her squarely. âWill you keep him?â
She could see he wanted reassurance that she shared his sense of responsibility for Covenant and Joan. She could not make such a promise. But she could offer him something similar. âWell, at any rate,â she said severely, âI wonât let go of him.â
He nodded vaguely. He was no longer looking at her. As he moved toward the door, he murmured, âBe patient with him. Itâs been so long since he met somebody who isnât afraid of him, he doesnât know what to do about it. When he wakes up, make him eat something.â Then he left the house, went out to his car.
Linden watched until he disappeared in dust toward the highway. Then she turned back to the living room.
What to do about it? Like Covenant, she did not know. But she meant to find out. The smell of blood made her feel unclean; but she suppressed the sensation long enough to fix a breakfast for herself. Then she tackled the living room.
With a scrub brush and a bucket of soapy water, she attacked the stains as if they were an affront to her. Deep within her, where her guilt and coercion had their roots, she felt that blood was lifeâa thing of value, too precious to be squandered and denied, as her parents had squandered and denied it. Grimly she scrubbed at the madness or malice which had violated this room, trying to eradicate it.
Whenever she needed a break, she went quietly to look at Covenant. His bruises gave his face a misshapen look. His sleep seemed agitated, but he showed no sign of drifting into coma. Occasionally, the movements of his eyes betrayed that he was dreaming. He slept with his mouth open like a silent cry; and once his cheeks were wet with tears. Her heart went out to him as he lay stretched there, disconsolate and vulnerable. He had so little respect for his own mortality.
Shortly after noon, while she was still at work, he came out of his bedroom. He moved groggily, his gait blurred with sleep. He peered at her across the room as if he were summoning anger; but his voice held nothing except resignation. âYou canât help her now. You might as well go home.â
She stood up to face him. âI want to help you.â
âI can handle it.â
Linden swallowed bile, tried not to sound acerbic. âSomehow you donât look that tough. You couldnât stop them from taking her. How are you going to make them give her back?â
His eyes widened; her guess had struck home. But he did not waver. He seemed almost inhumanly calmâor doomed. âThey donât want her. Sheâs just a way for them to get at me.â
âYou?â Was he paranoiac after all? âAre you trying to tell me that this whole thing happened to her because of you? Why?â
âI havenât found that out yet.â
âNo. I mean, why do you think this has anything to do with you? If they wanted you, why didnât they just take you? You couldnât have stopped them.â
âBecause it has to be voluntary.â His voice had the flat timbre of over-stressed cable in a high wind. He should have snapped long ago. But he did not sound like a man who snapped. âHe canât just force me. I have to choose to do it. Joanââ A surge of darkness occluded his eyes. âSheâs just his way of exerting pressure. He has to take the chance that I might refuse.â
He
. Lindenâs breathing came heavily. âYou keep saying
he
. Who is
he
?â
His frown made his face seem even more malformed. âLeave it alone.â He was trying to warn her. âYou donât believe in possession. How can I make you believe in possessors?â
She took his warning, but not in the way he intended. Hints of purposeâhalf guesswork, half determinationâunexpectedly lit her thoughts. A way to learn the truth. He had said,
Youâre going to have to find some way to do it behind my back
. Well, by God, if that
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