to marry him he said he’d take care of Gran. By that time she wasn’t aware of her surroundings, but I’d promised never to put her in an institution and he said he’d pay for a private care facility.” She looked over at him again. “He’s kept his word on that, but that’s about all.”
His eyes were thunderous. “He doesn’t hit you, does he?”
She paused to think, to gather her thoughts. “No, but he might as well. He told me recently that he doesn’t want to have children.” She poked at the fire with a stick. “I want children. I want them so much.”
“Me too. I want lots of kids.”
She sent him a pleading look. “Don’t, Jackson. Don’t make it harder.”
“Sorry.”
“The thing is, when we first got together he said he wanted to have children. Now he says that wasn’t what he meant. Anyway, I went to get tested and there’s nothing preventing me from getting pregnant, but he refuses to be tested. I think he’s afraid to find out that he has a low sperm count or something. As if that would make him less of a man.”
“He’s a selfish bastard.”
She nodded. “So then he suggested that I go to the golf club to meet some of the women. He does a lot of business there.” She looked down, unwilling to meet his eyes. “They wouldn’t talk to me. Gave me the cold shoulder. I eventually found out that he told some of their husbands that I was a stripper.”
“Sounds like a real piece of work.”
Amanda gave a sad little laugh. “That’s what my friend Agnes said, only she wasn’t quite that nice about it.”
Agnes?
“Yes. Agnes goes to the club several times a week. She’s seventy and she’s about my only friend right now.”
“Then I like Agnes.”
“You would, actually. She’s quite a character.”
He thought for a moment. “Why don’t you leave him?”
“I should, I know, but I don’t want Gran disturbed. If I told him I wanted a divorce he’d cut me off in a minute and I’d have to move her.”
“I see your dilemma.” The fire had burned down while they were talking. A log crackled and sparks rose into the sky on the heat column. He looked up, watched them until they winked out. “Will you let me call you later?”
“Later?”
“I’ve promised to stay until mid-September and I don’t want to lose contact with you. You could give me your cell number.”
“I could do that.” She smiled at him across the dying fire. “As a matter of fact, I’d like that, as long as you understand that there are no promises.”
“That’s all I’m asking.” He looked into the sky. “We’d better start back. It’s a good thing it stays light so late in the summer.”
They doused the fire using the food containers and loaded the canoe. On the way back they were mostly silent, Jackson paddling while Amanda looked at the sky.
“Oh!” she said. “A shooting star.”
“Make a wish.”
“I don’t know what to wish for.” She did, but she didn’t want to admit it.
“I know what I’d wish for.” The look in his eyes said it all.
* * *
Jackson guided the canoe to the dock and held on while Amanda climbed out. His flip-flops were sitting there and he slipped into them.
“I’ll help you with that stuff,” she said, reaching into the canoe.
“No, leave it. I’ll do it when I get back.”
“From where?”
“From walking you back to your cottage.” He opened a door in the side of the boathouse and flipped on a light switch. About a dozen flashlights occupied a small shelf; he chose one, tried it, then turned off the light.
She laughed, shook her head. “Remember that first night? I thought you said you didn’t know where there were any more flashlights.”
He grinned; he didn’t look at all guilty. “I needed an excuse to walk you back to your cottage.” He placed a hand at the small of her back and guided her off the dock. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
The light by her back door guided them down the path. He switched off the
His eyes were thunderous. “He doesn’t hit you, does he?”
She paused to think, to gather her thoughts. “No, but he might as well. He told me recently that he doesn’t want to have children.” She poked at the fire with a stick. “I want children. I want them so much.”
“Me too. I want lots of kids.”
She sent him a pleading look. “Don’t, Jackson. Don’t make it harder.”
“Sorry.”
“The thing is, when we first got together he said he wanted to have children. Now he says that wasn’t what he meant. Anyway, I went to get tested and there’s nothing preventing me from getting pregnant, but he refuses to be tested. I think he’s afraid to find out that he has a low sperm count or something. As if that would make him less of a man.”
“He’s a selfish bastard.”
She nodded. “So then he suggested that I go to the golf club to meet some of the women. He does a lot of business there.” She looked down, unwilling to meet his eyes. “They wouldn’t talk to me. Gave me the cold shoulder. I eventually found out that he told some of their husbands that I was a stripper.”
“Sounds like a real piece of work.”
Amanda gave a sad little laugh. “That’s what my friend Agnes said, only she wasn’t quite that nice about it.”
Agnes?
“Yes. Agnes goes to the club several times a week. She’s seventy and she’s about my only friend right now.”
“Then I like Agnes.”
“You would, actually. She’s quite a character.”
He thought for a moment. “Why don’t you leave him?”
“I should, I know, but I don’t want Gran disturbed. If I told him I wanted a divorce he’d cut me off in a minute and I’d have to move her.”
“I see your dilemma.” The fire had burned down while they were talking. A log crackled and sparks rose into the sky on the heat column. He looked up, watched them until they winked out. “Will you let me call you later?”
“Later?”
“I’ve promised to stay until mid-September and I don’t want to lose contact with you. You could give me your cell number.”
“I could do that.” She smiled at him across the dying fire. “As a matter of fact, I’d like that, as long as you understand that there are no promises.”
“That’s all I’m asking.” He looked into the sky. “We’d better start back. It’s a good thing it stays light so late in the summer.”
They doused the fire using the food containers and loaded the canoe. On the way back they were mostly silent, Jackson paddling while Amanda looked at the sky.
“Oh!” she said. “A shooting star.”
“Make a wish.”
“I don’t know what to wish for.” She did, but she didn’t want to admit it.
“I know what I’d wish for.” The look in his eyes said it all.
* * *
Jackson guided the canoe to the dock and held on while Amanda climbed out. His flip-flops were sitting there and he slipped into them.
“I’ll help you with that stuff,” she said, reaching into the canoe.
“No, leave it. I’ll do it when I get back.”
“From where?”
“From walking you back to your cottage.” He opened a door in the side of the boathouse and flipped on a light switch. About a dozen flashlights occupied a small shelf; he chose one, tried it, then turned off the light.
She laughed, shook her head. “Remember that first night? I thought you said you didn’t know where there were any more flashlights.”
He grinned; he didn’t look at all guilty. “I needed an excuse to walk you back to your cottage.” He placed a hand at the small of her back and guided her off the dock. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
The light by her back door guided them down the path. He switched off the
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