Read Online The Unexpurgated Diary of a Shanghai Baby by Elsie McCormick - Free Book Online Page B

threw moth-balls from pockets. Was put in crib later for nap and watched massage amah look through wardrobe while mama’s face was under hot towel. Later had interesting time downstairs as coolie beat carpets with papa’s golf-clubs. Might borrow golf club some day to try on Jap baby. Hope Jap papa won’t object.
June twelfth
    Rain. Family sat in parlor during morning, after papa said he didn’t want to go out, as was afraid of growing fins.
    â€œThe only time you ever went to church without being driven was when we were married,” said mama.
    â€œYes, and look what happened to me then,” papa answered. Squalled then on account of having sat on price tag with stickers, which Auntie had thrown on floor, so mama called amah to give me chow.
June twelfth, later
    Sat with family again in parlor after nap. Auntie busy with snapshots taken on houseboat trip, pasting them in album. Said she didn’t know whether or not to put in one of girls wading, as her features didn’t show up very good.
    â€œDon’t worry about that,” said papa, picking up snapshot. “Nobody will waste any time looking at your features.”
    Auntie told papa that she never did take a very good picture in the sunlight.
    â€œThe only way you could ever take a good picture would be to go into the Louvre and walk off with Mona Lisa or something,” papa said.
    No answer from Auntie, who was busy pasting in view of men and girls who had changed hats.
June thirteenth
    More rain. Went out for little while in afternoon when shower stopped but didn’t have very good time, as amah stopped perambulator with back wheels on street and rest on sidewalk while she had long talk with Chinese lady. Wonder if she thinks my neck is made out of India rubber. Tried to tell mama when I came back, but mama said, “Yes, darling. Daddy will be home pretty soon.”
    Family as dense as crowd at Far Eastern Olympic.
June fourteenth
    Family excited because of red spots on my face. Mama said I was getting measles. Nobody seemed to notice that Auntie had looped back mosquito net on crib with ribbon so as to make room look better when girl friends called. Squalled last night, but family didn’t tumble. Jiggled wooden elephant in front of me to keep me quiet. Wonder what will happen tonight.
June fifteenth
    All rest of family have same kind of measles. Papa asked Auntie what she was lighting when he came home from office.
    â€œIt’s punk,” said auntie, lighting another stick.
    â€œI’ll tell the world it is,” said papa, sniffing air. “Why don’t you put it out?”
    Auntie said purpose was to knock out mosquitoes under table and papa remarked that if it burned very long, mosquitoes under table would have to move over and make room for him.
    â€œFor the next few months, all Shanghai girls will walk like a fly wiping its feet after stepping on mucilage,” papa said. “Anybody who wants to make himself popular ought to get up a dance with that stop in it.”
    Mama said custom of withdrawing after dinner at parties was very convenient in summer, as it gave ladies chance to massage bites.

Chapter XII
    In Which the Baby is introduced to the Fly Season … The Clothes Soviet in Shanghai … Papa Plays With Funny Round Things at Party … The Baby Just Misses Being Handed Over to Amateurs.
JUNE sixteenth
    Still raining. Auntie worried because Bertie was likely to be sent home on business trip.
    â€œYou have a right to worry,” said papa. “The hardest working vamps in the world are the ones on the Pacific steamers. They can steal any man on the boat not under lock and key. If Cleopatra crossed with Mark Anthony, she’d probably have to spend her evenings in the salon playing dominoes with a missionary, while Mark held down the deck with some blond going to Manila.”
    Mama said it was too bad some company didn’t insure girls against loss of beaus who