to.Though I think she had another motive in mind.”
“Yeah?” he asks, smirking.“What’s that?”
I pause as Alex’s hand touches my leg, just a little, for subtle support.“In case…I needed your kidney.”
Benji studies me.“Kidney?”
“Um…yeah,” I say, a nervous laugh forcing its way out.“See…I’m better now, and it’s not like I would have asked you anyway, I mean, we’re strangers, but Jane just wanted to have the option, I guess…”I realize I’m rambling, so I take a breath.“My kidneys were failing, for a little while.Before Christmas.”
Benji leans back in his seat, looking at me, but kind of through me.“Wow,” he breathes.“I’m…I’m real sorry to hear that.”
“I’m better now,” I say again.“Finished treatment a few weeks ago, actually.It was a really good prognosis.And I was kind of mad at Jane for tracking you down, at first.Because I wouldn’t even need a transplant, probably, and because…well.”I glance at my plate.“Because I didn’t even know you, and that seemed weird.Asking a stranger for something that big.”
“Sweetheart,” he says, and something in the way he says it makes me think it’s not just part of his natural vocabulary; he seems to mean it, too.He waits until I look at him again.“We might not know each other, but I wouldn’t call us strangers.I don’t need a paternity test to know my own flesh and blood when I see her.If you ever needed—need—anything like that, or anything at all, for that matter…you can always ask me.”
I look away again.“Thank you,” I say softly.I can’t think of anything else to say, but for once, just a thanks seems like it’s enough.
The waiter arrives with an appetizer, a plate of onion rings stacked at least a foot high on the giant plate he sets between us.As soon as he leaves, Alex and Benji start to dig in, but the smell gets to me; I can’t ignore my rolling nausea anymore.
“Um…Alex,” I say quietly, “can you scoot out for a second?I need…”Feeling unconfident I’ll be able to keep speaking without vomiting, I point to the neon sign near the front that reads, “Bathrooms.”
“Sure.”He gets up, offering me his hand to help as I slide from the booth.My instinct tells me to run, but I manage to pace myself and move at a normal pace.
“You okay?” he whispers as I stand up.“You look pale.”
“I’m fine,” I tell him, smiling.But suddenly, nausea’s not my biggest problem anymore.
It’s just like my bedroom, the first time Alex and I slept together—the day I got sick.The room tilts and sways underneath me.And then, nothing.Everything pinholes into black.
When I wake up, it’s just Alex in the room—a curtained alcove, actually; I realize I’m in the Emergency Room of a hospital.An IV snakes into my hand.
“Hey,” Alex says gently, stroking my hair.“You fainted at the restaurant.”
I nod.“I remember.Well…kind of.Is my dad still here?”
“In the waiting room.Want me to get him?”
“Not yet.”I make the bed sit up and blink my eyes.It’s dimly lit, most of the light coming beyond the curtain.The hushed squeak of nurse’s shoes, low voices, and clacking keyboards skitters through the fabric, growing louder for just a second as it opens.
“Oh, you’re awake,” the doctor says, surprised.He smiles, pulling up a stool. He looks rundown and fake-friendly; it makes me miss Dr. Brody.“Hi, Erin,” he says, shaking my hand.“I’m
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