Read Online The Vampire Shrink by Lynda Hilburn - Free Book Online Page A

“No problem.”
    When I just stood there, he gave me his full attention. “Yes?”
    â€œUh.”
    He raised his left hand, displaying a wedding band. “I’m married. But thanks anyway.” He replaced the book on the shelf and strode down the aisle.
    Shit. How embarrassing.
    My cheeks burned. Feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet and fighting the strong urge to run away, I forced myself to return to my original task: looking for vampire-wannabe resource material. The more I retreated into my psychologist role, the better I felt.
    â€œExcuse me?”
    I glanced up at the very pleasant-looking man standing next to me, smiling. My hands went clammy. “Yes?” Okay. Just smile. This doesn’t have to be a big deal.
    â€œDo you work here? I could use some help finding—”
    â€œNo,” I interrupted, smile frozen on my face. “I don’t. Sorry.” That wasn’t the first time I’d been mistaken for a clerk. I was good at blending into the scenery. Chameleon Kismet. Why did I even bother?
    That was all the social interaction I could handle. I set the book I’d used as a prop on the table and hurried away.
    It was clear that if it were up to me, I’d never have another personal relationship. Apparently I couldn’t practice what I preached. Maybe I should just get a dog or a fish and be done with it.

CHAPTER 3
    T he next day Midnight arrived for her appointment wearing her white makeup and the fake fangs. Instead of being shrouded in a long cape, she was dressed like that campy TV vamp, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, in a very low-cut, cleavage-enhancing tight black dress. She glided into the room and bonelessly melted into the chair. She appeared to be in an upbeat mood.
    I picked up my pad and pen and sat down. “It’s nice to see you again, Midnight. I can’t help but notice that you’re smiling a lot today. What’s got you in such fine spirits?”
    How can she even function wearing those silly fangs?
    â€œI met someone.” Her grin spread wider.
    Now we’re talking. I settled back in my chair. Maybe a nice college guy or hi-tech entrepreneur?
    â€œHe must really be something to light you up this way. Tell me about him.”
    â€œHe’s one of the new vampires who’s started coming to the club. His name is Bryce, and he is so hot.” She twisted a spider ring on her left thumb. “I’ve seen him hanging out for a couple of weeks, but it wasn’t until yesterday that he came over and talked to me. We spent the whole night together, and it was like a dream. The first time I ever had sex with a real vampire.”
    What? Sex with a strange vampire wannabe? I struggled to keep the dismay from my face. To give myself a moment to regroup, I jotted down a couple of notes on the pad. Well . I gave a mental sigh. I guess it was too much to hope that the fantasy would start to fade already. I wonder if they’d take away my license if I locked her in a closet until she passes through this phase?
    I met her eyes. “You had sex with a stranger?”
    Her body language altered ever so slightly, just enough for me to notice that my question had pushed a button.
    â€œThat makes it sound bad or dirty. It wasn’t dirty. It was beautiful. We just got swept away.” She almost sang the last two words. Still smiling, she carefully smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress, avoiding eye contact.
    I wish someone would throw away the book that we women keep handing down to each other. The one with all the ridiculous reasons why we lose our minds in the presence of some man or other.
    â€œHow old is Bryce?” I asked.
    She examined the blood-colored fingernails on her right hand. “I’m not sure. I don’t think he’s as old as Devereux—around three hundred, maybe?—but he looks about thirty.”
    He’s three hundred years old? Well, I did ask.
    â€œDon’t