clearly all tied in with Bowie and these kids she was hanging around with. Kathleen was certain that a therapist could help Gia get over it.
    Still, Kathleen was deeply troubled by the prospect of her daughter being attracted to women. “It’s very difficult for me to relate to all that because I don’t have feelings or inclinations that way,” she said. “I can really say that I can accept a person no matter what their sexual preferences are, but I simply can’t identify with that. For another woman to turn on to me—that’s very scary. Actually, when I was married to Joe, this one situation came up. I bowled in a league with these four sisters, and then this other sister of theirs started showing up. I took an interest in her because the other sisters seemed to really have it together in a way this girl didn’t. She obviously needed a friend and pursued a friendship with me. She told me that she was attracted to me and she kissed me.
    “I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in anything like that. But, I was so shaken by it, knowing that I had made her feel that way. I discussed it with the psychiatrist the first time I was in the hospital. He said I was attractive and it was normal that a woman would be attracted to me and I shouldn’t feel one way or the other about it. Actually, this all happened during the week I went into the hospital because of the trauma with Joe. But, it just happened to happen at the same time. I went into the hospital because of
Joe
.”
    Gia’s friends never doubted that she had some personal problems. But they thought her sexual preference was one of the only things she
wasn’t
confused about. In a group where the sexual posing was becoming absurd—especially as people began actually having sex, which really complicated the issue—Gia had always been considered a beacon of clarity.She had briefly dated a few effeminate, pretty boys, but she had soon realized that her real physical attraction was to women.
    The feeling wasn’t as unusual as her response to it. At that age, it was uncommon even for those men and women who would one day live exclusively homosexual lives to act on their feelings. Even the Bowie boys who dressed like drag queens weren’t necessarily involved with men. But Gia was ready to act. She wanted a first love, and she wanted it to be a girl.
    Most of Gia’s friends were doing their best to sneak into the city’s gay and mixed nightspots. But most of them went because gay bars always seemed to have the best music and, since they were often private, they stayed open later and checked ID’s less stringently. Gia was certainly at the gay bars to maximize her access to dance, drink and drugs. In fact, she often economized by taking a Quaalude on her way to the club (two dollars for a high that lasted all night) or by carrying a large aspirin bottle hand-filled with vodka or tequila or whatever anyone’s parents had around. But she was also at the clubs to meet women who wouldn’t be surprised when she flirted with them. And she always seemed wholly unconcerned about what others might think about her intentions.
    “Gia was the purest lesbian I ever met,” recalled Ronnie Johnson. “It was the clearest thing about her. She was sending girls flowers when she was thirteen, and they would fall for her whether