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poke?’
    ‘Yeah,’ said Tess, then giggled and hung up.

Monday, 16 May

    Tess was very keen to hear about the trip to Dorset, which Cat described in detail.
    Well, maybe not in detail.
    Okay, leaving out a lot of things, including everything to do with meeting Adam Lawley.
    When Cat had finally run out of steam and Tess had had enough of wedding stuff – or temporarily, at any rate – she nodded at Cat’s mobile, which was lying on her desk. ‘If you’re still hot and bothered about Whatsisface, why don’t you try ringing him?’ she asked. ‘You never know your luck. He might be taking calls today.’
    ‘What?’ said Cat, who couldn’t believe Tess was suggesting this, that Tess had read her mind.
    ‘I said, why don’t you phone him?’
    ‘But I hardly know him!’
    ‘Sorry?’
    ‘Oh – you mean phone Jack.’
    ‘Who else would I mean, you numpty?’
    ‘No one else, of course. I’m sorry, I’m just tired.’ Snap out of this, Cat told herself. You’re going round the twist. You need some psychiatric help. ‘I – um – I don’t know what to say.’
    ‘I’ll call him, then.’
    ‘You dare!’
    ‘Okay, okay, calm down.’ Tess glanced at the phone again, her fingers twitching dangerously, or so it seemed to Cat. ‘Do you, by the remotest chance, happen to have a number for his mother? Or for a relation? Does he have relations?’
    ‘He told me he was brought up in an orphanage in Surrey. He never knew his parents because he was abandoned as a baby in a carrier bag outside a hospital near Waterloo.’
    ‘You’re sure it wasn’t in a handbag in the cloakroom at Victoria?’
    ‘What?’ Cat frowned at Tess. ‘Oh, don’t be so mean,’ she snapped. ‘I think it explains a lot about him – his need for unconditional affection, his need to test his friends—’
    ‘His need to be a big fat liar, his need to be a git.’
    ‘Jack’s not a git, he’s insecure.’
    ‘You’re in denial. So maybe he was left outside a hospital, and maybe it was in a grocery bag. Or maybe he’s not human? Maybe he was beamed from outer space? Maybe he’s an alien, and maybe he’s gone home to Planet Weird? Why haven’t we considered that?’
    ‘Why don’t we change the subject?’
    ‘Yes, okay.’ Tess grinned. ‘We had a great time at the Abba tribute gig. You really should have come. It was a groovy scene, as I believe our mothers used to say. I met a man.’
    ‘You always do,’ said Cat. ‘What’s this one like?’
    ‘Nice smile, cute arse, but brain dead. Good sex, no conversation, and I won’t be seeing him again. A shame, because he’s into stock car racing and I’d quite like to have a go at that. So come on, tell me more about what happened down in Dorset.’
    ‘Like I said, the place is beautiful, the gardens are spectacular, and later on today I’m going to ring the woman at Supadoop Promotions and tell her that I won’t be getting married after all.’
    ‘You don’t mean it, Cat.’
    ‘I do.’
    ‘You’re mad,’ said Tess. ‘Look, I tell you what – why don’t you give that tosser two or three more days? I’d put serious money on him turning up again.’
    ‘But do I really want to marry a man who comes and goes to suit himself?’
    ‘You want a wedding at the Melbury Court Hotel, especially if that woman’s going to get you in
Hello
.’
    ‘Tess, I wish to God you’d make your mind up! First you’re telling me to find myself another man. Then you and Bex say I should call it off. But now you reckon Jack will soon turn up.’
    ‘Okay, I’ll spell it out. Bex and I are dying to be your bridesmaids. We want to be part of your luxurious dream wedding at the Melbury Court Hotel. But sadly we’re not very keen on Jack.’
    ‘So you still think I should find myself another man?’
    ‘Yeah, that would be good. But in the meantime, maybe keep your options open and don’t close any doors?’
    Cat was working on a database when Tess came up and dumped the office phone