Thieves, Liars and Mountaineers: On the 8000 Metre Peak Circus in Pakistan's Karakoram Mountains

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trying to show off to Veikka or David, but there are a few smirks around the table, and before any of us say anything he decides to qualify his statement.
    “Actually we did it, but everyone was f---ed.”
    We talk about the possibility of getting the route fixed on G1 while we wait for a weather window on G2. It's a steeper mountain than G2 and thus not as avalanche prone. David and Phil have been beavering away in meetings with other groups at Base Camp trying to get contributions for the rope fixing, and Phil now thinks they have enough rope to fix virtually the whole of G1. David has summited G1 before, and Veikka has been within 50 metres of the summit, so they discuss options. Veikka doesn't need the fixed ropes, but it seems he may be happy to wait for our Sherpas to go up there first and break the trail (I guess you don't climb all the 8000 metre peaks without knowing how to conserve your energy). Serap Jangbu is of course equally keen to get up there to complete one of his three remaining 8000 metre peaks.
    West face of Gasherbrum I
     
    One of David's team members called Paul has decided to go home because he's frustrated by their lack of progress on G2. It's a surprise because he's their strongest climber and has already summited Everest. They still have plenty of time left, and when the weather closes in like this there's no alternative but to be patient and wait at Base Camp for a summit opportunity.
    “And Ali's gone home because of his frozen dick,” says Phil.
    This has been a common talking point and always drawers roars of laughter every time it's mentioned, poor Ali.
    “Ah, but that's a good reason for going home,” I reply.
    Nobody's really sure the Ali story is true apart from Arian, who is adamant Ali told him explicitly about his frozen member.
    “But you still haven't found out how he did it,” says Gordon.
    “Well, you build a snow woman and try to shag it, what do you expect?” replies David.
    At dinner one of our Sherpas, Pasang Lama, tells me about his ascent of K2 last year, on the night of a tragedy which killed a great many climbers. On August 1 st , 2008, 11 climbers died after a large serac above a feature called the Bottleneck Couloir collapsed, sweeping away the fixed ropes placed for the safety of inexperienced climbers. Pasang lost his ice axe, and his friend Chiring Dorje descended the couloir with Pasang attached to his harness. They were with a Korean team, three of whom died along with one of their Sherpas. It's clear he found the whole experience very traumatic, and he concludes by saying that K2 isn't a mountain anyone should attempt unless they're able to get themselves down. The same ought to be true for any mountain, but of course, it isn't. Having abseiled down the Banana Ridge on Gasherbrum II using fixed ropes, it would certainly have been an exceedingly risky business for me to descend that section without the security of the fixed rope, knowing that a slight slip could have sent me tumbling 500 metres to the Gasherbrum Cwm. I certainly wouldn't risk climbing the mountain without fixed ropes. Fortunately, in terms of objective danger the ascent of G2 is much safer than that of K2. Climbers have previously described the ascent of the Bottleneck Couloir, where the risk of falling ice is ever-present, as playing Russian Roulette. This is why I would describe K2 as a suicide mountain – even a very experienced climber has to take great risk, and is at the mercy of factors beyond his control. You wouldn't catch me having a go at it, not on your nelly.

23. Arrival of the jetstream
     
Friday 3 July, 2009 – Gasherbrum Base Camp, Pakistan
     
    Day 3 of doing nothing. There are about four different weather forecasts being circulated around camp, from Bracknell, Innsbruck, Berne, and somewhere in America. They all tally with each other, but not with conditions on the ground. It continues to snow all day today, and we think this is going to persist until the 6 th , when

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