Read Online The World of Karl Pilkington by Karl Pilkington, Stephen Merchant, Ricky Gervais - Free Book Online Page B
Ads: Link
am just in Manchester …’
Steve: ‘… In the flat …’
Karl: And you go, ‘Right, yeah, how many candles are you burning?’ and you go ‘I’m thirteen.’
Steve: And that’s the end, is it?
Karl: Then you might sort of say something like, ‘What am I burning?’, right …
Ricky So you’re ‘burning’ again?
Steve: Confusing but go on … ‘What am I burning?’ ‘The bacon, ’cos I’m busy talking to you, you twat.’
Karl: That’s like, ‘What’s me power? What strength am I coming in at?’ Because then you can tell if they’re quite close to you.
Ricky: But you’ve just told them. They’ve said, ‘What’s your twenty?’ and you go, ‘I’m in Macclesfield Street.’
Karl: But then you say, ‘Oh that’s interesting ’cos you’re burning three. I don’t normally get a three.’
Steve: The least interesting thing you could ever say.
Ricky: I wish you’d have kept a diary of this because this has been fascinating.
Karl: Now and again someone will come in and go, ‘Side on.’
Ricky: What does that mean?
Karl: That means there is someone sat there listening in to this chat and going, ‘This sounds interesting.’
Steve: Unlikely.
Karl: And they want to join in, so they sort of go, ‘Side on,’ you go, ‘Side on, bring it in’ and they go, ‘Alright.’
Steve: ‘How many candles you burning? What’s your twenty …?” It seems to me that what you should have done is made a note the first time round so that when you speak to them again you don’t need to ask them those questions. Instead you could just say, ‘Can I just confirm that you’re burning fifteen?’
‘So the rocket goes
off, right ...’
Karl: What we’re doing here is, right, just giving you a bit of Monkey News that’s gone on, right. Where a monkey has been involved in it. Good little story and that. Are you familiar with the one that went into space? The first sort of thing they ever sent up there, before man did it and all that. You see this is what annoyed me with it really. Armstrong gets all the glory, but do you know who went up there before him?
Steve: A monkey?
Karl: Yeah.
Ricky: A dog went up first.
Steve: But what was the monkey called?
Karl: Err, I don’t know.
Steve: Right, okay. So it’s not the most informed news bulletin?
Ricky: The dog was called Laika.
Karl: Was it?
Ricky: Yeah. They couldn’t get it back though. They sent it up there, did a few tests and stuff, and they couldn’t get it back. They didn’t have the technology to bring the dog back because of course it couldn’t fly the capsule back. Brilliant. We could all do that.
Karl: Right, well this was the next one up then, right – so the dog must have gone first and they went, ‘Right we made an error there, right. Get the monkey in.’ And what happened is they taught it what buttons to hit at the time that it needed to hit ’em and the way they did it was, like, give it bananas. It was like, ‘Hit the red button’ and it hit the red button and they’d give it a banana. And they would go, ‘Right, reverse is the green one, hit the green one’ and then he would do that and they would go ‘There’s a banana.’ So it was taking commands on headphones.
Ricky: Right, but how were they giving it the banana?
Karl: No, this is before it went. You wouldn’t just put a monkey in it and go ‘There you go. Get on with it.’ They’d sort of put him in one of them training capsules that you get.
Ricky: Yeah. I don’t believe this happened. I don’t think they trained it to do anything. I think they sent it up there and they put electrodes coming out of it to see how it reacted.
Karl: No, there wasn’t any of that. They did a thing like they can with animals. If you give it something, like a treat, you can teach it how to do it. It’s just like a dog, innit.
Ricky: It’s called Pavlovian conditioning. However, that was to see if it would salivate or go over to a particular
Steve: ‘… In the flat …’
Karl: And you go, ‘Right, yeah, how many candles are you burning?’ and you go ‘I’m thirteen.’
Steve: And that’s the end, is it?
Karl: Then you might sort of say something like, ‘What am I burning?’, right …
Ricky So you’re ‘burning’ again?
Steve: Confusing but go on … ‘What am I burning?’ ‘The bacon, ’cos I’m busy talking to you, you twat.’
Karl: That’s like, ‘What’s me power? What strength am I coming in at?’ Because then you can tell if they’re quite close to you.
Ricky: But you’ve just told them. They’ve said, ‘What’s your twenty?’ and you go, ‘I’m in Macclesfield Street.’
Karl: But then you say, ‘Oh that’s interesting ’cos you’re burning three. I don’t normally get a three.’
Steve: The least interesting thing you could ever say.
Ricky: I wish you’d have kept a diary of this because this has been fascinating.
Karl: Now and again someone will come in and go, ‘Side on.’
Ricky: What does that mean?
Karl: That means there is someone sat there listening in to this chat and going, ‘This sounds interesting.’
Steve: Unlikely.
Karl: And they want to join in, so they sort of go, ‘Side on,’ you go, ‘Side on, bring it in’ and they go, ‘Alright.’
Steve: ‘How many candles you burning? What’s your twenty …?” It seems to me that what you should have done is made a note the first time round so that when you speak to them again you don’t need to ask them those questions. Instead you could just say, ‘Can I just confirm that you’re burning fifteen?’
‘So the rocket goes
off, right ...’
Karl: What we’re doing here is, right, just giving you a bit of Monkey News that’s gone on, right. Where a monkey has been involved in it. Good little story and that. Are you familiar with the one that went into space? The first sort of thing they ever sent up there, before man did it and all that. You see this is what annoyed me with it really. Armstrong gets all the glory, but do you know who went up there before him?
Steve: A monkey?
Karl: Yeah.
Ricky: A dog went up first.
Steve: But what was the monkey called?
Karl: Err, I don’t know.
Steve: Right, okay. So it’s not the most informed news bulletin?
Ricky: The dog was called Laika.
Karl: Was it?
Ricky: Yeah. They couldn’t get it back though. They sent it up there, did a few tests and stuff, and they couldn’t get it back. They didn’t have the technology to bring the dog back because of course it couldn’t fly the capsule back. Brilliant. We could all do that.
Karl: Right, well this was the next one up then, right – so the dog must have gone first and they went, ‘Right we made an error there, right. Get the monkey in.’ And what happened is they taught it what buttons to hit at the time that it needed to hit ’em and the way they did it was, like, give it bananas. It was like, ‘Hit the red button’ and it hit the red button and they’d give it a banana. And they would go, ‘Right, reverse is the green one, hit the green one’ and then he would do that and they would go ‘There’s a banana.’ So it was taking commands on headphones.
Ricky: Right, but how were they giving it the banana?
Karl: No, this is before it went. You wouldn’t just put a monkey in it and go ‘There you go. Get on with it.’ They’d sort of put him in one of them training capsules that you get.
Ricky: Yeah. I don’t believe this happened. I don’t think they trained it to do anything. I think they sent it up there and they put electrodes coming out of it to see how it reacted.
Karl: No, there wasn’t any of that. They did a thing like they can with animals. If you give it something, like a treat, you can teach it how to do it. It’s just like a dog, innit.
Ricky: It’s called Pavlovian conditioning. However, that was to see if it would salivate or go over to a particular
Similar Books
