Read Online The Years Between by Leanne Davis - Free Book Online Page A

serious. He suddenly straightened up. “My feet really hurt now; can we go see if our stuff is still there?”
    They spent awhile waiting for night to finally darken the sky. The crowds grew ridiculously larger around the Rivers of America. She realized then why he, as usual, thought ahead and put them in a comfortable spot, along the rail, so no one could get in front of them, allowing them to see everything. They grabbed food and drink and sat there, talking. Finally, the show started and Will pulled her against him, his legs surrounding her, his arms resting on her, and his hands interlaced over her stomach. She leaned into him and he dropped his chin on her head.
    It was a common way for two people to sit. Teens around them sat that way or huddled together, watching casually. The thing was: no one ever sat casually with Jessie and did that. No one ever held her… period. She had more sexual partners than anyone needed to contemplate anymore, but not one of them ever cared about her. She’d never been held casually, formally or just because. No one ever walked around with her, holding her hand, or slinging an arm over her shoulder. And no one ever simply sat and watched a show with her curled up in his arms. She shut her eyes. The mist from the fake river felt cool against her cheeks. The air was perfect after the warm day and now cooler night. People talked in happy murmurs around her. The warmth of Will radiated through her. He leaned in and kissed her neck. Just because. He did things like that a lot. Just because, and it flustered her. She didn’t know how to react sometimes. He made comments into her ear, saying small things about the show. Or the couple a few rows over. Still, she kept her eyes shut. His hands tickled her stomach and shifted around her torso. He leaned forward to rest his chin on top of her head.
    She opened her eyes when she heard the fireworks starting. The sky was lit up in artificial colors so brilliant, they looked like a rainbow of shiny gems against the inky night sky. Her eyes filled with tears. It was so perfect. She was afraid to breathe. Or move. She was afraid she’d blink and it would all disappear. She would not be there, or with Will. He would not be holding her, as if he loved her, cared about her, cherished her. She would realize it was all a great big, gigantic joke, capping off the nightmare that comprised her entire life. There was no way, was there? That this was real? That she deserved this?
    If this wasn’t love, what was it? The feelings lodged in her throat and nearly choked her. She’d had plenty of emotions in her life that choked her. Dark, terrible emotions that caused her to draw her own blood. Emotions that spoke to her in the night, and which she feared would convince her to draw enough blood to end all the pain that accompanied her constantly. But this was entirely different. This was beautiful. There was something light and strange lifting in her chest. This was so different. She felt as if the fireworks in the sky were bursting through her circulatory system. Her blood felt warm, not evil, or something she wanted to see streaming over her skin. She turned her head, blinded by the sheer beauty of the night, and the feeling that things, and her entire life, would never feel this way again. Ever. No way. She never felt that kind of purity inside her before. She never felt real happiness before. It was always tinged by the evil that lived inside her.
    But this was softness, and innocence. This was the stuff she heard described by everyone else, but never totally, or completely felt. It was as if there was always a thin, invisible membrane that surrounded her entire body, keeping out just enough of the good that everything she experienced was always tinged by her sordid past.
    This was overwhelming, and she loved it. But she didn’t trust it. She wanted it to last in her chest forever. But she knew she could blink and it would be gone. She’d blink and wake up,