Read Online The Whole of My World by Nicole Hayes - Free Book Online Page B

play.
    â€˜Hey, Josh,’ I say, while Dad shakes Josh’s hand with that awkward gravity he saves for anyone who knew us before the accident. The old us, when we were still a proper family. I notice Dad glancing over Josh’s shoulder to make sure he’s alone. I do too. It takes an almost physical effort to deal with Josh’s mum – for both of us – and once again we’ve dodged a bullet. She’s nowhere in sight.
    Josh’s grin is as wide as a Mack Truck. Seriously, you can spot it a mile off. And it’s infectious, too, that grin. Even Dad gives in to it once he relaxes a bit. ‘Big one today,’ Josh says, nodding at my Glenthorn scarf. Although he barracks for Eastern Panthers, I don’t hold it against him. His dad played for the Panthers’ reserves for a few years and would’ve made the seniors if he didn’t destroy his knee on a swampy Punter Oval during one particularly brutal game. So of course Josh barracks for the Panthers – it’s a McGuire family tradition. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love watching the Falcons thrash the Panthers senseless every time they play. What I’m praying will happen today.
    â€˜You want to come?’ I offer.
    â€˜You should, Josh,’ Dad says too quickly. ‘The Panthers are due for a big one,’ he adds, nudging Josh stiffly, cajoling him with too much enthusiasm for the careless offer it’s supposed to be. Dad needs him as much as I do.
    Josh has the good grace to shrug it off and laugh. ‘Love to, Mr Brown. Can’t think of anything I’d rather do than watch the mighty Panthers flog the willies out of those brown-and-yellow losers.’ He winks at me, daring me to bite.
    â€˜Gold,’ I correct him, unable to resist. ‘Brown and gold .’
    â€˜Right, right. Brown-and- gold losers,’ he says, cracking himself up and earning a grateful grin from my dad. ‘Can’t though – got to help Mum with some stuff.’
    I know mentioning Mrs McGuire will hurt Dad even before I see his face crumple. A wave of pain washes over his face but it’s gone almost before it appears, and if you weren’t watching and knowing it would hurt, you’d never know it happened.
    Josh blanches and forces a brittle laugh. He saw it. ‘I mean, I have to do homework,’ he says, as if that would undo the pain.
    With a heroic effort, Dad manages something like a smile, shakes Josh’s hand again and says goodbye. ‘Say hi to your parents for me,’ he adds, like he’s any other dad and the McGuires are any other friends.
    â€˜Sure, Mr Brown.’
    â€˜See you, Josh,’ I say, ready to get my head back into football.
    â€˜Shell?’
    I stop, ignoring the flip my stomach does when he says my name. ‘Yeah?’
    â€˜You promised you’d come to a Raiders game,’ he says, his steady gaze giving me nowhere to escape. ‘You haven’t made it to one all season.’ I haven’t made it to one in almost two seasons, actually, but the details are kind of irrelevant right now. Fact is, I promised I would.
    I watch Dad continue his walk – shoulders hunched, head straight. In his own world. So completely alone, it aches to see it. ‘Sure, okay,’ I say to Josh, knowing that I’ll find a way to get out of it easily enough when the time comes. Josh will understand.
    As I turn to go, Josh catches my hand, and a hot stream of electricity shoots up my arm. ‘Sorry,’ he says. For a second I think he knows what I’m feeling, but then he nods at Dad, and I realise he’s apologising for the weirdness before.
    I smile it away, too confused to speak, unable to look at our hands even though it’s all I can think about. Josh lets go, and my whole arm seems to go cold. For a long second I stand there, incapable of speech. Then he winks and walks off, the grin on his face all the proof I need that