Read Online The Whole Golden World by Kristina Riggle - Free Book Online Page A

back.
    She tipped her face up, closed her eyes, and went for it.
    He pulled back hard, as far as the couch would let him. “Morgan . . .”
    Morgan recoiled, too, to the other end of the couch, her sick notebook open between them on the floor to a poem she’d titled melodramatically, “Perchance to Dream,” after they’d read Hamlet in English last year.
    â€œI thought . . . You seemed . . .” She stammered. She pressed her palms over her eyes.
    â€œYou’re my friend, and I love you and all, but . . . I’m . . . I’m . . .”
    â€œWhat? You’re what? Not attracted to me? Disgusted by me?”
    â€œNot that, no! It’s . . .” Ethan swallowed hard and scrunched his eyes shut. “I like guys.”
    Morgan leaped to her feet and snatched up her notebook. “What?” she cried.
    Ethan paled. He stared at the floor between his feet and worked his hands together. “I’m sorry I gave you the wrong idea.”
    â€œHow could you lie to me like this?”
    â€œI didn’t lie!” Ethan looked up sharply. “I never lied to you.”
    â€œYou had a girlfriend last fall. You took her to Homecoming.”
    â€œI’m not ‘out,’ okay? She was just a friend. We never dated. She wanted to go and didn’t have a date.”
    â€œBut you pretend! You act straight!”
    Ethan scowled. “What, you want me to flounce around like the fag Connor says I am? Would that make your life easier?”
    â€œI’m your friend,” she sputtered. “You should have told me. What did you think I’d do? Disown you? Do you think I’m some kind of bigot?”
    â€œI don’t think that. But I wasn’t ready for all this.”
    â€œOh, great, so instead you come to my house for a movie and snuggle up with me and let me kiss you and humiliate myself. You think I was ready for that?”
    â€œI didn’t know you felt like that about me. You never said.”
    â€œI was saying it now. Forget it. You better go.”
    â€œI don’t want to leave like this.”
    â€œHow do you think you should leave? I can’t take back the fact that I kissed you. You can’t take back that you didn’t trust me enough with the truth. How do I believe you about anything, now? You probably do think my poetry is sick and disgusting but you’re too good at telling people what they want to hear.”
    â€œThat’s not fair.”
    â€œDon’t tell a soul about the poems.”
    â€œAnd don’t tell anyone I’m gay.”
    â€œDeal. Now please go before my idiot brothers come down here and find me crying and it turns into a huge big fricking thing.”
    Ethan strode out past her, giving her a wide berth.
    She followed him at a distance as he walked to the front door, having always been raised to see her guests out. She clutched her notebook to her chest the whole way.
    At the door he turned back to her. “Thanks for all the sympathy about being a closeted gay kid in the Midwest, by the way. Because it’s a frickin’ walk in the park, let me tell you.”
    Ethan closed the door carefully behind him, considerate as ever, even as he walked away, their friendship in shards between them.
    Morgan ran to her room to hide the poetry away again, back in the dark where it belonged. On the stairs she almost crashed into Jared.
    â€œYour boyfriend go home?”
    She ignored that remark and scooted past him up the stairs. Jared spoke again, in a gentler voice. “You okay, Morticia? You look paler than normal.”
    She stopped, straightened her posture, and let out a shaky breath. Without turning around she answered, “Fine. Just tired. Going to go read.”
    Jared didn’t move from the step; there was only silence. She ignored him, though, and slammed into her room, holding her notebook over her frantic heart as if her poems