Read Online The Underground City by H. P. Mallory - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: H. P. Mallory
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lyrics to Dave Chapelle’s R. Kelly parody song, I want to piss on you , were already playing through my head. “Now stop flirtin’ with my client an’ get them bicep curls done,” Ael said to Saxon and then, shaking his head, added, “You a time waster, boy.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Saxon replied before turning back to me. “Nice to meet you, Lily. Maybe I’ll see you around?”
I wasn’t sure how that could be possible unless he meant at Ael’s gym. Not wanting to be rude, though, I nodded and said, “Yeah, I hope so. Good luck with your workout.”
He raised one brow and smirked. “Famous last words.”
“Enough o’ you both wastin’ time,” Ael interrupted as he steered me away from Saxon. We headed to the far side of the gym. I spotted Bill who was lounging on the front of someone’s treadmill. All I could see of the woman on the treadmill was that she had long, dark hair and a pretty trim body. Bill smiled at her just as she yanked her iPod out of her pocket and plopped an ear phone into each of her ears. Bill sighed as he pulled back from the treadmill and turned to face me. “Cockblocked by Steve Jobs,” he muttered as he walked over to join Ael and me.
Ael looked at him from head to toe and shook his head again, no doubt discouraged at Bill’s overall slovenly appearance. His shoelaces were untied, and he was wearing two different socks. The hem was pulled out of his shorts on one side, and his knees were so dry, the skin was bright red, crusty, and flaking off, looking like psoriasis. There were so many different colored stains on his Megadeath T-shirt, which was also two sizes too small, that I wasn’t even sure what the original color might have been.
“An’ you makin’ my gym look bad,” Ael finished.
Bill glanced over at me and shrugged, not showing the least bit of concern. “Haters gonna hate.” Then he looked back at Ael and threw his pudgy hands on his hips. “So, we gonna get this shiznit on the road or what, yo? Nips needs ta be turned into a lethal ninja like … yesterday.”
Ael studied him with interest before he glanced back at me. “You two friends?” he asked and then alternated pointing his finger from Bill to me and then to Bill again.
“Fo shizzle,” Bill answered. “I’m poindextrous.”
“You what?” Ael asked, frowning.
Bill shrugged. “I’m able ta communicate equally well with nerds,” at which time he glanced over at me, “and normal people,” at which time he glanced back at Ael, smiling smugly. I decided not to take offense because I had too much other stuff on my mind.
“Are you plannin’ on stayin’?” Ael asked, eyeing Bill with morbid resignation. “’Cause you gonna irritate me, I can already tell.”
Bill shrugged again. “I’m Nerdlet’s guardian angel. Where she goes, I go.” Then he crossed his flaccid arms over his bulbous chest and glared at Ael until the demon simply looked over at me in exasperation, his eyebrows meeting in the middle. He obviously didn’t know what to make of Bill. ’Course, most people didn’t. “Dude, you gotta place for me ta take a piss?” Bill asked as he cupped himself. “’Cause I gots ta go real bad.”
Ael didn’t say anything, but pointed to a door in the far right corner of the room. Bill nodded with an uneasy smile and left us. Ael studied me for a few moments before a large smile curved his lips, revealing his extremely pointed canines. “That’s your guardian angel?” he asked with a laugh. “Girl, you musta done somethin’ real bad in your past life.”
I didn’t say anything, but sighed. I often wondered the same thing, myself. For as much as I loved Bill as a friend, he wasn’t the ideal guardian. And I really couldn’t see him as being much of an ideal angel either, for that matter. “He grows on you,” I answered with a hesitant smile.
Ael frowned and raised his eyebrows as high as they’d go, in an incredulous expression of utter doubt. Then he shook his
“Yeah, yeah,” Saxon replied before turning back to me. “Nice to meet you, Lily. Maybe I’ll see you around?”
I wasn’t sure how that could be possible unless he meant at Ael’s gym. Not wanting to be rude, though, I nodded and said, “Yeah, I hope so. Good luck with your workout.”
He raised one brow and smirked. “Famous last words.”
“Enough o’ you both wastin’ time,” Ael interrupted as he steered me away from Saxon. We headed to the far side of the gym. I spotted Bill who was lounging on the front of someone’s treadmill. All I could see of the woman on the treadmill was that she had long, dark hair and a pretty trim body. Bill smiled at her just as she yanked her iPod out of her pocket and plopped an ear phone into each of her ears. Bill sighed as he pulled back from the treadmill and turned to face me. “Cockblocked by Steve Jobs,” he muttered as he walked over to join Ael and me.
Ael looked at him from head to toe and shook his head again, no doubt discouraged at Bill’s overall slovenly appearance. His shoelaces were untied, and he was wearing two different socks. The hem was pulled out of his shorts on one side, and his knees were so dry, the skin was bright red, crusty, and flaking off, looking like psoriasis. There were so many different colored stains on his Megadeath T-shirt, which was also two sizes too small, that I wasn’t even sure what the original color might have been.
“An’ you makin’ my gym look bad,” Ael finished.
Bill glanced over at me and shrugged, not showing the least bit of concern. “Haters gonna hate.” Then he looked back at Ael and threw his pudgy hands on his hips. “So, we gonna get this shiznit on the road or what, yo? Nips needs ta be turned into a lethal ninja like … yesterday.”
Ael studied him with interest before he glanced back at me. “You two friends?” he asked and then alternated pointing his finger from Bill to me and then to Bill again.
“Fo shizzle,” Bill answered. “I’m poindextrous.”
“You what?” Ael asked, frowning.
Bill shrugged. “I’m able ta communicate equally well with nerds,” at which time he glanced over at me, “and normal people,” at which time he glanced back at Ael, smiling smugly. I decided not to take offense because I had too much other stuff on my mind.
“Are you plannin’ on stayin’?” Ael asked, eyeing Bill with morbid resignation. “’Cause you gonna irritate me, I can already tell.”
Bill shrugged again. “I’m Nerdlet’s guardian angel. Where she goes, I go.” Then he crossed his flaccid arms over his bulbous chest and glared at Ael until the demon simply looked over at me in exasperation, his eyebrows meeting in the middle. He obviously didn’t know what to make of Bill. ’Course, most people didn’t. “Dude, you gotta place for me ta take a piss?” Bill asked as he cupped himself. “’Cause I gots ta go real bad.”
Ael didn’t say anything, but pointed to a door in the far right corner of the room. Bill nodded with an uneasy smile and left us. Ael studied me for a few moments before a large smile curved his lips, revealing his extremely pointed canines. “That’s your guardian angel?” he asked with a laugh. “Girl, you musta done somethin’ real bad in your past life.”
I didn’t say anything, but sighed. I often wondered the same thing, myself. For as much as I loved Bill as a friend, he wasn’t the ideal guardian. And I really couldn’t see him as being much of an ideal angel either, for that matter. “He grows on you,” I answered with a hesitant smile.
Ael frowned and raised his eyebrows as high as they’d go, in an incredulous expression of utter doubt. Then he shook his
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